wanttobehealthy

I am selling my engagement ring and wedding band... No reason to keep them-- just bad karma I feel to pass them on even in a different form, to my kids...

So I am selling them... I sort of would like to do something with my kids or purchase something for the girls and I with the money I will get for them (around $2,000) but practically speaking, I feel like I ought to pay some bills with it...

Any opinions?

Anyone else sell their wedding jewelry and have some inspirational words/stories about it?

In all likelihood the $ will go toward braces for DD10, so I'll be trading one kind of shiny object for another... The orthodontist does have interest free payment options so a part of me would like to go on a vacation with the kids (never have) or do something special with them that I otherwise couldnt...

Just can't seem to get practicality out of my head...

So, feel free to throw opinions my way!

AnvilheadII

i'm pretty practical too - so my only advice is don't start spending money you don't even HAVE yet. you may THINK you could get $2k, but that may only be $500 in reality......I'd first get an appraisal and then be VERY careful about putting these things up for sale.....

DesertEyes

I donated my ring to the Salvation Army. They could use the money and some young couple would get a bit of help getting started in their new life.

For me it was much more important to do something "spiritual" with my ring instead of just being "practical". I think that your idea of using the money for your girls would be much more of a "recovery" kind of thing than just paying bills.

Mike

wanttobehealthy

I had it appraised and got the "offer" already so that's the only reason I know that is the amt...

I sort of agree DesertEyes about it being important to do something for the kids -- sort of closure to what the object was and have it end in a nicer way...

I figured I had to wait until the legal stuff was totally utterly final and there was no claim on his part to be able to say he wanted it, so now Im ready to sell it and just am not sure what to do w that $...

AnvilheadII

ok - then my next "practical" suggestion is to split the proceeds in half.....half to bills or savings or a CD for the girls and the other half to something SPECIAL for you and the girls. sorry, that's just the way i operate - and i get to appease my responsible side, allay any guilt AND then fully enjoy the non-essential spending!!!!!

walkinganewpath

I like Anvil's idea of splitting it - then you can satisfy your practical side as well as celebrate a new beginning for you and your kids.

wanttobehealthy

Perfect! Love that idea too! That appeases my practical side and lets me feel happy about doing something fun!

Such a logical option and I clearly couldn't come up with that myself! lol!

Thanks!

Hangnbyathread

I don't know how much debt you have so I can't say that a split makes the most sense if you owe 10K and are only getting 2K. I'd say put all of it against anything past 1K in debt before you split it.

Also, I'd only use it to pay HALF of the braces. The father has the responsibility to the other half.

Your personal debt, in my opinion, is your highest priority. Too many people put that off, in lieu of too many other things. Then it becomes the elephant in the room of your life.

redatlanta

Well I hate to be the wet blanket...but you are considering bankruptcy so I don't see How taking a vacation or buying one thing with the sale is in your best option. I do understand the sentiment of wanting to do something for your kids with the ring money. The best thing you can do is to use that money as wisely as you can. Take $100 of it and take them out for a fun night. And don't jump on the first sale that comes your way....

Hangnbyathread

OK...wait...I didn't know anything about a BK being considered.

Having gone through one, I can say, if you spend money on something frivolous in close proximity to your filing, they frown upon that and may make make you pay back a creditor with the same amount spent on something fiscally frivolous.

But you also likely have more debt that this 2K will put a dent in.

Now based on the new info, I'd hold off selling your rings, declare BK, wait for that to discharge, then sell your rings. Otherwise, the courts may penalize you all of the money you got.

Or sell your rings and hire your BK attorney with the funds.

hopeful4

I like Anvils idea, split it. Half to something fun, half to necessities!

Liveitwell

Ha...you and I are on the same timing, I swear! I'm selling mine too-anything he ever gave me as I do not want it contaminating my home. (Funny, I did think about sending my two diamond bands back to him just letting him know that his sister and mom would be more appropriate recipients of eternity bands than I ever was ). Nah, I'll take the money I say you attack debt first-and use a little for fun money. Gotta watch the debt esp as it doesn't sound like ex is going to foot half the bills-not surprising. Peace friend!!!

wanttobehealthy

The debt that xAH ran up on joint credit cards is so far beyond 2k that it is nuts for me to pay 2k toward it and then have to file bk anyway...

The bk lawyer I saw told me it was foolish of me to have been paying my portion of the debt for the last year since it did not make a dent in the debt nor help my credit any...

So I guess I sound irresponsible to not put the 2k toward the debt but in reality I will have to file bk either way so I would prefer to not throw it away toward paying for xAH's drinking debts...

LexieCat

If you have a bk lawyer I'd run it by him/her first. At least know how it will be treated/looked at before you shoot yourself in the foot.

Legal advice is cheaper and more effective if you get it BEFORE you make a costly mistake.

redatlanta

I don't think you should be putting toward his debt....but its sounds like you aren't completely financially stable if you are considering filing BK - I mean if your plan is to file (because its his debt and I totally get that), but you have the financial means to actually pay it, then its not going to work to file.

If I am not mistaken he also doesn't meet his financial obligations anyway as far as helping to pay for the girls and their needs.

My point is if you are in a financial bind and come across some rainy day money = do save it for a rainy day.

If we are mistaken and you are financially sound then go on vacation and have a good time.

Hangnbyathread

Agreed
Totally agree again.

File BK, Get it discharged (like 90 days), then have excess cash to make decisions with when you sell the rings.

Fabat50

That's beautiful. Not wanting to side track the thread here but I decided to keep my wedding ring because, whatever the reason for our divorce, the ring was symbolic of our love on our wedding day and 3 amazing children were born from the union. I love this idea though and may well do the same.

AnvilheadII

So I guess I sound irresponsible to not put the 2k toward the debt

i personally don't think so....it's like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. or like me cashing my ENTIRE paycheck and putting it ALL towards my mortgage....well, my mortgage is around $289,000 and trust me, i don't make near that in a month!!!! LOL it doesn't solve my DEBT problem and just puts me further in a bind.

we aren't talking tons of cash here.....if it was 5 grand, i'd have a totally different view.....against all the standard recommendations, i just took a small $5k loan against one of my retirement accounts (the one with the biggest balance so it hardly made a dent) and i paid off my car, a very old closed credit card and our power bill which was insane for December. owning the car free and clear is a glorious thing....good for ME, not just financially, but emotionally, mentally.

Liveitwell

I think that's what I'm thinking about doing. Most likely paying bills as my ex refuses to pay anything unless threatened with jail time and I have felt moved to support the crisis center; they did a lot for me and I'm thinking a donation in my children's name would be a fitting tribute. This is a great thread, btw!!

Just at least pay some bills, ok, friend? Or better yet, listen to your lawyer

LexieCat

There are also jewelers who can make it into another lovely piece of jewelry. I love my second wedding band, and I've considered having it made into earrings, or even a fashion ring with some stone mounted in it. I never got a diamond big enough to be worth anything, and gold isn't worth a whole lot now, either. If you could stand to hold onto it for a while you might get a lot more for it. I kind of get the feeling you're doing this on impulse, but you could always stick them in a safe deposit box or something to keep them out of sight/out of mind until prices go up and you have a firmer idea what you want to do with them.