theuncertainty

Since AXH and I were together. It's technically been years since he's seen our son.

We had a fairly large earthquake here late Saturday night/early Sunday morning - 7.1 magnitude - there was property damage throughout the southcentral area, several homes evacuated, no deaths reported, and within minutes I had friends and family from around the US checking in on DS and I to make sure we were OK, including family on the other side of the US.

And I found myself checking my e-mail to see if AXH e-mailed (the only approved mode of communication per the modified no-contact order through the court) to make sure DS is OK. (We are.) Of course, there's nothing. Of course. I'm not surprised; not really. But I'm amazed that the idea that AXH would be a concerned parent still hasn't really left. Just had to get that off my chest.

While I'm on the subject, just want to get this out of my head, too: AXH is such a dips---. He responded to my December e-mail forwarding DS's semester grades; he said he's sorry for the slow response, work's been crazy (no response was requested, expected, or required - I just forwarded his grades, for pete's sake). Couldn't tell he's been working from the child support (not) coming in or his (non)payment for 1/2 of DS's medical and dental expenses. 1/2 tempted to e-mail back and ask where he's working so I could forward it on to the state child support services office, but I won't because I know he wouldn't respond to that e-mail, just like he doesn't reply to the e-mails forwarding the medical expense info. Though, honestly, I'd be surprised if he actually is working.

IDK. I'm hoping that writing this out gets it off my mind. Thanks.

LexieCat

Not to defend him, but if a major earthquake or anything else had happened where people I love live, last week, when I was supposedly "on vacation" but actually wound up working almost the entire time on a major project with a deadline, I wouldn't have known it. Of course, if I DID know, I would have checked on their well-being, but the key is that I wouldn't have known.

Yes, he is a dip****. Known that for a long time, based on your posts over the years. Just sayin'. Might be that he hadn't heard about it. I didn't know till you just now posted.

theuncertainty

BTW, would highly recommend that if you have a phobia about earthquakes and live the in the Alaska area, that you _don't_ go to the Alaska Earthquake Center website to checkout the recent earthquakes. But if you're not earthquake squeamish, they post a map that shows where all of the recent earthquakes, including little 1.x tremblers, were. It's a giant mass of yellow and orange circles. Science and nature. Pretty cool and awe-inspiring.

theuncertainty

Yep, Lexie, I get that. And I have a hard time remembering that he and his family are nothing like my family. My aunts, uncles and cousins in Boston and New York, friends in Colorado, Washington and California, checked in on us just after DS got back to sleep and before I could start to relax again. But that's my family and friends close enough to be family...

I really need to keep reminding myself that there's a reason there's no contact with his side. I heard and saw family from the Lower 48 more than we saw or heard from his sister, who lived just across town.

I'm having a hard time with the realization that I hadn't let go of the expectation that he'd be a parent to DS someday... if not involved, at least somewhat attentive... IDK