Bekindalways

Purging and sleeping sounds like a great start to self-care.

I always have the urge to thank folks who are working on either sobriety or recovery from codependency. I really believe the most positive changes we make in the world are when we take care of the garbage in our own psyches.

So . . . . Thank you Findingme for taking on this so important and so difficult work.

BDG4488

FM, what a story! I wish you the best of luck. I cannot say enough good things about no contact. It really helped me grieve the relationship in peace without making an @ss of myself to my addict ex. It's not easy, but if you get through the process you'll find peace. When the break up first happened, I tried to do nice things for myself: a massage or a facial, a pleasant walk through nature, etc. I kept a no contact journal for the first few months after my breakup and cleaned my entire house.

I, too, was angry and my pride was hurt. I felt like a fool for not following my gut instincts, etc. But I'll know better next time and I don't beat myself up over it. There are lots of books on amazon and online about no contact. And, of course, this forum is the best. You can do this! Take care of yourself and your kids first.

Bekindalways

FM, I hope you are doing alright, taking care of yourself and the kids.

How are the meetings going?

findingme26

Thanks, Bekind, I'm doing okay. I haven't been able to get to a meeting since Wednesday but I'm reading and doing lots of thinking. Just trying to keep everything going for the kids, and keep us all peaceful. My 7 year old daughter is pretty sad and missing her other mom. AP has called a couple of nights so far to talk to the kids so that is helpful. I'm glad she's thinking about them, it shows that she is slowly coming out of the fog and looking outside herself. I might be able to take them to visit her for a bit next week. Whatever she's done and however unstable she may be, she's still their mom and they love her and need her in their lives as long as it's safe and healthy for them.

Our wonderful babysitter came over yesterday while I was at work to borrow our car for a bit. She surprised me by cleaning and organizing the kitchen, which was an embarrassing mess. It felt so nice to come home to a clean place, I am so thankful for her!

I still have plans to get some errands done this weekend and some more cleaning projects around the house. I'm feeling so much more in control of my life right now. It's such a nice feeling that I've really missed. I talked to my mom for a bit last night and she was happy to hear the stress gone from my voice.

Thanks again to everyone here who has listened to my venting, given me good advice (even if I wasn't ready to hear it yet!) and has helped keep me sane over these past few weeks. I so appreciate the support!

Hawkeye13

Glad to hear things are getting better--take care of yourself
and enjoy the peace in your home

Bekindalways

So good to hear from you FM. It does sound like you have some support network. Wonderful. Sending good thoughts to you and your family.