Kboys

Roll the dice? No that's not what I said.
OP can certainly speak with an attorney, like she said she was going to do. I'm sure it wouldn't be a bad idea, and would hopefully give her peace of mind.
However, the meeting with CPS is going to happen regardless, so, IMO, just IMO, it's better to be honest and cooperative.

CPS doesn't want your kids unless it's absolutely necessary... they already have enough to do.
If at all possible, which it really does seem is the case here, they will do their investigation, offer assistance and referrals as needed, and that will be the end of it.

All the best to you and your children AW

SparkleKitty

In a situation where one parent is completely focused on their addiction and the other parent is completely focused on the addict, it would be nice if anyone in this situation were really focused on the well being of the children.

amy55

I also think it would be a good idea to have your son see the school psychologist, and then perhaps a therapist for himself. He can be carrying around a lot of anger, depression, and trying to find a way to release this.

I know this thread was more about venting about an alcoholic, but it really turned out to be a child that is crying for help.

((((((hugs))))))
amy

Liveitwell

^^ YES!!!! Stop thinking of your husband-your kids must come first.

FireSprite

Because you CHOOSE to stay.

Because you & your children are living with addiction 24/7 whether it's you that slams the beer or not.

Because children raised in a home with active addiction are affected in more ways than show on a report card. I never pulled less than an A in school (not even so much as a B) & I was often the most damaged person in the room.

Because you're already , obviously, seeing that your son is affected & potentially following the same path. What better reason IS there?

dandylion

angrywife......I am reminded of a story that I read somewhere on Sr.

A woman was hit by a vehicle....and, unfortunately, suffered a broken leg....
When the ambulance came, the attendants told her "You have a broken leg and we are going to take you to the hospital.....
"what!?", she exclamined....."Why should I have to go to the hospital? He is the one that caused this...it is HIS fault.....make him go to the hospital....

angry wife....I say ....talk to whoever you feel can help you feel a little more settled and calm.....I say this because it will be important for you to present as in control and co-operative with the CPS people.
Try very hard not to be overly defensive or hostile toward them.....because that will definitely work against you. Bite your tongue, if you have to.
they do have a certain amount of power....and you don't want to P*** them off.
They are required to investigate every instance that comes across their desk.
They will be l ooking for abuse and/or neglect.....if it does exist.
If you remain calm and co-operative...they will also make note of the positive things, also.
If they see a concerned and caring mother.....their goal will be to see what they can do to be of help.....
It is normal for a p aren't to feel afraid and judged in this kind of situation......but, it may go better than you fear.....
I suggest showing them that you are prepared to do whatever will help you son.... show them that you are concerned about him....

dandylion

Kboys

^^^ What dandy said... great advice

angrywife232310

My husband is a drunk. I accept that. I am embarrassed that I married this man. He has 2 duis, domestic violence, public intoxication, possession of a controlled substance, solisitation of a prostitute, ect... I feel like I need to accept that he is a criminal also.

Sungrl

Remind me again why you are still with this man??

angrywife232310

Because I still love him?

Kboys

I understand that feeling of embarrassment... I felt / feel that way too about my AH (now separated AH).
I put up with way too much for way too long, and I was embarrassed to talk about it at all for a long time, because I felt like his actions made me look bad, and the fact that I was still with him made me look weak or whatever, and I didn't want to be judged.

So you've accepted that he's a drunk, and you're working on accepting that he's a criminal... That's the first step..

You are not responsible for the abominable decisions he has made.
But you ARE responsible for the decisions that YOU make.

It's not too late to turn this around and make a better life for you and your children.

Sungrl

Then please find out why you do not love and respect yourself enough to leave this man.

Take your misplaced love for him and add it to the love you have for your kids and get them and you the hell out of there.

dandylion

angrywife....acceptance is a really hard bridge to cross.....so very hard!

first, awareness.....then the acceptance......
If one scrapes away the anger.....almost always. there is a huge layer of hurt and pain.....
I don't think that there is hardly a person who has come t SR who can't relate to this at some level.......

dandylion

dandylion

angrywife232310

The thing I fear is that my husband owns several guns. He likes to hunt and fish. I'm afraid if I leave he will "snap."

Sungrl

There are places that will help. I am the first to admit my situation was not one of violence. All I know is I have read enough here to know there are resources available to you if you want to get out bad enough. Whose to say he won't snap while you are still there??

angrywife232310

He would never hurt me or the children sober. When he drinks beer is at least tolerable. When he drinks vodka, he becomes a monster.

amy55

Must admit, I didn't read your previous threads. I was wondering if you have ever been able to open up to someone about anything, or have you been just stuffing it down for a really long time? I do care

DG0409

You DON'T have to learn about his alcoholism. Learning a little may help you to understand the situation a little better, but ultimately,I don't think it's going to make much difference. But it might be a good idea to try to learn more about how do DEAL with his alcoholism and the feelings you have for it. A journey you've obviously started on, or you wouldn't be here.

If you haven't already, you might try reading 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie. Please, don't be turned off by the title. You don't have to identify as codependent for it to be a useful book. It has a lot of information about dealing with having an alcoholic or addict in your life. But it keeps the focus on the person trying to deal with the alcoholic, not on the alcoholic.

amy55

Did you arrange a date yet for CPS?

angrywife232310

No, not yet. But I plan on speaking to an attorney first.