SeriousKarma

A year ago today I wrote an update marking the one year anniversary of me kicking my husband out.

So, Here’s where I am at the two year mark…

I'm divorced. I still have a ton of unpaid bills. Still work at the same job, though I like it better now. Still live in the same town. (Probably will for a while, because my daughter is happy here for now.)

But... I think I may have achieved a sort of post divorce nirvana when it comes to my relationship with my XAH.

We communicate on average once a week via email. Nothing much. Businessy stuff and little updates. Bits of things that we think the other may find interesting or funny. Nothing heavy or emotional. Very pleasant. Very brief.

His drinking isn't my problem anymore. Maybe he’s drinking, maybe he’s not. Dunno. Not my problem. I’m curious about it. But not overly curious. In the future I hope to not be curious at all. That might be a stretch, but it's a worthy goal.

And the oddest thing of all… I don’t feel the need to b*tch about him anymore. I’ve accepted the fact that he’s a nice guy. A crappy husband. But a nice guy.

This is a good place.

maia1234

SK-
you sound awesome!!

I wish that i was strong enough not to "bxtch" about my AXH. You are in a lot better place then me.

Hugs my friend, maybe one day I will get to that place!!

amy55

You really are sounding terrific.

I had to have contact with mine, and that was a b!tch. In lawyers hands now.

SeriousKarma

Thanks Maia and Amy. I have to admit it, I'm kind of proud of myself. I had to work at this. I really didn't want to go through the rest of my life hating him, even though I felt myself pulled in that direction at times. And I didn't want to squander the relationship that we had built over 23 years. It wasn't all bad.

ladyscribbler

Yeah I'm still working on this one myself. Maybe now that the whole custody mess is settled I'll start feeling a little more charitable toward him. Though earlier today I had this insane urge to call him and rub his nose in the court order.
I resisted (mostly because I don't ever want to have to make amends to that fool again), and put my energy into cooking instead. Now we can celebrate SK's 2 year serenity triumph with homemade chocolate pudding.
Who wants butterscotch chips on theirs?

slowclimb

Glad to know you've arrived at a good place. I also like the way you've been able to separate your xah being a nice guy but a crappy husband. I'm glad you've been able to have a civil relationship after the divorce - esp for your daughter

redatlanta

Congrats SK!

SeriousKarma

Yes, please!!!!