Love vs. Alcohol

Old 01-20-2016, 08:24 AM
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Love vs. Alcohol

Hi, I'm new here. I've never been addicted to alcohol or drugs, and I can't even imagine how difficult it must be, but I have lost love and hope and parts of myself from loving others who have suffered. I've been trolling this page for a while for support while loving an alcoholic, and after a rough night last night I wrote this and wanted to share. Please know I'm not judging anyone at all, just giving a perspective from a loved one who would do absolutely anything to help. I wish love was enough. If love was enough, there would be no need for this page. I hope this can maybe help someone get a feel for what it is like to be on the other side of an alcoholic..
Alcohol is a thief. When you drink too much regularly, you are inviting this worthless liquid to enter your life and your loved one's lives. It has one goal: to suffocate any love, hope and joy there once was. .
Love is patient
Alcohol is demanding
Love is kind
Alcohol is extreme and mean
Love does not envy, or boast, is not proud
Alcohol takes away all kindness and humility
Love does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking
Alcohol dishonors everyone, is self-serving
Love is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs
Alcohol is fierce and will quickly lead to a record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth
Alcohol is evil and a liar, delights in robbing everything good from your life and those who love you
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres
Alcohol always neglects, always creates doubt with lies, creates hopelessness, and destroys every good thing in its path
Love never fails
Alcohol never fails either
Choose Love <3
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:37 AM
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I'm crying reading this. It is so accurate. If love was enough my ex would have gotten better years ago, but love doesn't fix. I choose love, too, not hate. But I do hate what alcohol has done. I will always hate that.
Thank you for sharing-please keep coming back-there is no better place to be when you love an alcoholic.
Peace to you, friend.
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:47 AM
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Thank you, Forourgirls. I'm sorry my post made you cry, and I'm sorry you are going through loving an alcoholic and the despair that comes with doing so. I hope you know how important you are! I know alcohol has an evil way of making us feel we must not be good enough that a loved one chooses a drink over us, but that is all a lie. I'm glad you choose love, and I wish you peace also.
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:51 AM
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My addiction destroyed my relationship with the woman I love. I wish I had started this road sooner. And I wish she were willing to be here for me now.
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:03 AM
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I'm sorry Thumpalumpacus. That is kind of where I am now- waiting to see what he's going to do if anything, and deciding if I should stay or leave. Both choices are scary. I'm happy to hear you are working on getting your life back. I bet the woman you loved went through a lot of torment when she finally decided to walk away. It isn't an easy choice for us either. I hate alcohol so much! I wish you peace and happiness and to once again find love one day.
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:55 AM
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Very nice! Thanks for sharing.
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Old 01-20-2016, 10:11 AM
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Originally Posted by imjules View Post
I'm sorry Thumpalumpacus. That is kind of where I am now- waiting to see what he's going to do if anything, and deciding if I should stay or leave. Both choices are scary. I'm happy to hear you are working on getting your life back. I bet the woman you loved went through a lot of torment when she finally decided to walk away. It isn't an easy choice for us either. I hate alcohol so much! I wish you peace and happiness and to once again find love one day.
I know I gave her hell, and it's her love and patience that has helped me see my addiction for what it is.

What hurt me is that just as I committed to entering recovery and fixing myself for good, she withdrew from me, and that's something I don't understand. (That's one reason why I'm reading in this part of the forum -- I need to understand how my actions affected her).

Thanks for the well-wishes, and know that they're returned.
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Old 01-20-2016, 11:03 AM
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I'm sorry you're hurting, I completely understand that feeling. Keep journaling like this, it helps SO much.

I eventually came to see that it isn't an Either/Or choice between love & alcohol. As hard as it was to understand, his choosing alcohol wasn't an active decision to turn away from love. Just like MY setting & enforcing boundaries wasn't an act against the love I had for him.

I had exhausted myself with efforts that he never even recognized because we were speaking different languages, were focused on entirely different things & locked in our own cycles. I posted about it once after ah AHA discussion with RAH:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nt-enough.html
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Old 01-21-2016, 01:40 AM
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So glad you posted imjules. I really needed to read this.

I go around in circles so much thinking but how could he have been so great and now this?!? How can you just walk away from all the love and amazing times we had together?!? Sometimes it is as simple as reminding myself "because he is an alcoholic" is the answer to most of these questions. I HATE what alcohol did to my relationship.
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