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I wish I had read this years and years ago!

Old 01-16-2016, 08:58 AM
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I wish I had read this years and years ago!

The woman in charge of this blog just rocks-she divirced her addict husband but humbly admitted her wrongdoings....it's an amazing read and one tht resonates with me, and I'm sure many of yall. Cheers !

Elisabeth Klein Do Not Try to Win Your Husband Back - Elisabeth Klein

Have a great Saturday!
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:32 AM
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Thanks for passing this along. We do our own inventory and admit wrongs in order to let go of resentment and have peace of mind.
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Old 01-16-2016, 11:58 AM
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That was a great post. Thank you for sharing it - it really helped my head today.
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Old 01-16-2016, 01:18 PM
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Wow great read thanks
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Old 01-16-2016, 01:41 PM
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I remember being directed to this same blog some time ago by a different member and finding it helpful at that time also, even tho I myself don't come at things from a Christian perspective, necessarily. This part was what resonated w/me:

And the second reason I don’t think any of my efforts to save my marriage single-handedly worked in the least is that – and I say this with all humility – I wasn’t the one actively taking down our marriage. Yes, I was a mess, and yes, I was not a good wife, and yes, I had a huge part in our downfall, and I own that. But I wasn’t the one not engaged; I wasn’t the ending-party. I was in counseling and reading every book out there and asking for advice.

It has taken me some time to understand that difference. At first, like many of us, I saw myself as the "good" partner and accepted no responsibility for the state of things. HE was the drunk and the liar!

As time went on, I began to see how it was possible for me to say "no, NOTHING I have done or not done, said or not said, has caused him to drink and to lie to and steal from me. However, I AM responsible for how I've reacted to those things and other problems in our marriage and in my own individual life." And those reactions certainly made things worse, for us as a couple and for me as an individual.

It IS an important distinction!
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Old 01-16-2016, 02:05 PM
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Fog,
What a great read.... The last paragraph hit home with me. I just had a light bulb moment reading this....

You cannot win your unfaithful or abusive or addictive husband back by... "doing things for him". I always thought I was helping, but by doing things for him made me resentful. He used me by me doing things for him. I guess I felt I could save the marriage by being nice and by doing things for him, as no one else would be nice and do things for him.


Thanks for sharing this. wow!! You don’t need to…because it’s not your job. wow
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Old 01-16-2016, 04:29 PM
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^ yes-hp and maja-totally agree-those specific parts resonated with me too!
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Old 01-16-2016, 05:43 PM
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Must get her book!
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