Everynight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Everynight
Every night I pray he gets pulled over.
Every night I avoid talking to him because I can't understand him.
Every night I have him watch tv with me in the basement knowing he will pass out down there so I can sleep without smelling him.
Every night I pray for the break I need to get out of here.
We barely see him anymore. I have found ways around him. He is not responsible enough anymore to watch my daughter. He stopped eating with us. He stopped eating all together. All he does is drink and smoke. Drink and smoke. He smells so awful, sweat, alcohol, stale smoke and something else that is like death or ammonia. I can't worry about him anymore but his presence irritates me. I am saving my money and carefully planning my move out of here. I just need to get my finances back to somewhat normal. This is life with an alcoholic.
Jennifer
Every night I avoid talking to him because I can't understand him.
Every night I have him watch tv with me in the basement knowing he will pass out down there so I can sleep without smelling him.
Every night I pray for the break I need to get out of here.
We barely see him anymore. I have found ways around him. He is not responsible enough anymore to watch my daughter. He stopped eating with us. He stopped eating all together. All he does is drink and smoke. Drink and smoke. He smells so awful, sweat, alcohol, stale smoke and something else that is like death or ammonia. I can't worry about him anymore but his presence irritates me. I am saving my money and carefully planning my move out of here. I just need to get my finances back to somewhat normal. This is life with an alcoholic.
Jennifer
Jen.Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: My mind wanders a lot, but I try to stay in the present.
Posts: 1,007
Well, for what it's worth, every night you've got us here for you.
Every night I go on SR and think of all of you that are still in the thick of it, and say my little prayers.
Just know you're not alone.
Every night I go on SR and think of all of you that are still in the thick of it, and say my little prayers.
Just know you're not alone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
Let me offer this as a suggestion. Take it or leave it.
As you patiently bide your time, do things that help focus on that effort. Things that he probably won't notice. It sounds like he is pretty much punched out anyway so he may not even notice any of it.
But do little things.
Like open an account in your name only (if you haven't already), and put money into it, a little at a time as much as you can.
Start to pack things in boxes that you can live without daily, but intend to keep. Try and keep those boxes even in size. They pack, stack, store and move more quickly that way. You can buy boxes, or you can watch C/L for free boxes. Also go to vegetable stands. They often discard good quality heavy cardboard boxes that are easily packed and stored and moved. They are small and can hold heavy items.
Get with your car insurance carrier. Let them know you live with an alcoholic. You don't wish to expose yourself to that liability, what can they do to help. My agent was HUGELY helpful in helping me have peace of mind from an insurance point of view. Plus they assist you because you let them know the have a higher risk than they knew about.
All of these can be done as you find the time to do them, help you obtain steps closer to your goal, and speed things along for when the time comes. It also helps you stay focused on the end result and not focus on what you have to endure with no change.
Every little thing you can do to help get there, helps you get there mentally and emotionally.
Even it takes weeks or months, its better than trying to do them in a panic/rush because you have to bolt when it gets worse. It helps you make "that break" you seek, come easier.
Here is what I found. The more I did to help me get to a better place, the more "breaks" started to occur for me.
As you patiently bide your time, do things that help focus on that effort. Things that he probably won't notice. It sounds like he is pretty much punched out anyway so he may not even notice any of it.
But do little things.
Like open an account in your name only (if you haven't already), and put money into it, a little at a time as much as you can.
Start to pack things in boxes that you can live without daily, but intend to keep. Try and keep those boxes even in size. They pack, stack, store and move more quickly that way. You can buy boxes, or you can watch C/L for free boxes. Also go to vegetable stands. They often discard good quality heavy cardboard boxes that are easily packed and stored and moved. They are small and can hold heavy items.
Get with your car insurance carrier. Let them know you live with an alcoholic. You don't wish to expose yourself to that liability, what can they do to help. My agent was HUGELY helpful in helping me have peace of mind from an insurance point of view. Plus they assist you because you let them know the have a higher risk than they knew about.
All of these can be done as you find the time to do them, help you obtain steps closer to your goal, and speed things along for when the time comes. It also helps you stay focused on the end result and not focus on what you have to endure with no change.
Every little thing you can do to help get there, helps you get there mentally and emotionally.
Even it takes weeks or months, its better than trying to do them in a panic/rush because you have to bolt when it gets worse. It helps you make "that break" you seek, come easier.
Here is what I found. The more I did to help me get to a better place, the more "breaks" started to occur for me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
And to add. Start to sell things on C/L and EBay etc. Things he won't miss, you don't need and aren't titled in either name. Use these proceeds to fund your exit. Plus it keeps you focused and occupied on obtaining your goal.
There is a new App called LetGo (currently pushing ads on TV here). Its like a smaller more localized version of E-Bay. It is meant to be an easy quick way to do local buy sells of anything. I checked it out. Have not used it.
When I did this, I made enough to have money for an attorney should I have needed it. She never missed any of it, and none of what I sold was a life altering to me.
There is a new App called LetGo (currently pushing ads on TV here). Its like a smaller more localized version of E-Bay. It is meant to be an easy quick way to do local buy sells of anything. I checked it out. Have not used it.
When I did this, I made enough to have money for an attorney should I have needed it. She never missed any of it, and none of what I sold was a life altering to me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
CG-
I am so sorry!!
I had a girl friend come over last week as I was helping her with her resume. I feel she is an alcoholic also. We were sitting close as she was showing me a video she put together. I could smell that "smell" on her breath. It gave me chills. I was telling my other friend about the experience and she called it PTSD. (post traumatic stress disorder) Wow!!! I guess I do fee that this smell was very traumatic in my life and lives down deep with in me.
Hugs my friend, one day at a time
I am so sorry!!
I had a girl friend come over last week as I was helping her with her resume. I feel she is an alcoholic also. We were sitting close as she was showing me a video she put together. I could smell that "smell" on her breath. It gave me chills. I was telling my other friend about the experience and she called it PTSD. (post traumatic stress disorder) Wow!!! I guess I do fee that this smell was very traumatic in my life and lives down deep with in me.
Hugs my friend, one day at a time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Wow thank you for all the good words. I posted this to get this off my chest. I also posted it in case someone out there feels alone and is in a similar situation. I also posted it so I, myself, wouldn't feel alone. Last night was very dark. Today I'm suffering the emotional hangover. I'm going slowly through the processes of getting out and managing but sometimes the whole situation stresses me to the point of having to post something about it.
Jennifer
Jennifer
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