LSC1

I have FINALLY made the effort to reign in the money in out marriage. I am the Primary Wage earner in the relationship. For years I have let AH manage the finances, he has generally done a good job. But I am confident I can do a BETTER job. It is scary as I feel he is waiting for me to fail. I acknowledge our marriage has MANY issues that need to be dealt with. But I am rather happy with myself for taking the actions I have over the last few weeks ... they are a step in right direction for me. Over the next few weeks I need to deal with the emotional aspect of the marriage ... for now..... fingers crossed $ will no longer be stressor.

AnvilheadII

put a budget together, Excel spreadsheet would be my recommendation. you list EVERY bill, every due date, the bank account, any automatic deposits (payroll) ...etc etc. then you have a PLAN.

LSC1

Yep I took note of EVERY expense for a fortnight (2 weeks) collected receipts ... ran off copies of my transactions ... hubbies transactions ... questioned anything that was not transparent... I have set some boundries .. all my bills are now being paid by direct deductions .. this has caused some angst for hubby .. but I am calmer .... next step is to determine a budget for money left after the bills are paid .. hubby IS earning ATM but we need a budget for when he is not .. not worrying about the bills will be a change .. I feel better ... his control (whether intentional or not) has been reduced ... I am feeling stronger .. this is only one issue .. but one thing at a time

SeriousKarma

It may be one issue, but it's a BIG one.

I love it when I hear about people here on SR being smart with their money. Addiction is so often partnered with financial problems. Handling the finances smartly should be right up there with "detachment" and "boundaries".

I controlled the money early in our marriage, and then somewhere around the midway point things started going wonky, and I let the money situation get away from me. Now I'm having to relearn some financial lessons the hard way.

Good for you for getting a hold of the reins.

maia1234

I see your your muscles growing lsc!!!

Stay on track and slowly your life will become more manageable!!! By the time I left my addict he was spending close to 1000.00 a month on alcohol and drugs. Very easy to destroy a families savings, I am sure it is more now that I'm gone..

Hugs my friend!!