My HP sends messages if I'm open to them
 

I do believe that my HP constantly guides me and shows me signs that I need. It is whether we are open to seeing them or not. Alanon (and hitting my absolute bottom a few weeks ago) completely changed my relationship with my HP. But the signs are there all the time.

The other day I had a meeting with my accountant and my STBAXH for our business. I’ve been fine with working with him lately as I’ve limited my dealings with him. I was a bit concerned about having to see him at this meeting. Before the meeting he had parked his truck about 10 spaces from me. I had something in my car that was very heavy that I needed to give him. I was struggling carrying it (and all the paperwork for the accountant, because I do all the finances) across the parking lot when I looked up and saw him in his truck laughing at me. I finally got to his truck and threw the stuff down and said (through his still closed window and him still laughing) “you could’ve helped me” and walked off. Later he did his typical “I’m sorry, but…” which is no apology at all. I went to the place of "this is what he is capable of and no more." Thinking he would jump out of the truck to help me (like any other decent human) is going to the hardware store for bread. I was over the incident immediately (because this had nothing to do with me and all to do with him), but it showed me that he will never be able to offer me what I deserve and what I want. I thanked my HP for the sign and the message. And smiled to myself.

The next night was the weekend and I was getting a bit down, as I imagined my STBAXH out on the town, looking good and me home renting a movie. My friend texted telling me a story about someone that did something quite rude to her on FB and after a long conversation about it, she texted “look what my husband said to me” and she forwarded his text which was about how great she is and how much he loves her and how upset he was that someone would post something like that on FB. I realized in that moment my XAH would’ve said “oh, get over it” and remembered once again that I deserve and want better than anything he was ever able to give me. And it made my night so much better. It was just my HP sending me yet another message that I deserve more and I will be ok.

I absolutely believe I will be ok and this is not easy, but I won’t feel this way forever and wonderful things are coming my way. And whenever I get a bit down it’s amazing to me how my HP throws me a message to keep moving forward. Just wanted to share that today.

YES! This is it EXACTLY Amy. I kept complicating things by overthinking it (searching for the logic) when all along it was really Very Simple in ways like this.
:scoregood

This sounds so positive and healthy like you are having a shift in thought! Awesome!