Priscilla84

My now XABF is in active addiction (alcohol and everything else). Obviously there is nothing healthy about the substances he is putting in his body, not to mention the illegal activities he is engaging in. He could easily end up dead or in jail.

But when he relapsed, he also immediately got a gym membership and went vegetarian- "to be healthy."

Sounds a little counterproductive to me, but what do I know, eh? The distorted thinking is sad, and admittedly maybe even a little funny. To be honest, it sometimes makes me question my own grasp on the situation.

Just curious, anyone see something similar with their addicts? A complete disregard for their lives and bodies when it comes to their addiction, but trying to compensate for it in other ways?

LexieCat

Sure. When I was drinking, I took vitamins and a nutritional supplement. Who knows, maybe it slowed down some of the damage.

Not your problem, though.

honeypig

Priscilla, my XAH did this too, especially early in our relationship. HE was the one who got us started w/yoga. HE was interested in being a vegetarian for a while. Meanwhile he was hiding the fact that he smoked cigarettes (yes, crazy, I know...but apparently an addiction is an addiction).

As time went on, most of that went by the wayside, but recently he's started w/vitamins and supplements again. Like Lexie says, maybe it helps prevent some of the damage. It sure isn't a cure, though.

Priscilla84

Don't get me wrong, I'm not very worried about the consequences he may face (although I do sometimes get upset and worried that he may die, but I'm able to distance myself from that thought and carry on fine). I almost feel like a heartless b*tch...is that the alternative to being co-dependent? Kidding, although sometimes it feels like if you aren't one you are the other.

It just doesn't make sense TO ME ( well duh, of course it doesn't. Addicts aren't supposed to make sense) that one could act so zen and take on these healthy habits and be so obsessively concerned with some things, while all the while willingly swallowing excessive amounts of poison and putting themselves in physical danger. I mean, he seriously will never return to a certain restaurant chain and bad mouths it to everyone because they accidentally gave him chicken instead of tofu once (and it's not about animal rights, just health), but then he will go smoke, drink, shoot up, whatever else..

Makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. Sometimes I think I'm imagining things.

hopeful4

Those in active addiction are usually in the throes of major denial, including how it physically affects them. Or, they are scared of it so they just avoid thinking of the consequences. You hear a lot of both. Either way, other healthy things cannot hurt.

It will never make sense to you, because you are not the addict.

Hugs to you.

healthyagain

I know a person who is very vegetarian, all zen, mindfulnes, etc. etc. and his favorite herb is guess which one. I could never accept that marijuana is "so totally harmless."

bluelily

Priscilla, my Abf does the same, he went on a very strict diet a couple of years ago because he was overweight, eradicating all sugar and practically all carbohidrates. He also gets up very early to work out. He lost about 25 kilograms in the process (about 55 pounds I think). So for him, that gives him permission to drink all he wants.

He is very strict about maintaining this diet, though he achieved his ideal weight, and sometimes wonders out loud why he doesn´t continue losing weight if he hardly eats at all. There´s no use telling him alcohol has a lot of calories, he will just deny he drinks very much.

The other WTF- thing he does is tell me I´m unhealthy because I eat bread at breakfast and carbohidrates in general, he says that´s "fat people-food" (I´m quite thin, always have been, and very healthy).

He has told me he was a vegetarian for a year orso a long time ago (this, I found out later, amounted to only eating white meats once or twice a week, I wouldn´t call that vegetarian) because he had been sober for some months and felt guilty when he began drinking again. So being a "vegetarian" was his way of compensating.

Priscilla84

Interesting. I guess that makes sense, in the nonsensical way. Guess it's easier to give up meat than a DOC and it's some of that magical thinking that rationalizes the other things they are doing. "See? Everything is fine. I'm taking care of myself. I'm healthy. Everything is under control."

Weird that I fall for it though.

Tangled34

I am laughing here my AH does the exact same thing every year he joins the gym in January and says he is going to fix himself that he is going to the gym now lol. It lasts a few weeks and back to square one again!

Priscilla84

Haha I think that's common in January even for non-addicts.

It's just that this started as soon as he relapsed. He decided to succumb to alcohol and drugs and put all that in his body and at the exact same time decided it's harmful and disgusting to put chicken and burgers in your body. I'm not saying burgers are healthy, but, come on....I'd be much more worried about the excessive amounts of bourbon , tobacco, and cocaine.

Thomas45

Probably pretty common. I have a friend who smokes cigarettes constantly and vapes in between cigarettes, and yet he'll go on and on about the health benefits of his fruit and vegetable juicer.

Liveitwell

Ha! I'm chuckling bc this was so me - I was the same way-addicts are a fun bunch! But honestly, I think this is more human nature-not just specifically addicts. ..I think we ALL try and control other things in our lives when that one thing is out if control....know what I mean? It somehow makes us feel better about ourself. And maybe does stop the damage to some degree. Dunno.