wanttobehealthy

I have told xAH I will ONLY communicate in writing about the kids. There is nothing to be gained by talking to him for me...

So, tonight I got an email with a heading "weekend issue". Assuming it was about the kids, I opened it.

This is just a portion of the message. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I should preface this by saying that the SECOND the judge finalized this divorce for the 3rd and final time, I have not interacted with xAH at all.

I do not intend to change that... But I mean, this is a whole new level of Crazeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

So, this is the message (complete with the grammar insanity that makes me crazy)-- I inserted the paragraphs to make it more readable...

And of course I changed my name from the real name to WTBH...

"Dear WTBH,

I will spend ever moment the rest of my life wondering why u are so incabpable of compassion and empathy. I gave you the girls and you try to keep them from me every chance u get. Without me u would not have anyone, no kids, no other man, you would be a dried up prune.

U are cold, uncaring, calculating and u have me over a barrell. U know it is hard for me to make the trip down to **** he girls and u could make the schedule work for me but instead u fill up their time wth playdatese and b.s. sleepvers just 2 keep me from them. I love those girls and they miss me.

I think u want me to give up all my time with the girls and maybe i will. Do u want that?

I am left with nothing because of u and now u have taken away my girls.

WTBH u know u are not a physically attractve girl anymore like u once were, u aer wrinkled and sad and old but u could be pretty if u just acted kind. Try it.

I cry at nite missing the girls and sometimes even u if u can believe it. I hope u get mental treatment for ur psychoatric issues before u make the girls into mini WTBH's"

Hangnbyathread

This isn't a quack. It's an addict trying to bait you into a confrontation.

wanttobehealthy

Hmmm, I read it, shook my head, felt sorry for him and that was that...

But not so long ago I would have FOR SURE gotten into it with him about how he was wrong about me...

Generally I find that whatever he accuses me of is a good read of how he feels about himself.

suki44883

God...what a pig! He knows he can't do anything else through the courts regarding the divorce; but, at the same time, he can't let you feel like you've won anything. It's all a matter of pride and ego for him.

He is pitiful and grasping at anything he can touch to keep from drowning in the chit hole he created. As much hell as he put you through over the past couple of years, he still isn't satisfied. He has to try to make you feel unlovable and unworthy of anyone's attention. He's a pig.

Pffftt...

HHTexas

Sounds like he feels really crappy about himself so now he wants to bait you to argue and prove how horrible you are. Woe is me. Quack quack.

Liveitwell

He's a d*ck, plain and simple. He feels that way about himself, btw-it's what addicts do-they project their feelings of themselves into others. Don't bite. Pray for him. How disgusting. Btdt.

Lilro

I enjoyed the dried up old prune line.....lol....WHATEVER! Ignore him.

Liveitwell

Friend-that reminds me of my ex and his mother - they both told me I was crazy and needed psychiatric help. His mom cursed me out telling me that her boy should be able to eat steak whenever he wants to, that I was a bad wife for encouraging her boy to exercise, that nobody cares about my fu**ing running, that nobody likes me, etc-it was an epic quack from the most dysfunctional depressed unhappy person-so be it. Hmmm. Interesting how things have turned out. Their actions have quite simply revealed their evil, enabling, special brand of mother son coddling and dysfunction. My ex tried to bait me all the time. Don't fall for it. He's just a sick soul looking for attention....and a fight. Just be glad you're not him. Seriously.

AnvilheadII

one word




DELETE

healthyagain

Yeah, delete, do not reply, and forget about it.

It is an attempt to suck you back into whatever. Mine ex a few days ago sent me an invite to join his linkedin network . . . of one person . . . that is him. I guess he is not eloquent enough to write anything meaningful anymore. I'll ignore it and never mention it.

Quacks tends to be funny, and what you got is pure bs.

redatlanta

Oh you need to get an alcoholic decoder when you read these kinds of things I have one. I decoded it for you.

"Dear WTBH,

I will spend ever moment the rest of my life wondering why u are so incabpable of compassion and empathy. My alcoholism didn't have any affect on our marriage I gave you the girls and you try to keep them from me every chance u get. I am drunk and often miss my time with the girls and think you don't know Without me u would not have anyone, no kids, no other man, you would be a dried up prune. I'm wondering if you are sleeping with someone else and hoping you will let me know

U are cold, uncaring, calculating and u have me over a barrel. Nothing is my fault U know it is hard for me to make the trip down to **** he girls and u could make the schedule work for me but instead u fill up their time wth playdatese and b.s. sleepvers just 2 keep me from them. Did you notice I called you a ***** ??? LOL I love those girls and they miss me. I'm pretty sure they can't stand me

I think u want me to give up all my time with the girls and maybe i will. Do u want that? I prefer to see them when I feel like it. You will be blamed when I don't show in the future.

I am left with nothing because of u and now u have taken away my girls. I'm not responsible for anything that has happened

WTBH u know u are not a physically attractve girl anymore like u once were Still trying to find out if you are dating , u aer wrinkled and sad and old but u could be pretty if u just acted kind . Try it. At some point in the near future you will have reason to take me back to Court have pity on me.

I cry at nite missing the girls and sometimes even u if u can believe it Not really but i thought I needed to throw it in.. I hope u get mental treatment for ur psychoatric issues before u make the girls into mini WTBH's" I hope you will take the bait and write me a lengthy response

He sounds mentally disabled.

maia1234

When he sobers up, he won't even remember writing it. If it didn't come from him, he would probably say that he didn't write it.

Try and have some compassion for him, he is sick. Someone on the A forum told me when I am bothered by my XAH to pray for them, they need it and it lessons our anger we feel for them.

Hugs my friend and press DELETE, like Anvil said!!

Liveitwell

Red-your decoder is fabulous. Love it!

theuncertainty

That'd be sad and pathetic, if it wasn't so bizarre. I'm so glad you're away from him, WTBH.

The spelling and sentence structure is how I can tell when I'm 'talking' with who ever is AXH's current GF instead of AXH in emails about DS: when it's really him, there are never any paragraphs or sentences.

Praying

Even the TITLE of the email sounded like my X...

So I'm wondering, what exactly was the weekend issue? Or did he get lost in his hate mail?

The decoder is perfect!

Hawkeye13

I agree Red--you could be a professional quack decoder
Fine work.

I agree with others--delete, don't respond,
and remember narcisstic people hate being ignored.
And now you can, except for children's issues.
You did it.

What a jerk

redatlanta

Don't delete it. Print it off and put it in your file. I am hoping he gets his crap together and leaves you alone, but history has shown that's not how how he rolls. At some point you may need or want an RO, and this certainly shows a clear picture of what you dealing with.

After that just move it to a folder on your computer so you don't have to see it.

wanttobehealthy

I definitely won't delete it bc it's a good record of his crazy... But I both pitied him and laughed at this when I read it-- if he was hoping for a reaction, he is not getting one... And there was nothing in the email about the weekend-- the subject line was just a way to ensure I would open it I guess...

I LOVE your decoder Red... I have my own decoding system for his craziness in my mind too that I interject when I read his stuff...

Here is my take...

"Dear WTBH,

I will spend ever moment the rest of my life I am drinking/angry and being melodramatic wondering why u are so incabpable of compassion and empathy This is a description of me, but I project all of what I hate about myself onto you. I gave you the girls They are objects to me, remember that always and you try to keep them from me every chance u getit is easier for me to blame you than own the fact I have chosen to abandon them. Without me u would not have anyone, no kids, no other man, you would be a dried up pruneI hope if I throw juvenile insults at you, you'll reply because I need a distraction from my own miserable thoughts... did it work?.

U are cold, uncaring, calculatingI am projecting and u have me over a barrell. U know it is hard for me to make the trip down to **** he girls and u could make the schedule work for me I have nothing to do each weekend but I prefer to not see my kids because I have to show you I am sober to see them so instead I stay away and play victim over my own choice to not see thembut instead u fill up their time wth playdatese and b.s. sleepvers just 2 keep me from themallowing the kids to have lives that kids have is unreasonable WTBH... how dare you allow them to have happy childhoods. I love those girls and they miss meI want them to tell they miss me-- they don't probably and I prefer to blame you for that than change my own behavior and be a Dad to them.

I think u want me to give up all my time with the girls and maybe i willI am playing victim to elicit a response-- is it working yet?>. Do u want that?

I am left with nothing because of uI really believe this-- I can not take responsibility for my own choices and now u have taken away my girlsthey are objects to me-- see how I keep saying MY... they are "mine".

WTBH u know u are not a physically attractve girl anymore like u once wereI think if I say this you will feel sad and feel bad about yourself as I do about myself, u aer wrinkled and sad and old but u could be pretty if u just acted kindI feel crummy about myself, so I will keep insulting you. Try it.

I cry at nite missing the girls doubtfuland sometimes even u if u can believe itI miss being coddled and enabled by you. I hope u get mental treatment for ur psychoatric issues My mom and I still think, all these years later, that if we keep throwing this at you, it will stick... I can't own that I have mental health issues and need help so I will project that onto youbefore u make the girls into mini WTBH's"The girls are setting boundaries with me too and I resent them and you for it

Lilro

Thanks Red for the decoder response.... I'm dying!! Lmao!!

Hawkeye13

Wow WTBH--you have an outstanding translation as well.

Sounds like you've got the jerk's number down pat.

The subtext says to me he's not going to be keeping his visitation for exactly
the reasons you translated.
How nice for you and the girls.

I'd have some fun plans prepped and ready to pull out when he fails to show.
What do you think?