lillamy

One of the most freeing things anyone said to me was "you are under no obligation to forgive a person who has hurt you." It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders because among all the other things I was supposed to do and had failed at, I also was supposed to forgive my ex, and it was something I simply didn't want to deal with because forgiving meant remembering and remembering was anxiety-inducing. I don't particularly know what "forgiveness" looks like, but for now, I see it as "not seeking revenge but leaving him alone."

Refiner

I think that is fair. We are not One Size Fits All. I think "foregiveness" is more about forgiving yourself that you put up with all the crap of someone else and releasing yourself of NEVER having to be affected by that person again in your lifetime.