AnonWife

Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. Great insite and personal experiences shared.

A couple points hit home. The future, balancing hope with reality, realizing even though I chose to leave my career and be stay at home mom - I should have kept a toe in there and maintained more of those relationships. I did feel like we had less in common because many were single or without kids. But now I wonder how many have a child? But nothing I can do about that now. I think trying to look up a few past coworkers is in order.

I spent the last couple days going over our finaces. We are lucky so far financially because my husbands pills (addiction) are coverd by insurance (sad isnt it) and his alcohol isnt making any significent dent. Not yet at least. bUT any accident or DUI could happen right
? But it felt good to lool at all these things and see where we are financially.

Id suggest everyone do this.

He asked what I was up to and I told him. He got involved in it somewhat. Then he got stressed and got a.drink sat back down to continue on.

Those moments are hard because I weigh what to do. I did nothing, because he wasnt high on pills and I hoped he would limit the drinks. He did while we were working, but what I saw again was how he is turning to either the pills or drink because inside he becomes stressed. He drank more after we talked of the future and got into some discussion on what we should do with certain investments. The stress is definetly a trigger for him,
But I felt better doing it.

Next up is I need to review the Trust we have set up.

Refiner

Always good to keep up to date on what is where, what you're worth, and what your goals are - good for you! I'm curious about this, though... did you actually tell him WHY you are looking at the finances? That you're worried he will implode one day?

AnonWife

I told him it was a New Year and I wanted to make sure we have our house in order. He also lnows I made a commitment to begin making positive changes for myself. Such as a little more time doing adult activities like yoga and feeling its ok to have a life develop outside my mommy role. And during the review Yes and No. I didnt call him out because this is not what it was about. But I did express concern over both of our health status and yes I did say I was worried about his PTSD/other and stated clearly I felt his health issues were not stable andits a concern. He just looked at me and.nodded, no argument. We continued on. There is not a lot to say, we both know he isnt stable in his health.