hopeful4

I can say that you are going to be under a lot of stress because he is playing nice to get you to change your mind. Once you stick to your guns, expect him to be very mean, and say crap that is not even true or correct to your kids.

I would sit them down and speak to them.

Many, many hugs.

HHTexas

I had to give mine a deadline. Drunk/sober/sick or otherwise. He asked for 1 extra day, I allowed, and he miraculously left. He doesn't have family here either. For many years i pitied him. Nope, he's an adult. Doing just fine in a hotel.

Rachinator

I sure hope it goes better. Hugs

Hawkeye13

Have you set a date?
Have you talked to a lawyer about what you can legally do and start the process?
Obviously, he isn't going the easy way.
You want him out, you may have to get tough and lawyer up.

venuscat

Hi love. As you know, I'm not married, so I won't even begin to try to give you any advice.
But I've known you for a long time, and I know how hard it was to finally take this stand. I can only imagine how difficult it is when you have had the conversation, but your partner is still not listening.

Here for you L. ♥

LexieCat

If you wait until he AGREES that separation is a good idea he will be there forever.

Honestly, if I were you I'd consider just filing for divorce and seeking exclusive possession of the house pending litigation. If he has his moment of clarity and jumps into recovery you can always stop the process at any point.

Right now he still thinks he can manipulate his way out of this. And he'll continue to do that until you stop allowing him to do it.

I know it's hard, and the kids make it harder, but as noted above, uncertainty is the worst from their perspective, and dragging this out only prolongs the uncertainty.

AnonWife

Im new here and dont know all your history so if Im mentioning things already discussed I apologize. One statement you made was about what was lacking in the marriage for you, and what you felt was needed to try to repair things. But then you said you didnt follow through with discussing. I was curious if you've had those talks and he wouldnt agree to therapy and working on couple issues? Is his refusal what prompted the desire for separation? I for one feel its positive he saw his doctor because it was a positive action instead of some possible alternatives. I wont presume to read his mind but after 20 years and kids you would both be entitled to a pity party. You probably planned your asking him to move out, but if he didnt see it coming, logical it would be a shock. No advice, aasking for a separation is different than going straight to divorce. I hope things work out for benefit of your kids.