The Language of Letting Go, November 12
 

NOVEMBER 12

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Timing

Wait until the time is right. It is self-defeating to postpone or procrastinate; it is also self-defeating to act too soon, before the time is right.

Sometimes we panic and take action out of fear. Sometimes we take untimely action for revenge or because we want to punish someone. We act or speak too soon as a way to control or force someone to action. Sometimes we take action too soon to relieve feelings of discomfort or anxiety about how a situation will turn out.

An action taken too soon can be as ineffective as one taken too late. It can backfire and cause more problems than it solves. Usually, when we wait until the time is right - sometimes only a matter of minutes or hours - the discomfort dissolves, and we're empowered to accomplish what we need to do.

In recovery, we are learning to be effective.

Our answers will come. Our guidance will come. Pray. Trust. Wait. Let go. We are being led. We are being guided.

Today I will let go of my need to control by waiting until the time is right. When the time is right, I will take action.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
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Always a big big problem for me. I wish I could say I was getting better at this, and maybe I am in a very small way, but I am always acting, speaking, doing too soon and so often it ends up being the wrong thing. Sometimes I can backtrack and remedy my mistake; other times I've got no way out or around...

If anyone can offer suggestions on how to get myself to wait, I'd be grateful. It's just such an ingrained habit that I don't even realize I'm doing it, I don't catch myself at it, until I've gone ahead and done it already.

Golden!
Second time in a week that your post has come at precisely the right time for me.
Thank you!

On one of the Alanon YouTbe videos I was listening to the other day the speaker said that she avoided Codie temptations by reciting the serenity prayer once for each year of her recovery (something like 28!) before reacting. Maybe you could come up with some kind of technique to stall yourself in those moments.

Going Easy
 

honeyp, I know this is something I work on, too. Being too quick for God.

I printed this off from this site, don't remember where...I read it often. It's obviously from a 12 Step publication...maybe even The Language of Letting Go.


Going Easy

Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness. Go in peace.

Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace.

Frantic behaviors and urgency are not the foundation for our new way of life.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin. Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time. Beginnings will arrive soon enough.

Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish. You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments. Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.

Let the pace flow naturally. Move forward. Start. Keep moving forward. Do it gently, though. Do it in peace. Cherish each moment.

Today, Higher Power, help me focus on a peaceful pace rather than a harried one. I will keep moving forward gently, not frantically. Help me let go of my need to be anxious, upset, and harried. Help me replace it with a need to be at peace and in harmony.

Thanks, TH, that's a good idea, probably a good habit to form no matter what!

And BB, yes, that is a great piece and full of important reminders for me. You're correct, it's from The Language of Letting Go, April 1. Thanks!

I think that passage I linked says, "Be here now."

A few of my dysfunctional thought processes which I work on are, catastrophizing, anticipating (expectations), worrying, jumping ahead. I often try to anticipate the next thing in order to somehow control the next crisis. If I stay in the moment - this exact moment - I can stay at peace. I've let go of the past - but I still think I have some control over the future...even if it's something as simple as a conversation with someone. I think this is pretty common with trauma and abuse victims. I want to protect myself from discomfort, discontent, dissention, disagreement.

I hope to learn to be comfortable, content, accepting and in agreement with the Universe - exactly like it is. One day at a time.

It's a process. A daily discipline.