Do YOU drink?
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Originally Posted by Brightly 
This is an interesting thread because its something I have actually been struggling a lot with currently. I live with my RAbf - should I quit drinking?
He was sober for almost 5 years so I got a little lax and started having wine at the house every once in awhile, getting alcohol if we would have people over (but sending it home with them), etc. Then he relapsed (not on what I had in the house) about a year ago and after some struggle is sober again. We have not had alcohol in the house since, except when his family (big drinkers) were visiting (I didn't want them to bring alcohol into the house but I didn't know how to tell them without "ratting out" my bf).
I have such a complex about drinking now, even when I am out without him. I feel so much guilt, even though I usually only have one or two drinks. I have been contemplating giving it up - and I did for a month over the holidays, which are a hard time for him.
Should I should stop all together? He says he doesn't mind when I have a drink with dinner - it is his issue, not mine, though he does appreciate not having alcohol in the house. And sometimes he actually encourages me to get a drink at dinner, but at the same time he clearly doesn't mind too much when I forgo alcohol.
Since he relapsed, I have seriously considered quitting drinking...this thread is talking me into it!
He was sober for almost 5 years so I got a little lax and started having wine at the house every once in awhile, getting alcohol if we would have people over (but sending it home with them), etc. Then he relapsed (not on what I had in the house) about a year ago and after some struggle is sober again. We have not had alcohol in the house since, except when his family (big drinkers) were visiting (I didn't want them to bring alcohol into the house but I didn't know how to tell them without "ratting out" my bf).
I have such a complex about drinking now, even when I am out without him. I feel so much guilt, even though I usually only have one or two drinks. I have been contemplating giving it up - and I did for a month over the holidays, which are a hard time for him.
Should I should stop all together? He says he doesn't mind when I have a drink with dinner - it is his issue, not mine, though he does appreciate not having alcohol in the house. And sometimes he actually encourages me to get a drink at dinner, but at the same time he clearly doesn't mind too much when I forgo alcohol.
Since he relapsed, I have seriously considered quitting drinking...this thread is talking me into it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 54
You're completely right. Last weekend I poured myself half a glass of wine to drink with my dinner. I ended up pouring it out because I felt guilt and shame, like I'm a hypocrite.
It's not ME with the drinking problem, why should I not have one small glass of wine with my dinner? Urgh!
It's not ME with the drinking problem, why should I not have one small glass of wine with my dinner? Urgh!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 45
Alcoholism runs in my family and this is what happened to me
Originally Posted by shell2516
I hope it's OK for me to ask this.
If you have a loved one who is an alcoholic, could I just ask what your drinking habits are? Do you drink? What does the alcoholic in your life think of it?
My parents are the alcoholics in my life. I first had a drink at the age of 20 probably. I never have more than a glass or two of wine on the weekend (very rarely two weekends in a row). The last time I was tipsy was at a wedding last year.
The reason I ask is because of my parents drinking I feel guilty when I drink. After the wedding last year when I was tipsy I felt so much guilt that I didn't drink a thing for two months. I did nothing embarrassing, I'd had a really amazing day, lots of fun. But I just feel so guilty. Like, why should I feel annoyed at my parents when I can safely and happily enjoy a glass of wine at the weekend, what gives me the right to think they have a problem?
I know this stems from my mum holding it against me when I have mentioned having a glass of wine in the past- "why should I stop drinking if you can have a glass of wine?"
Anyone else have similar feelings when drinking? I never drink with my parents, absolutely not. I know that having a glass of wine with dinner at the weekend with my fiance is a perfectly acceptable thing to do but... I still feel some guilt.
If you have a loved one who is an alcoholic, could I just ask what your drinking habits are? Do you drink? What does the alcoholic in your life think of it?
My parents are the alcoholics in my life. I first had a drink at the age of 20 probably. I never have more than a glass or two of wine on the weekend (very rarely two weekends in a row). The last time I was tipsy was at a wedding last year.
The reason I ask is because of my parents drinking I feel guilty when I drink. After the wedding last year when I was tipsy I felt so much guilt that I didn't drink a thing for two months. I did nothing embarrassing, I'd had a really amazing day, lots of fun. But I just feel so guilty. Like, why should I feel annoyed at my parents when I can safely and happily enjoy a glass of wine at the weekend, what gives me the right to think they have a problem?
I know this stems from my mum holding it against me when I have mentioned having a glass of wine in the past- "why should I stop drinking if you can have a glass of wine?"
Anyone else have similar feelings when drinking? I never drink with my parents, absolutely not. I know that having a glass of wine with dinner at the weekend with my fiance is a perfectly acceptable thing to do but... I still feel some guilt.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
