Praying, one thing you need to remember is that my savings is my spousal support prepaid for the next 3 years. It's not just 6 months of living expenses tucked away. The intent of the money I received from my XAH was for me to get back on my feet in a career. The way I see it, I have 2 years to work at being fully self supporting, minimum.

For now, I can focus on creating good spending habits in the future. I can start doing things that set me on the right path of spending appropriately and paying down debt.

I am trying NOT to focus on the negative here, lol. I need to believe in myself!

So, a friend who works for a financial advisory firm told me her firm was looking for an entry level client services person. I had a phone interview this AM and things went well. I have a face to face next week.

The problem: the job barely pays more than what I make now and it doesn't have health insurance. but, they want to hire someone who's interested in getting their series 7 and 63 for licensing and career development in the future.

The good: The job would be 20 minutes away instead of 45-50 minutes away. It's in the same field that I was in years ago and I know I enjoy it. There seems to be some interest in NOT just hiring me as a clerical position and a chance for increasing my salary.

The question is: how much increase in salary and exactly what are they thinking for the future? Obviously, I won't know until I sit down with this woman and find out more, right?

My boyfriend still thinks I'd be selling myself short. He thinks I should just find a company to hire me to get my licensing right out of the gate and just start as a financial advisor right away. what he doesn't understand is that I don't have as much confidence as he does. I haven't worked for 16 years. Maybe I'm not ready for a 100K a year job commitment and time requirement? I don't know, but I feel uncomfortable biting off more than I can chew. I'm feeling very unsure of myself, my abilities, and what I want to do with my life.

I've only been working for 6 months after those 16 years of homeschooling and child rearing. I keep thinking that I can do 2 years of entry level type work and just get that work experience under my belt BEFORE I move on to something bigger. Maybe he's right? Maybe I should just go big? But, something feels wrong with that idea and I'm not sure what it is. I hate to say that it's fear, but I'm sure that's part of it.

So confused. I want to be self sufficient, yet I don't have the guts to go out and just do it...whatever that may be.