Going to have a chat with the step-mom tonight....
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Thank you all so much. It was tense, but if nothing else, nothing was made worse, but possibly a little better. And, my daughter was HEARD. That is huge for her, and that is who I care about in all this mess. I let her know after that I am so proud of her.
Dandy, to answer your question, there are a couple of things. In the state I live, 17 is the magic age. You can live where you want, with whom you want, when you are 17. However, no judge makes a kid who is 16.5 years old live with a father they cannot stand. Dear ol dad recognizes this, as does the S/M. They are aware they cannot make her do anything. Nor can I, I am just lucky she is an extremely good kid, she does not cause trouble, does well in school, and has nice friends (Thank You Again, God).
They both have phones, and my eldest DD has a car which she drives to her dads when she goes. At this time, she has no intentions of going. Her sister understands. She does plan to go, and if she has any trouble at all I am always ready to pick her up, and if I am not, I always have backup arranged.
So, that is how it works for now. My DD who is 10 is going to go for the weekend this weekend. She is pretty calm about it, and is willing to just go see how it goes. She has a different relationship with her dad than her older DD does, and has also been much better at finding her voice. It's not all there, but progress is being made.
I have not really talked to my eldest DD today, I am still at work, and she was at school. She is in a good mood, she called me after school, so that's good. She has a counseling session tonight, so that is good too.
Thank you all for your support and understanding, I appreciate each and every one of you.
Dandy, to answer your question, there are a couple of things. In the state I live, 17 is the magic age. You can live where you want, with whom you want, when you are 17. However, no judge makes a kid who is 16.5 years old live with a father they cannot stand. Dear ol dad recognizes this, as does the S/M. They are aware they cannot make her do anything. Nor can I, I am just lucky she is an extremely good kid, she does not cause trouble, does well in school, and has nice friends (Thank You Again, God).
They both have phones, and my eldest DD has a car which she drives to her dads when she goes. At this time, she has no intentions of going. Her sister understands. She does plan to go, and if she has any trouble at all I am always ready to pick her up, and if I am not, I always have backup arranged.
So, that is how it works for now. My DD who is 10 is going to go for the weekend this weekend. She is pretty calm about it, and is willing to just go see how it goes. She has a different relationship with her dad than her older DD does, and has also been much better at finding her voice. It's not all there, but progress is being made.
I have not really talked to my eldest DD today, I am still at work, and she was at school. She is in a good mood, she called me after school, so that's good. She has a counseling session tonight, so that is good too.
Thank you all for your support and understanding, I appreciate each and every one of you.
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