April 19
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Accepting Change

The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places - time to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath.

But change is inevitable and desirable.

Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, we're not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain we'll be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible we're being prepared for a new normal?

Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where we're going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where the changes are leading.

We can trust that the change taking place is good. The wind will take us where we need to go.

Higher Power, help me today to let go of my resistance to change. Help me be open to the process. Help me believe that the place I'll be dropped off will be better than the place where I was picked up. Help me surrender, trust, and accept, even if I don't understand.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

Auntie Em, it's a twister!!
http://s18.postimg.org/7ka7lzb95/hqdefault.jpg

Welp this made me tear up. The last few years have brought a lot of changes for me. Some of them are amazing, and some of them just are. Because of it all, I feel more fearless than I ever have in life and that bottom line is a GREAT thing for me. Thanks HP! These always come as you need them, I swear.

April 20
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Deadlines

I don't know whether I want in or out of this relationship. I've been struggling with it for months now. It's not appropriate to let it hang indefinitely. I will give myself two months to make a decision.
--Anonymous

Sometimes it helps to set a deadline.

This can be true when we face unsolved problems, are struggling with a tough decision, have been sitting on the fence for a while, or have been floundering in confusion about a particular issue for a time.

That does not mean a deadline is written in stone. It means that we are establishing a time frame to help ourselves not feel so helpless and to help bring a solution into focus. Setting deadlines can free our energy to set the problem or issue aside, to let go, and allow the Universe, our Higher Power, and ourselves to begin to move toward a solution.

We don't always need to tell people we've got a deadline. Sometimes it's better to be silent, or else they may feel we are trying to control them and may rebel against our deadline. Sometimes it is appropriate to share our deadlines with others.

Deadlines are primarily a tool to help ourselves. They need to be reasonable and appropriate to each individual situation. Used properly, deadlines can be a beneficial tool to help us get through difficult problems and situations without feeling trapped and helpless. They can help us let go of worrying and obsessing, so we can focus our energies in more constructive directions. Setting a deadline can help move us out of that uncomfortable spot of feeling victimized by a person or a problem we can't solve.

Deadlines can help us detach and move forward.

Today I will consider whether a deadline might be helpful in some areas in my life. I claim Divine Wisdom and Guidance in setting appropriate deadlines for any problems or relationship issues that may be lingering.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

http://s31.postimg.org/uemx0ly6z/rob...tress_2009.jpg

April 21
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Waiting

Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait.

We may feel a sense of urgency. We may want to resolve the issue by doing something - anything now, but that action is not in our best interest.

Living with confusion or unsolved problems is difficult. It is easier to resolve things. But making a decision too soon, doing something before it's time, means we may have to go back and redo it.

If the time is not right, wait. If the way is not clear, do not plunge forward. If the answer or decision feels muddy, wait.

In this new way of life, there is a Guiding Force. We do not ever have to move too soon or move out of harmony. Waiting is an action - a positive, forceful action.

Often waiting is a Higher Power-guided action, one with as much power as a decision, and more power than an urgent, ill-timed decision.

We do not have to pressure ourselves by insisting that we do or know something before it's time. When it is time, we will know. We will move into that time naturally and harmoniously. We will have peace and consistency. We will feel empowered in a way we do not feel today.

Deal with the panic, the urgency, and the fear; do not let them control or dictate decisions.

Waiting isn't easy. It isn't fun. But waiting is often necessary to get what we want. It is not dead time; it is not downtime. The answer will come. The power will come. The time will come. And it will be right.

Today I will wait, if waiting is the action I need in order to take care of myself. I will know that I am taking a positive, forceful action by waiting until the time is right. Higher Power, help me let go of my fear, urgency, and panic. Help me learn the art of waiting until the time is right. Help me learn timing.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

http://s31.postimg.org/5g5y9g9vf/wpi..._jpg_w_810.jpg

I have to laugh, b/c yesterday's post was "deadlines" and today's is "waiting"...if only I was better at knowing when to do which!

I'm definitely better at waiting than I am at deadlines, that's for sure. :) :hug:

April 22
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Coping With Stress

Inevitably, there are times of stress in our lives, no matter how long we've been in recovery.

Sometimes the stress is outside or around us. We're feeling balanced, but our circumstances are stressful. Sometimes the stress is within; we feel out of balance.

When the stress is external and internal, we experience our most difficult times.

During stressful times, we can rely more heavily on our support systems. Our friends and groups can help us feel more balanced and peaceful in spite of our stressful conditions.

Affirming that the events taking place are a temporarily uncomfortable part of a good, solid plan can help. We can assure ourselves that we will get through. We won't be destroyed. We won't crumple or go under.

It helps to go back to the basics to focus on detachment, dealing with feelings, and taking life one day at a time.

Our most important focus during times of stress is taking care of ourselves. We are better able to cope with the most irregular circumstances; we are better able to be there for others, if we're caring for ourselves. We can ask ourselves regularly: What do we need to do to take care of ourselves? What might help us feel better or more comfortable?

Self-care may not come as easily during times of stress. Self-neglect may feel more comfortable. But taking care of us always works.

Today I will remember that there is no situation that can't be benefited by taking care of myself.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

http://s31.postimg.org/6dahv0zej/b49...5c2a3872b1.jpg

Yes! Me too.

April 23
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Opening Ourselves to Love

Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.

Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given or withheld to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give.

At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn't? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves?

We will learn. The starting point is surrendering to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love.

We may need to get angry first - angry that our needs have not been met. Later we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don't want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us.

We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us.

Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way.

Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.

Today I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

http://s31.postimg.org/3n95jphjf/NEW..._In_Heaven.jpg

Hi, friends and neighbors--I'm going to be posting the readings for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday today b/c I'm out of town on those days. I'll be back and posting 1 reading per day starting Wednesday again.

April 24
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Lessons on the Job

Often the spiritual and recovery lessons we're learning at work reflect the lessons we're learning in other areas of our life.

Often the systems we're attracted to in our working life are similar to the systems in which we find ourselves living and loving. Those are the systems that reflect our issues and can help us learn our lessons.

Are we slowly learning to trust ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning to take care of ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning boundaries and self-esteem, overcoming fear, and dealing with feelings?

If we search back over our work history, we will probably see that it is a mirror of our issues, our growth. It most likely is now too.

For today, we can believe that we are right where we need to be - at home and at work.

Today I will accept my present circumstances on the job. I will reflect on how what I am learning in my life applies to what I'm learning at work. If I don't know, I will surrender to the experience until that becomes clear. Higher Power, help me accept the work I have been given to do today. Help me be open to and learn what I need to be learning. Help me trust that it can and will be good.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

http://s31.postimg.org/7nr37xjkb/Gre..._10600_417.jpg

Here's a link to a site I found useful, particularly this page:

The Workplace Laundry List

I found this list quite some time ago, and I went down the list going "check...check...check..." one after another! Now I am happy to say that I'm not checking off EVERY listing, so I guess that's progress.

April 25
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Finding Our Own Truth

We must each discover our own truth.

It does not help us if those we love find their truth. They cannot give it to us. It does not help if someone we love knows a particular truth in our life. We must discover our truth for ourselves.

We must each discover and stand in our own light.

We often need to struggle, fail, and be confused and frustrated. That's how we break through our struggle; that's how we learn what is true and right for ourselves.

We can share information with others. Others can tell us what may predictably happen if we pursue a particular course. But it will not mean anything until we integrate the message and it becomes our truth, our discovery, and our knowledge.

There is no easy way to break through and find our truth.

But we can and will, if we want to.

We may want to make it easier. We may nervously run to friends, asking them to give us their truth or make our discovery easier. They cannot. Light will shed itself in its own time.

Each of us has our own share of truth, waiting to reveal itself to us. Each of us has our own share of the light, waiting for us to stand in it, to claim it as ours.

Encouragement helps. Support helps. A firm belief that each person has truth available - appropriate to each situation - is what will help.

Each experience, each frustration, each situation, has its own truth waiting to be revealed. Don't give up until you find it - for yourself.

We shall be guided into truth if we are seeking it. We are not alone.

Today I will search for my own truth, and I will allow others to do the same. I will place value on my vision and the vision of others. We are each on the journey, making our own discoveries - the ones that are right for us today.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

http://s31.postimg.org/x1je9szt7/Boy...ephant_852.jpg

That's so very nice of you, honeypig.

Thank you! :hug:

April 26
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Negativity

Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns.

Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if we're struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide it's okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves.

We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.

Today, Higher Power, help me to know that I don't have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity - even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know it's okay to take care of myself.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

http://s31.postimg.org/jl6di6bt7/736...4e9b46a31f.jpg

Thank you from me too dearest honey. :)
And wishing you a good trip. :hug: ♥

Thank you!
Have a nice trip!

April 27
 

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Letting Go of the Need to Control

The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self-enhancing, energizing ways, and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems.
--Codependent No More

Letting go of our need to control can set others and us free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us.

If we weren't trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently?

What would we do that we're not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say?

What decisions would we make?

What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes?

If we weren't trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control another person's behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now?

What haven't we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we've been doing that we'd stop?

How would we treat ourselves differently?

Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better?

If we weren't trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, and then do it.

Today I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren't trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. Higher Power, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set others and myself free.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

http://s32.postimg.org/kgl12elmd/Rel...rol_to_God.jpg

Welcome back honey. We missed you. :) :hug: ♥

I'm glad to be back, venuscat. My mom had eye surgery last Thursday, and one of my sisters spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday w/her. I drove up early Sunday and stayed thru Tuesday. She says she can see much better out of that eye already, and at her checkup on Monday, the doc said things were healing "perfectly." I hope all continues to go smoothly for her.