what does this even mean?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 254
what does this even mean?
I'm guessing quacking. Was hoping for a lucid moment when this text arrived. But I guess not.
Me: I would like for you to see DS when/if you are able to.
Him: I'm more stubborn than you. And I won't apologize for something I didn't do.
Him: That is dead and final. There is no negotiation on this
Me: I'm not asking you apologize. Just thought you might like to see DS. No hidden meaning.
Him: ok
Him: Nothing left to talk about till you deliver the papers
Him: You made your decision and you know how I feel about people shutting me out once I let them in my walls
Him: Gone baby gone
Ver-freakin-batim text convo. I guess that's a no. Feels strangely like debating with a drunk politician.
Me: I would like for you to see DS when/if you are able to.
Him: I'm more stubborn than you. And I won't apologize for something I didn't do.
Him: That is dead and final. There is no negotiation on this
Me: I'm not asking you apologize. Just thought you might like to see DS. No hidden meaning.
Him: ok
Him: Nothing left to talk about till you deliver the papers
Him: You made your decision and you know how I feel about people shutting me out once I let them in my walls
Him: Gone baby gone
Ver-freakin-batim text convo. I guess that's a no. Feels strangely like debating with a drunk politician.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Quack-tastic, for sure.
My totally unsolicited ESH on this one is to stop texting him to initiate conversations. I have tried many times to shame my STBXAH into doing "the right thing" in certain situations. It never works, and frankly, do you want him to see your DS and begrudging the situation the whole time? Your DS deserves a dad who can be enthusiastically engaged with him.
It seems to me that your AH thinks he is punishing YOU by refusing to see your DS. If it were me, I would work very, very hard to control my compulsion to initiate contact with him. Tell him that in the event he changes his mind and wants to see his son, he should contact you, and that's that. Preferably in an email that you can produce in court should he allege that you were keeping DS from him.
My totally unsolicited ESH on this one is to stop texting him to initiate conversations. I have tried many times to shame my STBXAH into doing "the right thing" in certain situations. It never works, and frankly, do you want him to see your DS and begrudging the situation the whole time? Your DS deserves a dad who can be enthusiastically engaged with him.
It seems to me that your AH thinks he is punishing YOU by refusing to see your DS. If it were me, I would work very, very hard to control my compulsion to initiate contact with him. Tell him that in the event he changes his mind and wants to see his son, he should contact you, and that's that. Preferably in an email that you can produce in court should he allege that you were keeping DS from him.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 254
Great ideas. He had implied to a mutual friend last week that I didn't want him to see DS (naturally not true). Now I know I tried!
This is all a 180 from his daily phone calls and planning-to-keep-DS-half-of-the-time discussion that came shortly after separation.
Why oh why did I expect this to be simple.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
This is all a 180 from his daily phone calls and planning-to-keep-DS-half-of-the-time discussion that came shortly after separation.
Why oh why did I expect this to be simple.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
((HUGS)), HH. I'm sorry you and your DS are going through this. I have been relatively fortunate so far. My STBXAH has managed to stay relatively involved with our DS's life, although there have definitely been times when he has changed plans at the last minute. I don't take any of that for granted, though. I am very aware that as his disease gets worse, his presence in our son's life will become sporadic and less dependable.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Hugs, Texas. Just dont engage-it's not up to YOU to make him want to be a parebt. That's his choice. You're doing great-and yes, that's one hell of a quack. I've heard it all before from my ex. These men are all alike.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,975
Irk HH, that is definitely quite the quack. In keeping with Wisconsin's advice you might email him your suggestion for him to spend time with DS. Emails are easy to keep in case AH accuses you of keeping DS from him. Your email could suggest he let you know when he would like to get together with DS. This puts the burden of the arrangement on him and proves that you are not keeping DS away.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,413
Originally Posted by Forourgirls 
Hugs, Texas. Just dont engage-it's not up to YOU to make him want to be a parebt. That's his choice. You're doing great-and yes, that's one hell of a quack. I've heard it all before from my ex. These men are all alike.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 715
Debating with a drunk politician.. That made me giggle!
Agree, do everything by email so you have a hard copy of the conversation if needed. You may want to make a folder on your desktop and funnel all interaction with him into it for easy access.
You are doing great Texas. It's all about you and your son now. Keep on keeping on.
Ro
Agree, do everything by email so you have a hard copy of the conversation if needed. You may want to make a folder on your desktop and funnel all interaction with him into it for easy access.
You are doing great Texas. It's all about you and your son now. Keep on keeping on.
Ro
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