dandylion

Bluehawaii.....it sounds like you are in over your head.
She will not get better as long as you are in the picture.
It is time to turn her over to the Universe. The Universe is much more powerful than you are.

As long as you hang on....things will continue to deteriorate.

You need to get the proper help from people who are experienced in this....
You are certainly not the first person to be in this situation....millions have....and, have worked their way out....

If you want to say married....you can....but, you don't have to live with him. And, you shouldn't be living with her....she will never get sober in the parental home.....nobody ever does.....

dandylion

Bluehawaii

Thank you all for responding! I am listening but I have this uncanny ability to forget how bad things are or have been when it stops for awhile.i have no idea what is wrong with me no one would have stayed through this. I kept thinking things would get better and they have in ways as my husband no longer drinks and my daughter use to be violent everyday of her life when I found a place for her last time. That was HELL! Again no support from husband in finding her a place that time and now she's back and breached the rule no drugs no partying no violence.... After hearing you speak about leaving and protective orders I thought it's not that bad and then reminded myself and looked at the pictures of the bite mark she left on my wrist 5 months ago when I called the police and she went to the drunk tank....
she swears and tells me off calls me names says I'm crazy and I'm an abusive mom for threatening she has to leave her home every time we go through this.
Yet I think it's not so bad as she never hit me for 5 months.
What the hell is wrong with me?!! I'm strong I'm capable of all kinds of things yet I allow this??? What the heck!!!!
This has gone on far too long and people would never believe the half of it.
No one has any idea what has happened in my family.
Everyone would be absolutely shocked if I left .... I don't know what I'm waiting for...
But I really think this time in the new year I will go looking at condos...
And put the house up for sale in the spring...
While My hubby keeps pretending all is well...being sweet to daughter while she now is talking to him but I'm still the bitch for saying she has to move out....
I can't believe this is my life....

LexieCat

Get the order and let the COURT tell her she has to move out.

Bluehawaii

I'm not strong enough to do that...there's no way Lexi
I will get her a place and move her stuff in...or leave...

LexieCat

Well, consider calling and talking to an advocate, at least. That's what they are there for--to help people who don't feel strong enough to go through with getting an order. Even if you decide not to get one, they can help you with staying safe, and provide you with all your options. You might change your mind in the future--it never EVER hurts to just get information, right?

Bluehawaii

Yes I never considered that and maybe that's some leverage to motivate her to leave on her own if she knows I could get one.
I have asked my husband to handle the situation as she is talking to him and not me.
We will see how that goes... ��