I saw this coming, but now what?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
I'm so sorry...
...please remember that your daughter is seeing and hearing everything both of you say and do. She, like you, knows he's full of ****. You know it. You know it. You know it.
She is also seeing what you are not doing, and what you are not saying. Doing nothing, IMHO, is doing something, and may be more dangerous than anything else.
Play her movie to the end-- what is she learning from him right now and, I would argue far more important, what is she learning from you? I say this as somebody who failed my young daughter by putting up with far too much ******** from my AW, and by putting my needs and AW's needs in front of my daughter's-- I'd hate to see you do the same.
The drama king, self-pitying BS part of me feels that I'll never be over the guilt and shame, and that I'll never be able to make it up to her-- 16 years and counting (she was four when it began). The reality is that I'm not over the guilt and shame right now-- maybe someday...
Cyranoak
She is also seeing what you are not doing, and what you are not saying. Doing nothing, IMHO, is doing something, and may be more dangerous than anything else.
Play her movie to the end-- what is she learning from him right now and, I would argue far more important, what is she learning from you? I say this as somebody who failed my young daughter by putting up with far too much ******** from my AW, and by putting my needs and AW's needs in front of my daughter's-- I'd hate to see you do the same.
The drama king, self-pitying BS part of me feels that I'll never be over the guilt and shame, and that I'll never be able to make it up to her-- 16 years and counting (she was four when it began). The reality is that I'm not over the guilt and shame right now-- maybe someday...
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by KidsR#1 
He was drinking again, but didn't deny it after I confronted him. Actually DD8 noticed the change in him today before I did. She saw in his eyes and heard in his voice that he was tired. Amazing what kids notice.
AH says he just drinks once in awhile, and never when he has to drive but I know from history where this will eventually lead. He showed me texts to his doctor where he told her he is struggling with the cravings and needed a refill on what ever she prescribed to help with the cravings. He says he is trying and doesn't understand why his sponsor, AA, all his friends, etc won't let him just have a beer once in awhile. I remember a similar conversation we had after his first relapse after his first rehab stay.
Just feeling so sad tonight.
AH says he just drinks once in awhile, and never when he has to drive but I know from history where this will eventually lead. He showed me texts to his doctor where he told her he is struggling with the cravings and needed a refill on what ever she prescribed to help with the cravings. He says he is trying and doesn't understand why his sponsor, AA, all his friends, etc won't let him just have a beer once in awhile. I remember a similar conversation we had after his first relapse after his first rehab stay.
Just feeling so sad tonight.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
You are right. I often think that I would never want her to go through the stuff I am feeling. She would deserve better.
Tomorrow is DS6 birthday. It will just be the 4 of us. I dread telling those close to me that he is drinking again.
While he slept I filled out another full time job application. Hopefully something will pan out. I do love my current job, but they can't offer me a full time position at this point.
Tomorrow is DS6 birthday. It will just be the 4 of us. I dread telling those close to me that he is drinking again.
While he slept I filled out another full time job application. Hopefully something will pan out. I do love my current job, but they can't offer me a full time position at this point.
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