Old notes from my Al Anon convention
 

So, I was reviewing some notes from convention back in May/June. I remember my boyfriend asking me why I continued with Al Anon since I was divorcing the alcoholic.....haha, I told him I was there for other people and to continue to learn how to be in God's will and not my own. He understood, but it's funny when people don't have experience with 12 step programs because I know it's so foreign to them. Anyway, I am still dating that same boyfriend (7 months into this dating thing, lol) and things are going well, but I know I need program just as much now as I did back when I lived with active alcoholism.

At one of the meetings the speaker asked the audience these 4 questions and I wanted to share them here with all of you:

1.How can I make better contact with God(your Higher Power, etc) every day?
2.Am I taking time to enjoy the present moment?
3.Am I becoming the person I want to be?
4. What can I give thanks for today?

Each of those questions have significance to me. If I neglect my relationship with God, my other relationships suffer. Either they suffer because I am not healthy while I interact with others or they suffer in my own mind because I am trying to force my will mentally on something that I know only God has control over. For example: questions like: does my boyfriend really love me, will my ex ever get sober, will my son be OK in the future, etc, etc. Only my Higher Power knows the answer to those things and I have to learn to surrender.

Living in the present moment is hard for me because I future trip and create things in my sick mind about the awful things that will befall me in the future. Question 2 helps me regroup.

As for becoming the person I want to be: that is a daily exercise in turning things over and in taking life one day at a time. I strive to be better today than I was yesterday. And, if I take a step backwards, I call my sponsor or text a friend and I start my day over no matter what time of day it is.

And, gratitude is HUGE for me. I keep a gratitude journal but many days I forget to write in it and I forget to be thankful for the little things. Question 4 brings me back to gratefulness and I remember that the little things I am obsessing over are not life and death. They are small problems in the grand scheme of things and if I can find gratitude daily it makes me feel like I am a part of something bigger than myself. I am a selfish person and I want things my WAY. I want my XAH to be sober. I want my boyfriend to be better at communicating even though I know he loves me. I want my grandmother to be healthy. I want to find a better paying job. I want this and I want that.......But, through all those 'wants' I am forgetting to bring God into it and to find gratitude for what I DO HAVE TODAY. I have serenity today. I have peace. I have a great guy who dotes on me and is kind and respectful to me. I have a son who is learning program and is growing up and teaching me grace. I have wonderful friends who love me, even when I do stupid stuff.

Hope you all are having a blessed day and I hope these questions help you as they have helped me!

It's good to hear from you again, lizatola. I have wondered how things were going for you. I'm happy to know that you are making progress and now that you are away from the chaos, you can see things more clearly.

Don't be such a stranger. :)

Those are awesome! Thanx for sharing! #3 stuck out in particular to me. The mere thought that my choices choices throughout the day are creating who I will become tomorrow.... deep! I love it!

#2 id a sticky one for me too as I tend to future trip as well.... Working on letting go and trusting God is one heck of a journey!

I know! I 'm sorry I'm not on as much and believe me....there's been all kinds of crazy stuff with the XAH that I've dealt with and my son is suffering because of it. Life moves on and I continue to find my peace and my place, even when I feel like I'm at a dead end. God is good, my friend.

He sure is...all the time! I had issues with my ex up until she was finally 18 years old and he was able to slink away and not be heard from again.

One day, I got an email from my daughter with a link and when I clicked on it, it was a mug shot of her dad after being arrested for assault and battery or a family member (his wife). I am SOO glad I got out of that situation, even though he never was physically abusive to me.

I find the gratitude lists fascinating- really cool how they can totally change my mind where lots of effort to think about other things fails. My boss (AA) turned me on to using them to help with difficulty falling asleep- just start going down the gratitude list and often you'll be asleep in just a couple minutes.

I went to the Maryland alanon conference over last weekend, had a great time. Being able to discuss program stuff without being interrupted by the conclusion of the meeting-after-the-meeting was great, many opportunities for in-depth sharing.