NedStark

I'm currently in a job I don't like. I feel the management use fear too often as a management tool. There's a lack of communication, and that I have too much pressure on top of everything I'm struggling to deal with at home. I have to be up in about 6 hours for work and I'm just too anxious to go to sleep and I'm dreading going in, as I took the week off last week due to 'personal reasons'.

Has anyone else been in a situation where their job just adds to the stress? How did you deal with it, did you stick it out or did you leave?

CodeJob

One of my first real jobs was at a nursing home. One of the really excellent nurses told me when she started losing sleep over work, felt a stone in her stomach driving to work and dreaded pulling into the driveway meant it was time to find a new job.

For me it's been more of a respect issue. When I don't respect who I work for, it's time to start looking. Poor management seems really endemic right now. I'm not sure there's a place free of it.

LexieCat

Well, the job might suck. OTOH, sounds like the biggest part of the stress you are feeling is due to your doing too much at home that ISN'T your job.

If you really feel the job isn't right for you, start looking for a new one. I suggest you NOT simply walk off without having something else in place. It's far easier to get hired when you're already employed than when you aren't. That's something my kids (who are a little older than you) had to learn when they went into the workforce.

Right now, when you are disengaging from some of the drama at home, is a perfect time to take your laptop to the local coffee shop and polish up your resume, as well as checking out online job listings. It's a perfect excuse to get out of the house for a bit.

I don't know what kind of work you do, but for some jobs, networking with others on LinkedIn or in person can result in job leads.

Thomas45

I think the solution is that you need to give up your post as Hand of the King before the job makes you lose your head. Of course the management uses fear, you're dealing with Lannisters for crying out loud.

Jobs don't have to be a permanent part of your life. There is nothing wrong with actively job hunting for a more enjoyable job while holding down one that you don't like. It's a rite of passage!

NedStark

Thanks guys, I've come into work today with a new outlook. I may hate it and things at home may be tough but if I let that fear take control it will rule my life. I need to make sure I'm always in control, not the other way round! I have a job interview next month that I can prepare for, I just need to remember I can stick this out for another couple of weeks! Thanks again!

Thomas45

Just be careful about telling Cersei that you know what's going on with her kids... I don't think that would end well for you.

NedStark

Don't be silly, what could possibly go wrong?

Berrybean

Sometimes I need to remind myself that if work was fun, I'd have to pay them to do it rather than the other way round. I also have to remind myself that how other people do their jobs (the managers for example) is not my business. Getting resentful about those things really doesn't help my situation, or my ability to focus, perform, and get MY work done.

If things get too much it helps me to write a list of MY tasks that I need to focus on; write them in priority order and work out how long I have / will need to get them complete. If there's not enough time to do them all in my working day then I speak to my supervisor and explain the situation and ask which they'd like me to focus on. Hand it over. That way there are no nasty surprises to explain if something doesn't get done - and this removes most of the fear for me. They might not like that everything they've given to me to do can't be done in the allotted hours, but it's the real world we live in and deal with, and actually they've always been more reasonable about it than I've expected or hoped they'd be. Most deadlines aren't set in stone and immovable. And if they truly are then most bosses would prefer to know that their employee is struggling to get things done than find out when it isn't done. I figured out that my over-riding fear was that they've find out I can't do everything they want me to do all the time (i.e. be a perfect employee in every way)- so once I've told them, that fear is removed, and a realistic perspective restored (for a while anyway). And most of the time it's a revelation to them what is on my To-Do pile, because each of them only sees / knows about the bits that they them-self gave me, and haven't appreciated the pressures coming in from others in the management team.

I know that where I work, if I get everything done, then they'll give me something else to do. If that gets done they'll give me something else. So, working late into the night to avoid work-load discussions really doesn't work, because I just ended up working later and later into the night and over the whole weekend to avoid being thought badly of, and meanwhile they'd be happily thinking that there is no problem at all. I had to learn to say "No" when asked to take on extra tasks. If asked why then I can show them my To-Do list and explain that it would be irresponsible for me to say I'd do it when I know that there will be no time to get it done. And if they're unreasonable and think badly of me for that, then it's something I'll just have to live with. You can't please all the people all of the time.

Good luck with your interview.

Eauchiche

I just started a new position a little over a week ago. The company I worked for was so awful, I considered it a trigger much worse than my qualifier.
I threw myself onto the mercy of my Higher Power, who I call God. He opened another door for me employment wise.
Without step 1, where I admit that life is unmanageable, I would have gone nuts. One AA speaker I heard on Youtube pointed out that life REMAINS unmanageable, even in sobriety, and we must trust our Higher Power.

NedStark

Well I've come home, had my dinner and I feel much better about going in and sticking it out. I had to take last week off due to things exploding at home. One of the directors of the company spoke to me about it, never asked me how I was or how things are etc. Just told me it's unacceptable and only cared about his documents.

I didn't let it bother me, I just realised I don't have to care. If that's how he sees me, then I see his company as something I should put minimum effort into as well.

But overall I feel good today. I feel like going in has helped give me the boost to show me I can get through these things. I'm going to the gym tonight for the first time in months. I'm not letting what is happening at home stop me from enjoying my life and getting where I want to go. No more letting it get the better of me!

Thanks for all your comments, I got the chance to read them during my shift, and they helped me out a lot!

Lord Eddard of house Stark.