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I engaged with XAH

Old 12-29-2015, 09:51 PM
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I engaged with XAH

UGH.... I know, I know... we all are human, we make mistakes but it's been 6 months since my divorce and I was doing so good with NOT engaging with my XAH's baited statements and crazy making stuff that he would send me via email....even when it was complete insanity and I had every right to step in and tell him to go pound sand.

Tonight, I took his bait. I engaged. I knew he was baiting me but I took the bait anyway and responded in a retaliatory way. I know it was wrong. I know it was just hurting me. So freaking hard to just let his crap go, you know? He provokes for months on end and I just hit a wall where I just can't take it anymore and I blow and I respond. Thankfully he can't stand the sight of me and all our communication is electronic but I can't wait for high school tennis to start. Apparently, he's going to be coaching the team part time and I intend to make every match that I can after work. He's already telling our son how I am not allowed to show up at matches.

HAHA, maybe he can get a restraining order against a mentally SANE me? UGH...I'm just frustrated and needed to vent. Work has been stressful with end of year and a boss who thinks everyone below him is, well.....below him. And the last thing I need is to deal with Mr Insanity right now, you know?
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Old 12-29-2015, 10:10 PM
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Liz.....it is horribly frustrating when someone just won't give up.....
I wouldn't spend more than five minutes reflecting on it, though.....

Haters gonna hate.

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Old 12-29-2015, 10:28 PM
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Holy crap when I first read the title of this thread I thought I read I'm engaged with XAH. (I am going to get new glasses this week.)

As far as engaging with the XAH, these things can happen. It's water under the bridge.

A good friend of mine shared this with me the other day, all I could do is chuckle and nod my head in agreement.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is understanding the other person is a complete idiot.

Happy New Year Liz!
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Old 12-30-2015, 05:36 AM
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Be sure to sit close to the court and take written "notes" during the matches.
That'll drive him nuts

don't let it get to you--you've come so far and he's still spinning
in his drunken dysfunctional mud trying to pass as normal
ain't happening
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Old 12-30-2015, 05:41 AM
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^^^^^^^^LOL.....lol.....Hawkeye, that is RICH. It is sooo true....that someone taking notes as they are observing you is totally unnerving!!!
I had forgotten this little factoid......

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Old 12-30-2015, 06:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
Be sure to sit close to the court and take written "notes" during the matches.
That'll drive him nuts

don't let it get to you--you've come so far and he's still spinning
in his drunken dysfunctional mud trying to pass as normal
ain't happening
Bwaahhha!!! Well he'll be coaching the kids but I can still pretend I'm writing stuff about HIM, lol.

He's currently fighting me over getting our ds a car. He had told our son for 10 years that his car would be his (son's) at 17. Now he's telling me I'll have to pitch in cash for a vehicle for ds, which is fine, but I'd rather our son get this car since we both know what repairs went into it and how hard it's been driven, etc. I just feel better about it but....oh well. I would offer to buy it from him but XAH seems hellbent on keeping his car with 150K miles on it for himself for whatever reason.

My name is still on that car, I wonder if XAH remembers that part??? I signed it over to him in the divorce decree but my name is still on the title.

and, yes, he's still spinning. The last 2 emails he claims I've made him into a monster and that I've poisoned our son against him..... and he thanked me for doing such a good job at that and then accused my Al Anon friends of poisoning him too. Ummm, no, dude, YOU did that yourself when your kid found you naked in your office chair speaking in German one night, or when he couldn't sleep because you were playing the drums at 2 AM for hours straight, or when he couldn't wake you up when you were on the toilet at 9:30 AM and were supposed to take him to school, or when you neglected (4 times so far) to come pick him up to take him to school or to an appointment. At some point the kid is going to think for himself. It doesn't take an idiot to figure out that dad's a mess right now.

And, the whole 'monster' word? WTF is that about? I would never refer to someone that way and have never used that term in reference to him. He's having the biggest pity party in the world and it's a damn shame that he thinks I wanted to be invited to it! NOT.

Ugh....well, off to work to deal with my narcissist accountant boss who thinks the sky is falling because it's the end of the year and we have to be ready for the implementation of the new software system, which apparently isn't going to go well since our new software supplier/support staff only have us half online right now....arrgghh!
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Old 12-30-2015, 07:19 AM
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I understand how hard it is. Many, many hugs to you.
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Old 12-31-2015, 04:47 PM
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Originally Posted by hopeful4 View Post
I understand how hard it is. Many, many hugs to you.
thank You! Happy New Year to you, friend!

I'm looking forward to a nice quiet night with the kids and the new man. Trying to remember that I've come a long way this past year and to just be patient with myself when I take a step or two backwards.

HUGS!
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