First mtg with ABF in rehab

Old 02-28-2016, 12:21 PM
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First mtg with ABF in rehab

Ahhhh.... do you hear that? it's the sound of QUIET and CALM, of a CHAOS FREE HOME. and i am freaking really loving it.

My ABF has been in rehab for a few weeks and this week we will be meeting for the first time with his counselor for a couples session. He and I talk every few day but its mostly about day to day stuff. We have yet to talk his recent down ward spiral, about us or next steps.

while hes been in ive been focusing on myself, working out, talking to friends, and going to meetings. I know it's one foot in front of the other (my recovery and his) and i know the counselor will lead the session, just not sure what to SAY or NOT SAY. One thing he has to know before he gets out is I don't want him coming back to live in the house (at least not right away, and who knows maybe forever). As far as I can tell he is doing well in rehab and don't want to stress out our first meeting with "find a new place to live." tho Im sure this happens all the time ! I still care about him and want to support him in his recovery but from a bit more distance. THEN down the road look at whether our relationship can be repaired.

I don't know what to expect in the group session. Has anyone else been through this? How did it go for you?

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Old 02-28-2016, 02:11 PM
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My RAP has been in rehab since the beginning of January, and was inpatient for a week before that, so we're past the two months mark now. I know what you mean about the nice and quiet house! My first order of business was to clean and organize everything too, and it has felt so nice to come home to a calm and clean space.

I was really nervous about the first meeting with the therapist as well, so I called ahead and talked to her about the "game plan" I had. I also wanted to discuss the fact that I wasn't ready to have her come home right away and the therapist reassured me that it was actually something they had been talking about in sessions too, so it wouldn't be a new concept at all.

I think if there's anything you want or need to discuss that might be "hard" then bringing it up in therapy is the absolute best place to do it! The therapist will be able to help your ABF process the info in a safe space. And if they are a good therapist, they will probably agree and support your decision not to have him come home for a while. I know ours was completely understanding and supportive of the extra time and slower pace I needed.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!
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Old 02-29-2016, 03:40 PM
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thank you findingme!
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