SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/)
-   Friends and Family of Alcoholics (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/)
-   -   Terrific DV documentary (possibly too intense for survivors) (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/381866-terrific-dv-documentary-possibly-too-intense-survivors.html)

LexieCat 12-29-2015 05:51 PM

Terrific DV documentary (possibly too intense for survivors)
 
This film has been around for a while. Originally titled "One Minute to Nine," it was screened by HBO under the title, "Every F---ing Day of My Life."

It's the story of Wendy Maldonado, who pled guilty, along with her 17-year-old son, to killing her abusive husband as he slept. They quite literally did it to save her younger boys, 13 and 15, from the abuse he had inflicted on all of them for almost 20 years.

The documentary covers her last four days before she goes to prison (she was allowed to remain on bail pending sentence to care for her kids), and much of her back story is told in home videos and in conversations with family and friends who are supporting her as she prepares to go to prison. I've encountered only one DV case as brutal as hers, and the time span in my case involved "only" a couple of years of physical abuse (though the emotional/psychological/financial abuse spanned 25 years).

It's a very powerful film (only 65 minutes long), and might be too upsetting/triggering for some survivors (or others who have difficulty with emotionally intense movies).

Wendy is a VERY brave woman, and it's amazing to see how her spirit survived what was done to her and her kids for so long. She is due to be released in March (after serving ten years in prison--her son got five years), and someone has started a GoFundMe account for her "new home nest egg" to help her get settled upon her release. (I donated, and if you're so inclined it's going to a worthy cause.) I just got an email saying that a story about Wendy is in the new issue of People magazine, so if you'd rather read about her, you can do it there.

If you'd like to watch the movie, Part I is here on YouTube: Every F--ing Day of My Life. The other parts are available there, as well (four parts in all--about 65 minutes total).

If you can stand to watch (it's not especially gruesome, though there are a couple of crime scene photos, but it's emotionally intense), it is well worth seeing.

Wisconsin 12-29-2015 06:06 PM

I remember when this was originally in the news 10 years ago, and followed the story periodically since then. The whole story is so tragic, especially the part where she feels compelled to plead guilty to manslaughter to avoid a trial that could send her son to prison for life. Even the judge felt terrible having to sentence her to 10 years. The prosecutor, though...ugh. Declaring that she thinks Wendy "exaggerated" her abuse. And while she has been able to see her three youngest sons while incarcerated, she cannot see her oldest, because he is a convicted felon (due to his guilty plea) and they were co-perpetrators of their crime. The whole thing is just such a ridiculous miscarriage of justice.

She applied for clemency more than once; always denied. I am glad she will be released in March, and hope that she will be able to transition into her new life with as much ease as one can have in such a horrible situation.

LexieCat 12-29-2015 06:23 PM

Ugh is right, "exaggerated the abuse"--it's pretty darned clear that NOTHING was exaggerated. The videos of her husband make the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. The way he "plays" with the dead deer that he shot, the video of his "band" playing that creepy song about how he wants to murder her show exactly how sadistic this guy really was. In that sense, he reminds me of my defendant--he takes her right up to the point of ALMOST killing her, but stops short--seemingly just so he can continue to play with her.

I hope she gets some real joy and peace when she gets out. Somehow she managed to bring up some awfully nice kids in spite of it all. I hope Randy's doing well--he should be off any parole conditions, and she had to serve her time without parole, so hopefully they can spend as much time together as they want once she is out.

Wisconsin 12-29-2015 06:27 PM

I remember reading several years ago that upon his release, his parole restrictions prohibited him from moving away from the hometown where the whole nightmare happened, but that the restrictions were ending soon (back then). Hopefully he got the hell out of that town the very second he was able to.

amy55 12-29-2015 07:27 PM

I watched this, I watched this when it was going on. It has always upset me that me that kill their wives, it's called an act of passion or whatever the h3ll that is and they might get 2 years for killing their wife. But a wife that does this , is thought to be pre meditated. ( Is that for real?)

LexieCat 12-29-2015 07:31 PM

No, it was NOT thought to be premeditated. She pled guilty to manslaughter, not murder--exactly the same as a heat of passion killing most places. Technically, it may not have met the statutory definition of self-defense. Which, as the judge points out, does not mean that the law shouldn't be changed. If they had gone to trial, they might very well have been acquitted, but there was a risk they weren't willing to take. I can't say they were wrong.

I do think she should have been granted clemency. If it were my case, I would have fought for dismissal of the charges.

amy55 12-29-2015 07:57 PM

I'm sorry some of my words got jarbled up. I wasn't proof reading.

How many years did the son get?

I have to say that I thought about this case when I needed to leave my house. I left because I was no longer afraid that he would kill me, I didn't want to live anymore, I wanted t o die, I actually cursed cancer for not taking me . I was worried that I might kill him

amy

LexieCat 12-29-2015 08:46 PM

The son got six years with credit for time served, so he served five years after sentencing.

I found his FB page, he looks happy.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:22 AM.