The Worst
 

Real talk.

Really.

The worst is when your qualifier finds recovery and truly engages in it and you start freaking out over something (par for your own course) and your own crazy is amplified because you're suddenly the only "acting" crazy person in the room. That's the worst. Telling someone to be less calm. Yeah. That's a bottom. :| Oy.

#IBelongHere

Hugs, Stung! When I left my XAH, my true 'crazy' nature became so much more evident. That's why OUR recovery is so very important to us just as much as our qualifiers must find their own recoveries, as well.

It really was a huge reminder to me that I'm just as flawed as the addict in my life and that I need to really look within to fix me. Forget about fixing him. I was even more broken than he was. Yet, as sobering as that fact was, I knew I wasn't alone. I had program and friends and people here at SR.

Wishing you well and lots of hugs and support to you tonight, too.

Stung......self-awareness is the first step, isn't it...? ...lol...
So.....looking from it from that perspective....it is progress......
progress; not perfection.......

dandylion

Yes it takes two to tango. Took me a long time to do the work and realize how sick I had become as well.

Just wanted to say hi miss seeing you here.

Qualifier being husband or....mom? Who?

Telling someone to be less calm....I think I am guilty of that once or twice :(

Well, you've had years to build that crazy up Stung
how many years were you the only truthful, sensible voice in the room?

Recognize it, but don't feel too bad--conditioning is hard to overcome

Yep-we own our crazy...self acceptance and self truts are hard to see and take in sometimes-well, usually always. One step at a time to get off the crazy train :)

I so get this! The older I get the more I love people who own up to their own crap!!

:scoregood

Thanks Stung. My own crazy, messed-up self has brought me one heck of a lot of humility!!

Easy there Stung.

You have went through a lot of ups and downs, it's pretty normal to have some rough times yourself.

Many, many hugs!

Oh wow ouch...I'm sorry Stung...actually I'm feeling the same exact crazy. RAH has been home from rehab for 4 weeks - sober for almost 90 days. He's lost 30 lbs, works out, into his music, calm, sleeps well. I'm happy for him and know that there are adjustments for us both to make - but yes...I'm the 'active' crazy in the room too. It sucks and hurts but there is value in being able to see it, know it, feel it.

I've acknowledged it to him and am working on my stuff with alanon and self awareness. Hoping that with time and knowledge it gets easier!