Zircon

Me again. Going to my nieces wedding today for the weekend. AH isn't going doesn't like my sister, because her son is a RA, and she feels my sister basically knew he was actively using and let him. He's 25, and been in recovery for almost a year. I don't want my ah there anyways. Excited about going away with my family for the weekend.
Last night, he was very verbally abusive. I'm sure he was drinking. Ah doesn't like that he has to pay half the bills in the house. Stated that I made a verbal contract he says to pay the bills while the business gets going!!! I didn't engage him, but only said, acquaintances, which he says he are share bills. It was awful. The guy that delivers out wood to the shop, I took care of his dad, I'm a hospice nurse. I've known the family a long time. My ah went on to say, he told all the guys at the shop that he knows be well!!!! Everyone at the shop, 2 men, who should be called boys!!! We're all taking about me sleeping with this guy!!!!! I can't believe it!!!! Doesn't make any sense, my ah won't touch me because he told me I'm unattractive!!!!!
Then it gets worse, my ah states his sister will be paying for his divorce. Then he stated what do you think of that??? I tried not to engage him, but did say if she's that foolish!!!
Well the abuse continued all night because I'm asking for him to pay half the bills.
He then proceeded to tell the 2 guys, who are "volunteering" in our business all our martial problems!!!!! I have to work with this 28 yr old who I said I don't want back in the shop, since we had a 911 emergency r/t alcohol abuse, and this other idiot friend of my ah. Not sure what to do???
Going to go enjoy my weekend??? Any advice about the work situation???

LexieCat

Sounds pretty miserable. I don't think there's a solution to the "work situation" as long as you live there.

One thing that might help is not engaging with him when he's like that. You have a response to every idiotic thing he says. That just keeps it going.

Take the weekend with your family and think about what it might be like not to have to come home to that.

Lilro

I'm sorry Z but your husband was a jerk@@@ last week and he's still a jerk@@@ this week. Obviously the only thing that is ever going to change your situation is YOU.

atalose

I’m not really clear on the whole work/business thing other then you went into business with an alcoholic who now has “volunteer alcoholics” hanging out with him all day. His verbal abuse has grown. He has told you he’s not willing to stop drinking any time soon. He continues to say hurtful and unloving things to you. You attended 1 al-anon meeting and it wasn’t for you, and you want advice about the work situation????

I’d suggest you go back to nursing even if it’s per-diem get out and away from this toxic work/living environment and go back to re-visit your attorney.

AnvilheadII

i thought you were working on an EXIT strategy, Zircon?

all this he said, she said, makes MY head spin, i can't imagine living it. you are still letting your AH run the show....

have you had an appointment with a lawyer yet to know your rights and the lay of the land regarding property and the business?

do you have a fallback career, another direction you can go in BESIDES trying to be in business with an abusive alcoholic?

what STEPS are you taking for YOU?

Zircon

Thank you all. I am a nurse, so yes I have a career to fall back on.
I saw an attorney, who advises me to stay in the house if I'm safe, until things are settled. He also stated to only pay half of the bills.
I went into business with him, to help him reopen his family business. Now I think it was a bad thing.
I know it's over, I can't take the nightly verbal diarrhea. My ah continues to drink, has no intention of quitting. I have to get better at walking away from him when he is spouting his garbage!! That I need to get better at.
I will have a good weekend away, then in 2 weeks I go to Florida for 2 weeks.