I need you guys. Help please
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
I need you guys. Help please
Hey friends.
I feel bad posting because I haven't contributed much lately. But I need you guys right now.
I am on a 4 day training 4 hours away from home and my boys are with my mom
I am njoing alone time sort of. But I really miss my boys. And I backslid and looked at separated AH's phone records. I saw texts with the woman he cheated on me with... Apparently they are something now. Not a surprise. But painful to see.
And I drank tonight for the first time in a while. Doesn't help.
I'm sorry guys I'm just really hurting and I want to go home to my boys and I need you guys.
Why didn't he send me sexy texts like that?
Why do I still care?
I feel bad posting because I haven't contributed much lately. But I need you guys right now.
I am on a 4 day training 4 hours away from home and my boys are with my mom
I am njoing alone time sort of. But I really miss my boys. And I backslid and looked at separated AH's phone records. I saw texts with the woman he cheated on me with... Apparently they are something now. Not a surprise. But painful to see.
And I drank tonight for the first time in a while. Doesn't help.
I'm sorry guys I'm just really hurting and I want to go home to my boys and I need you guys.
Why didn't he send me sexy texts like that?
Why do I still care?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 114
Hey Kboys, I don't post very often. However, wanted to let you know I am awake and here. Sorry you are hurting and missing your boys. I don't have much advice except tomorrow is a new day. Meaning that coming here and sharing what you did and asking for support I think is huge. Hugs! Tomorrow is a fresh start and you will be home to your boys before you know it.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 114
Frustrating how sometimes we do stuff that we know is going to cause us pain! Yet we go ahead and do it anyhow. I don't remember all the details of your relationship with your ex but know it was rough. Maybe you needed to look one last time to remind yourself why you need to let go and put one foot in front of the other for your boys. Sometimes grieving the loss of a relationship takes much longer then anticipated and that's ok!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 114
Ok I skimmed some of your past threads and I was thinking correctly re your situation with your ex!! I am sure someone else with way more experience will give you great advice in the AM. You have been so incredibly brave and come so far!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
Thank you tigerlily for taking the time to look at my past threads. Thanks for being awake. 
I can't sleep and have to be awake in 5 hours. Thought I'd get great sleep without boys!! Not so much so far.
I wish I could just say good riddanceto ah and she can have him but it just really still effing hurts. Really bad.
And I'm in this downtown hotel room and there's loudness and music banging down in the street and it sounds like a dump truck going by every 20 minutes... Idk
.. I live in the country... Wtf is that? Is it a bus? Do they run at 2 am?
I don't think I can get through 3 more days of this training. I will though....
I just hurt. Maybe being without my boys is allowing me to let my guard down and really feel it all....
I can't sleep and have to be awake in 5 hours. Thought I'd get great sleep without boys!! Not so much so far.
I wish I could just say good riddanceto ah and she can have him but it just really still effing hurts. Really bad.
And I'm in this downtown hotel room and there's loudness and music banging down in the street and it sounds like a dump truck going by every 20 minutes... Idk
.. I live in the country... Wtf is that? Is it a bus? Do they run at 2 am?
I don't think I can get through 3 more days of this training. I will though....
I just hurt. Maybe being without my boys is allowing me to let my guard down and really feel it all....
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 114
I think you might be onto something there re your guard being down with being away from your boys. You have been through so much and as Moms we tend to shove our emotions down inside to do what needs to be done for our kids. Maybe this trip will allow you the time to work through some unresolved stuff? Do you think journaling would help? Just thinking if you could maybe find a pen and paper and get out what your are feeling?? Am also thinking maybe today you should invest in some ear plugs?! Sounds like that is a super noisy hotel!! Something that has sometimes helped for me is turning on the bathroom fan. Might help drown some noise. Hope you are able to quiet your mind and get some rest.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 609
I totally understand. I had so many of those nights. I am proud of you for being vulnerable enough to admit it. This may sound corny but you really have to just positive talk yourself.
It is all fresh and fun in the beginning but really, it is not built on foundation or substance. They started that while you were married so they will always have some mistrust between them because they cheated together. Try to shift focus and look at pics of your babies and plan something you can do with them when you see them next. Think of the last funny thing each of them said or did. Our children have a way of sustaining us when we cant sustain ourselves.
Do not be sorry for needing us. That is why we are here. xo
It is all fresh and fun in the beginning but really, it is not built on foundation or substance. They started that while you were married so they will always have some mistrust between them because they cheated together. Try to shift focus and look at pics of your babies and plan something you can do with them when you see them next. Think of the last funny thing each of them said or did. Our children have a way of sustaining us when we cant sustain ourselves.
Do not be sorry for needing us. That is why we are here. xo
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Kboys - so sorry this was upsetting to you.
I am hoping that a new day today will help you put things in perspective. New = lots of texts and contact. It doesn't change who he is........this woman will end up with the same person you were dealing with IF it goes beyond what it is now. That's not great news for her. There will be a say when if something like this presents itself you will say "I'm so glad I got rid of the abusive, cheating, alcoholic" rather than think "Why didn't he send me sexy texts"? It really is about perspective and what you choose to see or feel at the time which sometimes isn't really how it is.
You know drinking is a depressant. I'd suggest staying away from it for now for the reason of what happened. For me alcohol intensifies whatever I am feeling be it on the surface or underneath. If I am mad, I get madder. If I am sad I get sadder. I will certainly do things if I am in a funk that I wouldn't do sober, like look at phone records that I know would upset me.
Can you cut off the phone between you two? It would probably be best to not have that availability especially because it sounds like you could actually read the texts.
I think maybe this is the first alone time like this you have had since you split. No distractions with kids. I am not surprised you got upset/depressed. It happens. Today is a new and better day - you will get through this training! All will be fine.
I am hoping that a new day today will help you put things in perspective. New = lots of texts and contact. It doesn't change who he is........this woman will end up with the same person you were dealing with IF it goes beyond what it is now. That's not great news for her. There will be a say when if something like this presents itself you will say "I'm so glad I got rid of the abusive, cheating, alcoholic" rather than think "Why didn't he send me sexy texts"? It really is about perspective and what you choose to see or feel at the time which sometimes isn't really how it is.
You know drinking is a depressant. I'd suggest staying away from it for now for the reason of what happened. For me alcohol intensifies whatever I am feeling be it on the surface or underneath. If I am mad, I get madder. If I am sad I get sadder. I will certainly do things if I am in a funk that I wouldn't do sober, like look at phone records that I know would upset me.
Can you cut off the phone between you two? It would probably be best to not have that availability especially because it sounds like you could actually read the texts.
I think maybe this is the first alone time like this you have had since you split. No distractions with kids. I am not surprised you got upset/depressed. It happens. Today is a new and better day - you will get through this training! All will be fine.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
sending you support kboys
he hasn't changed, not underneath
you did the right thing for you and your kids
there is no "good" future with him in active addiction
and until he deals with his issues.
He's no prize, and that will come out sooner than later.
he hasn't changed, not underneath
you did the right thing for you and your kids
there is no "good" future with him in active addiction
and until he deals with his issues.
He's no prize, and that will come out sooner than later.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
When xAH and I were separated and still on the same phone plan, it was the same for me.... I would look at the days he bailed on the kids and see that he was busy sending a gazillion texts to a former (female) friend of mine whom I believe he had an affair with.
She is an A too.
The best thing I did for myself was to cancel the shared phone plan. Knowing that I "could" see what he was up to instead of being a parent to his kids, just made me insane.
The phone plan separation 2+ years ago was the first step toward some peace for me...
I totally empathize with where you're at...
Hang in there...
She is an A too.
The best thing I did for myself was to cancel the shared phone plan. Knowing that I "could" see what he was up to instead of being a parent to his kids, just made me insane.
The phone plan separation 2+ years ago was the first step toward some peace for me...
I totally empathize with where you're at...
Hang in there...
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
so......how is it you still have access to HIS phone records? think that would be something to FIX, maybe???
i suspect this is the first time in awhile that you have been truly on your own? different town, strange hotel, and just Kboys? i'm not saying you don't miss your boys....but i do wonder if you are just struggling being solo? this is a good mini-session on learning how to DO that.....
i personally love short business trips away....hotel room all to myself, BED all to myself, little soaps, room service.
just for some levity, Shelley Berman, comedian from the 70s, wrote a book A Hotel is Place....my mom ran a hotel in our hometown and it has some really funny stories. this one is my favorite!!!
The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times!
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy,
Relief Maid
Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, - 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman
i suspect this is the first time in awhile that you have been truly on your own? different town, strange hotel, and just Kboys? i'm not saying you don't miss your boys....but i do wonder if you are just struggling being solo? this is a good mini-session on learning how to DO that.....
i personally love short business trips away....hotel room all to myself, BED all to myself, little soaps, room service.
just for some levity, Shelley Berman, comedian from the 70s, wrote a book A Hotel is Place....my mom ran a hotel in our hometown and it has some really funny stories. this one is my favorite!!!
The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times!
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy,
Relief Maid
Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, - 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Kboys, one of our wise SR members posted the quote below a while ago when she was having similar feelings about her X, feeling stung about his new "perfect" relationship w/a different woman:
I try to think of it this way- If I threw a moldy sandwich in a Dumpster, would I really be jealous of the person who was so starved for crumbs that they would dive in the Dumpster to pick it up?
And I think it might be helpful to you to bear that thought in mind also....he is a VERY moldy sandwich, and you really, really do not want even one little nibble!
I try to think of it this way- If I threw a moldy sandwich in a Dumpster, would I really be jealous of the person who was so starved for crumbs that they would dive in the Dumpster to pick it up?
And I think it might be helpful to you to bear that thought in mind also....he is a VERY moldy sandwich, and you really, really do not want even one little nibble!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
Good morning... Thanks all! So glad I have you guys.
Wish I could say I'm feeling refreshed this morning, but not so much. Definitely no more wine this week for me. You're right red, it just made me more emotional... And seriously, I don't know what the heck was going on outside my room all night...
Ah has an app on his phone which h allow me to see his texts, calls, location. We don't share a plan but until he changes his password or uninstalls the app, I can look, but don't want to anymore and I know I shouldn't. It makes me crazy.
I really appreciate all the support and words of wisdom.
Anvilhead.... Omg.that is hilarious...
Wish I could say I'm feeling refreshed this morning, but not so much. Definitely no more wine this week for me. You're right red, it just made me more emotional... And seriously, I don't know what the heck was going on outside my room all night...
Ah has an app on his phone which h allow me to see his texts, calls, location. We don't share a plan but until he changes his password or uninstalls the app, I can look, but don't want to anymore and I know I shouldn't. It makes me crazy.
I really appreciate all the support and words of wisdom.
Anvilhead.... Omg.that is hilarious...
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Give yourself a break. It's a long, hard road, and there will be hard days.
You are past the crap day, you have one choice, move forward. AND GET THAT CRAP OFF OF YOUR PHONE! What a terrible thing.
Many hugs!
You are past the crap day, you have one choice, move forward. AND GET THAT CRAP OFF OF YOUR PHONE! What a terrible thing.
Many hugs!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
(((((hugs))))) Kboys, I have BTDT & all I can say is that THESE are the times that really were about ME & MY recovery. It was a rare occasion for me to even BE alone for that length of time without someone calling me Mom, so that in & of itself was an adjustment. Being on my own side of the street, all alone, no real distractions? Uncomfortable. I reached out for distraction, something external to focus on. (as if the intense training sessions didn't offer any challenge at all? ugh, now I have Bad Employee Guilt too.....)
These are the situations that ultimately showed me how it was MY bad decisions that had hurt me sometimes, not his. It showed me a lot about what they mean when they talk about what we can & cannot control. The first business trip (or 2) that I had to take during recovery were anxiety-ridden, restless, unfocused. I couldn't get myself IN the moment like I knew I should, but I didn't seem to know WHERE I was mentally either. It was so disconcerting & in the end, for me, it was all about Control.
It seems so black & white to turn that same comment against someone struggling with addiction, right? You just do or do not lie. Do or do not drink. Control is simple, right? No.
My behavioral relapses like this FAR outnumber RAH's if we wanted to try to compare it like apples & oranges. I was surprised to see this in myself, to see how I'd fallen into patterns I no longer questioned (or justified), to see how little I knew & understood in my own behavior. Just having access to track his phone isn't a reason to do it. It's up to *me* to remove the access from my phone, erase passwords I've memorized, etc. That's why I don't even have my MIL's phone number - no chance I can call her & pop off on her that way! It would take some deliberate effort for me to reach her & by then, I have either cooled way down or the issue is really important enough. (so, I haven't spoken to her in, 15 years, I think?
)
And I'm another one that cannot drink if I am feeling even slightly emotional about anything. It takes me to awful places emotionally, but not in the "look how much I'm acknowledging & addressing & healing!" sort of way.... more like, "wow, even *I* feel sorry for me now......".... Pity Party? Table of 1?
These are the situations that ultimately showed me how it was MY bad decisions that had hurt me sometimes, not his. It showed me a lot about what they mean when they talk about what we can & cannot control. The first business trip (or 2) that I had to take during recovery were anxiety-ridden, restless, unfocused. I couldn't get myself IN the moment like I knew I should, but I didn't seem to know WHERE I was mentally either. It was so disconcerting & in the end, for me, it was all about Control.
It seems so black & white to turn that same comment against someone struggling with addiction, right? You just do or do not lie. Do or do not drink. Control is simple, right? No.
My behavioral relapses like this FAR outnumber RAH's if we wanted to try to compare it like apples & oranges. I was surprised to see this in myself, to see how I'd fallen into patterns I no longer questioned (or justified), to see how little I knew & understood in my own behavior. Just having access to track his phone isn't a reason to do it. It's up to *me* to remove the access from my phone, erase passwords I've memorized, etc. That's why I don't even have my MIL's phone number - no chance I can call her & pop off on her that way! It would take some deliberate effort for me to reach her & by then, I have either cooled way down or the issue is really important enough. (so, I haven't spoken to her in, 15 years, I think?
)And I'm another one that cannot drink if I am feeling even slightly emotional about anything. It takes me to awful places emotionally, but not in the "look how much I'm acknowledging & addressing & healing!" sort of way.... more like, "wow, even *I* feel sorry for me now......".... Pity Party? Table of 1?
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i totally want to share the Room Service schtick from the same book, but fear it might be consider un-PC by some as it deals with language barriers........sigh.
Kboys, you're gonna be ok, you know that right?
Kboys, you're gonna be ok, you know that right?
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