Liveitwell

My ex was the mommas boy from hell. When he got drunk he would say awful things to me that didn't have anything to do with me a lot of the time. Should have been aimed squarely at the person who enabled him to be a man child. I recall telling him thst someday I was going to find a real man-and I meant it. Mommas boys are the polar opposite of MEN-they lack boundaries, have deep seated issues with women stemming from their mommas and truly are in love with momma first-and no woman is going to get in between that. And these toxic mommas are all too happy to have their boys come home to momma and treating then like the husband or partner she never had or is too scared to seek out. They are awful. Why am I posting this? Because most mommas boys have substance abuse issues and are inept at having a healthy relationship with any woman-stemming from toxic relationship with momma. Some of y'all are dealing with the same thing I did. I've realized, actually I did years ago, that I should have run for the hills. And never looked back. My ex literally told me he wanted me to act and treat him like his mother does. Hmmm. There's your sign. I was a blithering idiot to have ever expected a real relationship with him-my absolute fault. An idiot. At least now I know-and it's his problem, not mine. I recalled recently how our marriage counselor straight up told him that he was still acting out and living like he was a five year old boy. Yep. I saw it all the time. But momma was okay with him, so he was fine to blame everything on me. Our pastor told him that maybe God had other plans besides his momma and sissy did. My ex turned his nose up to even remotely entertaining that thought. Anyway, it was such a surreal disturbing Freudian disgusting situation that it still gives me chills thinking about it. Here's some info if you're interested.....I could have written every damn word. Every single one.


Divine Int'l Healing & Leadership Center: Dating a MAMA'S BOY is a Toxic Relationship

Man did I hit the jackpot-and alcoholic mommas boy. Go me! thankful to be out.

wanttobehealthy

I swear to God we were married to evil twins separated at birth but who came from the same crazy mommy... Was your ex's dad a drunk too?

My xMIL enabled her loser abuser drunk husband into an early grave, has a bi polar daughter who tricked a man into having a kid with her, has a paranoid schizophrenic drunk for another son and then there is my xAH who was the golden boy (I did not know anything about his siblings or know them at all prior to our marriage-- should have been a red flag!)...

Liveitwell

Yes-his dad was a drunk. My Xmil also enabled her husband to an early death all the while playing the victim while never actually doing anything about her life-leaving it up to her little golden boy (my ex) to clean up the mess. Typical. I knew my exs family prior to marriage-I adored his brother. I now feel bad for his brother bc his sole purpose in life is to take care of momma-he's 40+ and still lives at home. I always had an issue with my exs sister bc she always came a cross as "I know what's best" for him and also me-and treated me awfully many times. And treated her brother awfully-anytime a boundary was put up, she would the guilt him and manipulate him. It's a typical toxic alcoholic family-if you read about trauma bonds you can see that my ex is all too happy to be the golden child (Peter Pan syndrome) and big sissy is the rescuer and protector and knows what's best for little brother (I can't count how many times I was told through drunk slurring words that "my sister knows what's best for me"...or "my mom truly loves me-why can't you just love me the way she does?".. The word disturbing doesn't even start to describe it. Mentally and emotiinally he is still a child-that's what I learned through our marriage. While I'm sure these roles served them well growing up in an awfully abusive home, those roles are 30 years ago. My ex would slander me to his sister, who in turn would load him up with alcohol and they'd get drunk together. I found out during our divorce my Xmil told my stbx that thank God the bitch was gone-now he could let his sissy make him happy. I literally vomited in my mouth a little bit....even now just writing it! My Xmil doesn't want her boys to grow up or be independent and move on with their lives-trust me, she's told me. Their purpose is to take care of the only wan thst is allowed to have their hearts and the only woman good enough for them-her. (I was told that as well).
Yes-I've read your threads....it does sound like you married my ex and had the same experiences-just pray for him. And pray for the next victim....and be glad it's not you anymore