ljptwin2

Im new here and allready relieved to see that there are people like me. I a have an AH of 13 years. I have three children whom i adore. It has been a lonnnnng 13 years. I know i should leave everyone has told me I just cant seen to do it. Ive gone through abuse and 6 dui's and countless times in jail. (not my own , my husbands). Had to sell my house and ive personally lost myself. but im starting to resent all the things ive lost and now to top it off my sisters have taken my children for the school year. They say its to scare my husband into rehab. I agreed it might help so i let them because they can be kids there. My oldest feels he needs to protect me and thats why i let him go. But since they have been gone allmost 2 months, guess how many times my AH has drank? . (probably 55 out of 60) I am furious. and then i start to think maybe i am responsible if i just back off hell get help. I have read most of the posts and am very hopeful and glad to hear im not alone even though i feel like it most the time.

Petunia

LJP,

I saved this email for some reason - maybe today is it.

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Surrender

To the anagrams we use, I'd like to add S.S.S. -- Sit Still and Suffer.

Suffering has gotten such a bad name lately, as though it's some shameful thing that one should never experience. Who told us life must always be great? That everything we want must be ours? That the rain will wait until we're under a tree? Fact is, life can be boring, life can be unfair, and life can be cruel. Sometimes, for no reason, things go wrong and nothing helps.

Maybe it's time to just get through it. Like the rain, the feeling will pass. Like the season, things will change. And we'll be stronger for it -- we've survived a problem. We can experience pain and disappointment, and live. Our hearts may break but they keep beating.

Today, I'll stop demanding perfection from an imperfect world filled with imperfect people.

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You're not alone and the road is very crowded with those of us in similar situations. What I remember doing is asking what is the worse thing that could happen if I set a boundary and it wasn't kept. My boundaries are important but it took me some time to figure out what they were and are as they change as time goes by. Love yourself today, you're the one person that you can rely on to take care of you - if you choose to.

Peace,

Petunia

Magichappens

hi ljptwin2,
Welcome to SR. When and if we leave is our decision. No one but us can decide that. So don't beat yourself up for doing what your heart has told you and not what everyone else has told you.

I am glad you joined us. Yes there are a lot of us that are dealing with similar situations. Make yourself at home here. Feel free to post, reply, or just browse. This is a very non-judgemental place to learn, grow, and heal from the effects of alcoholism on ourself and our families. It has been a big part of my recovery.

Have you ever considered attending an Al-Anon meeting? Through Al-Anon I have found a peace in the storm. There are many tools that we can find to help us cope with the frustration, pain, and fear that alcoholism has caused us. Together we support each other to find healthier ways to live and grow. To find an Al-Anon meeting in your area, http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/english.html and select "How to locate a meeting."

Keep coming here. It takes time but there are many success stories here. You aren't alone, and you don't have to be a victim anymore. Hugs, Magic