I sold it all
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
I sold it all
I sold the wedding bands that originally meant everything to me, but only ended symbolizing broken dreams and abuse. I sold the earrings he bought me that I got cursed out for by his mother bc how dare I not call and tell her her poor hardworking son had bought me such nice earrings-in her words, "you should be proud of him and tell me!!" (Um, I was always proud of "her baby boy"-didn't know I had to call his mommy. What the f ever, lunatic), I sold my cross necklace that he have me telling me my coming back to Jesud held our family together but not less than one week later he drubkenly cursed me out calling me a fake Christian, and I sold my daughters matching cross that he gave her telling her when she got older she could wear it to match mommy but during a drunken rage shortly therafter he screamed at her telling her she was going to turn our just like her bitch of a mom. I sold it all and I feel a million pounds lighter. I figured since I was sold a pack of lies, I should sell it all. Thanks to y'all for standing by me through this journey from hell to peace.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Congrats!!!!! It's the perfect way to express your anger. I did the same thing. I needed to get rid of everything that reminded me of him. I burned all of my journals, I went through all of my clothes, anything that he bought me or commented on was gone. I sold or gave away all of the waterford crystal that he bought me as make up gifts, all of the tiffany jewelry he bought me. They didn't mean anything to me either, except as a reminder of all the lies that I was fed, that I really wanted to believe.
(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
You really are terrific and deserve so much better. I can see a really great future for you. One that you will now be able to see. All the best to you
amy
(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
You really are terrific and deserve so much better. I can see a really great future for you. One that you will now be able to see. All the best to you
amy
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I think that's a great move, FoG. I hope you have some great plans for the cash you got for them!
XAH and I didn't spend much on our rings; we found some silver Native American ones that we liked for a very reasonable price, no diamonds or other stones. He lost his somewhere many years ago, and I think mine might be at the bottom of the fruit bowl on the kitchen table--I haven't worn it in years, seemed it was always too tight or too loose, depending on my fat/thin state...
For me, an important thing that I replaced was our set of pots and pans! We bought them soon after we got together, scraping together the $$--they were not anything ultra-special like Calphalon, but nicer than the mishmash of worn-out Teflon we had. One day soon after XAH had moved out, I got out a pan to make something and felt really sad, thinking about what a big deal it was to get that set of pots and pans all those years ago. Then I thought "hey, these things are 20 years old and beat to $hit--I bet I could find a decent set for a reasonable price if I looked and then DITCH these!" And I looked, and I did find a set I liked that was not too expensive, and Goodwill got the oldies and I am happy when I cook now, not sad!
XAH and I didn't spend much on our rings; we found some silver Native American ones that we liked for a very reasonable price, no diamonds or other stones. He lost his somewhere many years ago, and I think mine might be at the bottom of the fruit bowl on the kitchen table--I haven't worn it in years, seemed it was always too tight or too loose, depending on my fat/thin state...
For me, an important thing that I replaced was our set of pots and pans! We bought them soon after we got together, scraping together the $$--they were not anything ultra-special like Calphalon, but nicer than the mishmash of worn-out Teflon we had. One day soon after XAH had moved out, I got out a pan to make something and felt really sad, thinking about what a big deal it was to get that set of pots and pans all those years ago. Then I thought "hey, these things are 20 years old and beat to $hit--I bet I could find a decent set for a reasonable price if I looked and then DITCH these!" And I looked, and I did find a set I liked that was not too expensive, and Goodwill got the oldies and I am happy when I cook now, not sad!
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I have avoided using my nice pots and pans for several years bc they were a wedding gift to xAH and I... But they were from my grandmother who is not alive anymore and whom I loved a great deal so I can't bring myself to get rid of the pots and pans even though I am sad often when I see them sitting there in the kitchen... Sigh... Just thought of this when I read your post...
Originally Posted by honeypig 
I think that's a great move, FoG. I hope you have some great plans for the cash you got for them!
XAH and I didn't spend much on our rings; we found some silver Native American ones that we liked for a very reasonable price, no diamonds or other stones. He lost his somewhere many years ago, and I think mine might be at the bottom of the fruit bowl on the kitchen table--I haven't worn it in years, seemed it was always too tight or too loose, depending on my fat/thin state...
For me, an important thing that I replaced was our set of pots and pans! We bought them soon after we got together, scraping together the $$--they were not anything ultra-special like Calphalon, but nicer than the mishmash of worn-out Teflon we had. One day soon after XAH had moved out, I got out a pan to make something and felt really sad, thinking about what a big deal it was to get that set of pots and pans all those years ago. Then I thought "hey, these things are 20 years old and beat to $hit--I bet I could find a decent set for a reasonable price if I looked and then DITCH these!" And I looked, and I did find a set I liked that was not too expensive, and Goodwill got the oldies and I am happy when I cook now, not sad!
XAH and I didn't spend much on our rings; we found some silver Native American ones that we liked for a very reasonable price, no diamonds or other stones. He lost his somewhere many years ago, and I think mine might be at the bottom of the fruit bowl on the kitchen table--I haven't worn it in years, seemed it was always too tight or too loose, depending on my fat/thin state...
For me, an important thing that I replaced was our set of pots and pans! We bought them soon after we got together, scraping together the $$--they were not anything ultra-special like Calphalon, but nicer than the mishmash of worn-out Teflon we had. One day soon after XAH had moved out, I got out a pan to make something and felt really sad, thinking about what a big deal it was to get that set of pots and pans all those years ago. Then I thought "hey, these things are 20 years old and beat to $hit--I bet I could find a decent set for a reasonable price if I looked and then DITCH these!" And I looked, and I did find a set I liked that was not too expensive, and Goodwill got the oldies and I am happy when I cook now, not sad!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 234
Truth is Quiet
I gave him the house & everything (except the camping stuff & some board games; I brought what little fun there was; I left with the fun) , in the 30 days he gave me to get out.
I left a picture of his parents...but Replaced the picture of his Dad with his face from our wedding & left it on the mantle. He could have chose me and kept his mom, but he chose his mom and I had to let him go. 10 years.
Later on I realized I was severely depressed with his choice, but wouldn't be his mommy. I needed a partner. I wouldn't excuse his abuse, but how could I justify my staying any longer, my choice, my perpetuation? I was a victim. I needed to heal myself and get true. I wanted to see what standing on my own would feel like. Especially once I was physically clean and mentally open, willing to get honest. It was, very eventually, my decision to work on forgiveness. It never started with him anyway.
Nearing 10 years seems appropriate to have reached forgiveness...for both he and I...couldn't have done it sooner. Wouldn't have been able to tell anyone without SR & You. Thank you for sharing.
BTW I kept that ring. It's beautiful. And my life is more beautiful without that heavy hand on my neck. If I could buy you a new band or necklace, I would. Start a new Hope!
You were always the gem, anyway.
And Screw him for not getting it! Ok ok maybe it's inventory time once again...
Keep on Keepin' on!
I left a picture of his parents...but Replaced the picture of his Dad with his face from our wedding & left it on the mantle. He could have chose me and kept his mom, but he chose his mom and I had to let him go. 10 years.
Later on I realized I was severely depressed with his choice, but wouldn't be his mommy. I needed a partner. I wouldn't excuse his abuse, but how could I justify my staying any longer, my choice, my perpetuation? I was a victim. I needed to heal myself and get true. I wanted to see what standing on my own would feel like. Especially once I was physically clean and mentally open, willing to get honest. It was, very eventually, my decision to work on forgiveness. It never started with him anyway.
Nearing 10 years seems appropriate to have reached forgiveness...for both he and I...couldn't have done it sooner. Wouldn't have been able to tell anyone without SR & You. Thank you for sharing.
BTW I kept that ring. It's beautiful. And my life is more beautiful without that heavy hand on my neck. If I could buy you a new band or necklace, I would. Start a new Hope!
You were always the gem, anyway.
And Screw him for not getting it! Ok ok maybe it's inventory time once again...
Keep on Keepin' on!
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
I didn't get a lot of money. My engagement ring and extra band were very small eternity bands-that's exactly what I wanted. Nothing flashy, but simple and clean. 
I sold them not for the money but bc of what they stood for-it was all a lie.
I sold them not for the money but bc of what they stood for-it was all a lie.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
When I left for my temporary separation my ex demanded that I leave all the jewelry he had ever given me. I did, and when I got back it was all gone, probably stolen by his "good buddies" from the bar who were in and out of the house the summer of his pretend recovery. When I got back he literally had no memory of telling me to leave the jewelry or any idea what had happened to it.
Sigh. Hope those barflys enjoyed their loot. I'm sure it bought a few rounds for everyone and probably some smokeables as well.
Sigh. Hope those barflys enjoyed their loot. I'm sure it bought a few rounds for everyone and probably some smokeables as well.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 430
Your rings were "very small eternity bands" . . . the irony seems clear.
This new agey but helpful book I'm reading, "Warrior Goddess Training" reminds us that our first love has to be ourselves, and that we're the only one who will still be there when we die. Maybe it's time to do like others have and purchase something that your true self really wants.
This new agey but helpful book I'm reading, "Warrior Goddess Training" reminds us that our first love has to be ourselves, and that we're the only one who will still be there when we die. Maybe it's time to do like others have and purchase something that your true self really wants.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Honestly? My true self didn't want anything else-they were exactly what I wanted. Me now just is happy they are gone. Brought bad karma into the house. I felt like when I sold them I also sold/divorced his mom and sister bc God knows when I married him, I also married them-just didn't know he shared his brain with his mom and sissy (can't recall how many times I was told that). Be gone little five year old narcissist, be gone.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 234
I want to focus on making good choices, I will recognize the red flags a mile away.
I am going to love myself and see where that leads.
You women are inspirations...
Thank you all for being here and sharing so plainly!
I am going to love myself and see where that leads.
You women are inspirations...
Thank you all for being here and sharing so plainly!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Choicy-um, yeah-anger, victim of life mentality, drinking and mommy/women issues-check and check...read beacons, not flags. Glad you are here!!!! I've never let a more inspiring group of people, truth!
I started making good choices a few years ago-took me a while to own my bad choices, but my life is much better making the good, sometimes hard, choices. Million times better without an abuser and drunk in my home
I started making good choices a few years ago-took me a while to own my bad choices, but my life is much better making the good, sometimes hard, choices. Million times better without an abuser and drunk in my home
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 234
So simple!
Red Beacons, YES!!
I choose where I steer this ship!
Being here feels less like stranded at sea, even though it's calm waters.
I've chosen to continue to work on myself and dig through my choices so that I didn't run from women
like you,
that despite the violence and pain,
still hold love for themselves, and others!
You're remarkable in that capacity!
I'm grateful to know you!
I choose where I steer this ship!
Being here feels less like stranded at sea, even though it's calm waters.
I've chosen to continue to work on myself and dig through my choices so that I didn't run from women
like you,
that despite the violence and pain,
still hold love for themselves, and others!
You're remarkable in that capacity!
I'm grateful to know you!
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