Hi...I'm new & looking for some help
 

Hi everyone- A good friend told me about this site & told me it may be able to help me out. I am married to a very abusive alcoholic. Both emotionally & physically. He says he knows he has a problem but yet he does nothing to try to change. I have offered all the help I can. I don't know what else to do. He makes me feel so bad sometimes...but I love him & want to help him. We have been together 4 years & married 9 months. Someone please give me some advice!!!

Hi Tawny
Glad you are here, there is a lot of understanding and support here.
All you can do right now is take care of you, unfortunately until your spouse decides he has had enough and wants to take actions to stop his drinking there is very little you can do to help him get sober.
So keep hanging out here, reading the posts and asking questions.
Others will be along who can offer more help.
My name is Kel, I am an alcoholic grateful for another day sober.

Tawny,

Welcome to SR, yes this is a very good place to be for support. Hang out for a while, read some posts, sticky's and power posts to help you understand the whole jist of what is going on in your life and you addicted/abusive husband.

ON abuse, you know that you are in danger, being newly married, I know for my AH, made him believe that I had to stay, even after all the time in between us and having a 10 year-old daughter. My AH was verbally abusive, we got physical, it was more me than him though, still this was unacceptable behavior. NOt necessary.

Please, if you feel you are in danger, go for help and forget about all the other stuff...if you accidently loose your life then there would be no marraige home or anything else anyway. Love is not a reason to accept abuse. Love is a tool that abusers use to keep abusing.

Read others stories, and just make yourself at home here and realize what is within you that you need to change some things....everyone here always advises finding some where to go to an Al-Anon meeting....but your safety is first.

It is hard to change our beliefs when our hearts and minds are in pain and we are confused....that plays a part in causing us to feel paralyzed by our dramas, but there is a way out, find it. You can become very clear about your situation.

Praying for you, keep posting and sharing what is in your heart, help is on the way. But you must continue to be active in the process as well. Try not to lose heart or give up on yourself. You come first, not the marraige, not your husband. This is hard to understand and even grasp when we love so much in the beginning, but you are reaching out because you need help. There is a lot of good soul information on here. Do what you can to start your journey to recovery and freedom.

Take care of yourself and we will be here to support you.

Your replies
 

are so moving and true that it has brought tears to my eyes & I will keep telling myself what you've said even if it means I keep reading it everyday!
Thank You

tawny - at least you are reaching out for help sooner than a lot of have. you must focus on you and if you are in danger, have a safe place to go.

there are lots of great folks here - at all levels of recovery - so this is a great support circle to have found.

hugs and prayers to you - cwohio