findingme26

Listening to Adele's new album (an exercise in self-torture, right now, I'm afraid) and I had to laugh a little at this "romantic" song. Everything looks a little difference through the lens of a recovery!

So what do you think? Romantic, or unhealthily co-dependent?



"Remedy"

I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be
So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breath
Right before my eyes I saw, my heart it came to life
This ain't easy it's not meant to be
Every story has it's scars

When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see
That I will be, I will be your remedy

No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you
Come whatever I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through
Your love, it is my truth
And I will always love you
Love you

When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see
That I will be, I will be your remedy

When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
I will be, I will be
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see
That I will be, I will be, I will be...
Your Remedy

Liveitwell

Lord-I look at everything differently through recovered eyes. All the "I'll save you-you saved me" songs just make me nauseous now!! I was sooooo one of those people, too.

findingme26

Exactly. This part especially describes how I've always behaved in my relationship:

No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you
Come whatever I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through
Your love, it is my truth

Lilro

That's a beautiful song ( and I'm not a big Adele fan ).

I hope to someday be someone's " soft place to land " as I hope to have a man that I also have the same. I truly believe that is what love is all about. The giving and taking of two souls who truly love and respect each other without fail.
Unfortunately for most of us this was one sided in the end. How sad.

SeriousKarma

I haven't heard the song, so this was my first time hearing/reading the lyrics.

If someone where to ask me to analyze it, I would have guessed it was a faith based song. I don't know much about Adele. Not sure what her religious leanings are, but chances are the Godlike tone of the song is just a fluke. So, yeah, Co-depentent Anthem , alright.

So I guess "I Will Follow Him" must be the Stalker Anthem.

findingme26

Yes, if it's mutual, a soft place to land is a nice thought. But looking at it through the lens of co-dependency, being someone's "Remedy" is not the healthiest way to have a relationship. I've spent a lot of years trying to be the remedy and found that not only am I completely unable to be the fix for her, but I lose myself and get sucked into her sickness as well.

findingme26

Oh that's funny, I didn't even read it as "Godlike" but that's totally true! Trying to be someone's "Higher Power" is a completely co-dependent thing.

The rest of the album is really good, but full of heartbreak/breakup songs. So fair warning that listening to it when you're in a really emotional place could be either cathartic or devastating, depending on your mood.

Liveitwell

Exactly-my ex used to tell me all the time I was the best thing in his life and the person that kept him sane-I guess when I failed at that (gasp!) then he could also blame me for his deplorable actions-which he did-bc it was also my fault-I simultaneously made him good and bad! Who knew I was God! . And boy did I love thinking I could make him better. Sheesh-glad to be out of crazy town. (And little did I know that he told everyone the same thing-his mom, sister, friends-anyone he could use to enable him, he sang the same sweet words to of a victim in need of someone to make him better. I don't know how many people he's told that each one is the best part of him and his other half and they know him best-anyone he can use. Yuck.)
All jokes aside, if you look to a person to save you from yourself, you are doomed to fail bc you are making that person a God among men-and nobody can live up to those standards. Nowadays I hear the Codie anthems and I look at them from a faith perspective-Jesus, you saved me, I will do anything for you, etc. Not a man or other person!

Lilro

Seriouskarma....that cracks me up!!! Lmao...��I will follow him ��

Bekindalways

Interesting thread. Someone (can't remember who) said, "Reader/listeners bring the spice of their own experience to literature/songs. Yep, I do see the codependency in a lot of romantic songs.

I so, so love being the hero-savior; I've gotten to the point where I recognize it in myself and can laugh at the arrogance in this. I hadn't thought of the God element in quite the way you all discussed it but it is so true; I want to be God - irk!

Liveitwell

^ yep. And when we try to be God, we get in Gods way. Friends I too am guilty of thinking my ex could save me from myself-my childhood wounding. But I found out that I, ME, had to do the work. Fix myself and be honest about my shortcomings and learn new ways-and I did just that. Jesus became my main man-not that I didn't love my husband-bc boy did I-but Jesus saved me-and I too had put too much pressure on my husband to fix what wasn't his to fix-just as he had done to me. My side of the street and all that yuck-Codie songs. Just yuck.

SeriousKarma

Adele is the reigning queen of torch singers. If anyone can be forgiven a cody slip up it's her. I remember sitting in a coffee shop once when Someone Like You started playing. Suddenly the funniest thing happened... Myself, and everyone else in the place stopped what they were doing and just started staring into space with expressions of melancholia. Song stopped and everyone went back to what they were doing. Gotta love Adele.