Is it the WISE thing to do?
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Join Date: Feb 2016
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Is it the WISE thing to do?
Just wanted to share this as it was on my heart tonight. There are many phrases that have helped me over the years. One phrase that came from a former pastor was one of those that has helped me frequently.
He said when you have a decision to make, don't ask yourself if it is the right thing to do, ask yourself is it the wise thing to do? You may get a much different answer as I can somehow find myself justifying a way to make it "right" but there is usually only one answer if you ask if it is the WISE thing to do. YES or NO period. Decisions, decisions, don't have to be as difficult when I ask the right question.
Peace, joy and love to all. Good Night.
He said when you have a decision to make, don't ask yourself if it is the right thing to do, ask yourself is it the wise thing to do? You may get a much different answer as I can somehow find myself justifying a way to make it "right" but there is usually only one answer if you ask if it is the WISE thing to do. YES or NO period. Decisions, decisions, don't have to be as difficult when I ask the right question.
Peace, joy and love to all. Good Night.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
The issue here is, "What exactly is the 'right' thing to do?" Applied to addiction and alcoholism and relationships, everything that is traditionally "right" to do in a normal relationship, stops being "right."
Is it right to stand with your partner when trouble comes? Is it right to provide support? Is it right to be there for them when they need help? Of course!
But when you do this for an alcoholic, you become codependent! You are trying to act normal with people who are not normal. What used to be "right" is not that right. It is actually completely wrong in such situation.
Putting yourself first and seeking help might seem so wrong. The resistance you feel inside is great. You feel as if you are betraying your partner. But it is the right thing to do! And wise! For both of you.
So right things to do are very relative. But wise things to do are always wise.
Is it right to stand with your partner when trouble comes? Is it right to provide support? Is it right to be there for them when they need help? Of course!
But when you do this for an alcoholic, you become codependent! You are trying to act normal with people who are not normal. What used to be "right" is not that right. It is actually completely wrong in such situation.
Putting yourself first and seeking help might seem so wrong. The resistance you feel inside is great. You feel as if you are betraying your partner. But it is the right thing to do! And wise! For both of you.
So right things to do are very relative. But wise things to do are always wise.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 468
Originally Posted by healthyagain 
The issue here is, "What exactly is the 'right' thing to do?" Applied to addiction and alcoholism and relationships, everything that is traditionally "right" to do in a normal relationship, stops being "right."
Is it right to stand with your partner when trouble comes? Is it right to provide support? Is it right to be there for them when they need help? Of course!
But when you do this for an alcoholic, you become codependent! You are trying to act normal with people who are not normal. What used to be "right" is not that right. It is actually completely wrong in such situation.
Putting yourself first and seeking help might seem so wrong. The resistance you feel inside is great. You feel as if you are betraying your partner. But it is the right thing to do! And wise! For both of you.
So right things to do are very relative. But wise things to do are always wise.
Is it right to stand with your partner when trouble comes? Is it right to provide support? Is it right to be there for them when they need help? Of course!
But when you do this for an alcoholic, you become codependent! You are trying to act normal with people who are not normal. What used to be "right" is not that right. It is actually completely wrong in such situation.
Putting yourself first and seeking help might seem so wrong. The resistance you feel inside is great. You feel as if you are betraying your partner. But it is the right thing to do! And wise! For both of you.
So right things to do are very relative. But wise things to do are always wise.
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