DesertEyes

That is exactly how I felt with my ex#1. Exactly. We had a wonderful marriage for 20 years where we both used to say that we were living in the "happily ever after" part of a fairy tale. Then she became very ill, got addicted to pain pills, and when she went into full remission she did not want to give up the pain pills.

You all know what happens next.

It took me a couple of years to get out of denial and realize that while she was addicted to pain pills, I was addicted to the fantasy of a marriage that no longer was. Even if my ex#1 were to give up the pills _and_ the behaviors I could never trust her _not_ to relapse and put me thru the whole mess all over again.

There's another fairy tale about an egg that falls off a wall. That is how I see my marriage to ex#1.

I went a couple years single, done with relationships, never to try again.

then I met a lovely woman who had 20+ years clean and sober in AA and whadya know? We had us our own fairy tale. Ok, so this one had a relapse and only lasted 5 years and became ex#2, but it was a _wonderful_ time and I have no regrets.

Of course, at the time of the breakup with #2 I was done with relationships, never to try again. This time I was single for 3 years.

then I met another lovely young woman at a meeting of al-anon and whadya know? Here comes yet another wonderful fairy tale. yeah, yeah, this one only lasted 3 years, but this is progress. It is taking me less time to discover the red flags and get out of a fairy tale that is turning sour _before_ it totally becomes sour.

I am single again, and much wiser. Definetly interested in another fairy tale. As long as I don't give up I _will_ find the one that lasts until the end of my life

I met a lovely young lady at the dentist's office last week... she is single... and very friendly.... and then it turns out she's only 45 yrs old which is younger than my daughter so ... never mind. Anybody under 50 is just a baby, in my opinion

Yes, there is life after leaving a fairy tale. There's more than one soul-mate out there in the world and more than one fairy tale.

Mike

dandylion

be.....if y ou are waiting for a "fairytale"........I'm afraid that you will become muuuch older than you are now.
I haven't seen any fairytales in the recovery arena......
Genuine recovery involves at least o ne to two years of intense and very goal directed work on the behalf of the alcoholic. And, this early recovery period(1-2yrs.) can be as difficult...or more difficult....than the p eriod of active drinking.....
Fiarytale turnarounds are the stuff of Hollywood or rose-colored glasses.

The other guy......I suspect that this is more about you getting away from the current relationship....
When one is satisfied in a relationship----there is no "looking around and dreaming of another"

dandylion

F50Lurker

My first thought was that of honeypig's - he is very likely still drinking. I'm sorry.

HoldOnLoosely

That's the truth - what Dandylion wrote. Early recovery is difficult...very difficult. The drinking might stop, but then there's the hard work involved to address the deep rooted issues. A week ago, the marriage counselor told me privately it would take years for my husband and the marriage to be in a better place. Oh my gosh...years. That's not a fairytale turnaround. That's reality. I'm still letting that sink in.

I hope this sheds some light. I wish you the best with whatever decision you make.