The Language of Letting Go, November 10
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The Language of Letting Go, November 10
NOVEMBER 10
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Beliefs about Money
I was starting a new job for a corporation. I was good at what I did for a living. The personnel manager and I were down to the details of employment, and he asked me how much money I believed I deserved. I thought about it and came up with a figure of $400 a month. This was back in the sixties. I didn't want to ask for too much, so I decided to ask for the smallest amount I could live with. He hired me and gave me what I asked for. Later on, when I left that job, the personnel manager told me he had been willing to pay me whatever I wanted. Had I asked for $600 or even $700 a month, which was a tremendous salary at that time, I would have gotten it. I had limited myself by what I believed I deserved.
--Anonymous
What are our beliefs about money?
Do we believe that money is evil and wrong? Money is neither. It is a commodity on earth, a necessity. It is what people need to purchase many of their basic needs, as well as luxuries and treats; it is one way they are rewarded for their work. Loving money, however, can be as self-defeating as loving any other commodity. We can become obsessed with money; we can use it as an escape from relationships and feelings; we can use it compulsively to gain a temporary sense of power. Money is simply money.
Do we believe there's a scarcity of money? Many of grew up with deprived thinking concerning money: There's not enough. There will never be enough. If we get a little, we may guard it and hoard it because there's no more.
Money is not in short supply. We do not have to waste our energy resenting those who have enough. There is plenty of money here on earth.
How much do we believe we deserve? Many of us are limiting ourselves by what we believe we deserve.
Money is not evil. There is no scarcity, except in our mind and attitudes. And what we believe we deserve will be about what we shall receive.
We can change our beliefs through affirmations, by setting goals, by starting where we are, and working slowly forward to where we want to be
Today I will examine my beliefs about money. I will begin the process of letting go of any self-defeating beliefs that may be limiting or blocking the financial part of my life.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Beliefs about Money
I was starting a new job for a corporation. I was good at what I did for a living. The personnel manager and I were down to the details of employment, and he asked me how much money I believed I deserved. I thought about it and came up with a figure of $400 a month. This was back in the sixties. I didn't want to ask for too much, so I decided to ask for the smallest amount I could live with. He hired me and gave me what I asked for. Later on, when I left that job, the personnel manager told me he had been willing to pay me whatever I wanted. Had I asked for $600 or even $700 a month, which was a tremendous salary at that time, I would have gotten it. I had limited myself by what I believed I deserved.
--Anonymous
What are our beliefs about money?
Do we believe that money is evil and wrong? Money is neither. It is a commodity on earth, a necessity. It is what people need to purchase many of their basic needs, as well as luxuries and treats; it is one way they are rewarded for their work. Loving money, however, can be as self-defeating as loving any other commodity. We can become obsessed with money; we can use it as an escape from relationships and feelings; we can use it compulsively to gain a temporary sense of power. Money is simply money.
Do we believe there's a scarcity of money? Many of grew up with deprived thinking concerning money: There's not enough. There will never be enough. If we get a little, we may guard it and hoard it because there's no more.
Money is not in short supply. We do not have to waste our energy resenting those who have enough. There is plenty of money here on earth.
How much do we believe we deserve? Many of us are limiting ourselves by what we believe we deserve.
Money is not evil. There is no scarcity, except in our mind and attitudes. And what we believe we deserve will be about what we shall receive.
We can change our beliefs through affirmations, by setting goals, by starting where we are, and working slowly forward to where we want to be
Today I will examine my beliefs about money. I will begin the process of letting go of any self-defeating beliefs that may be limiting or blocking the financial part of my life.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
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Get out of my head, HP. Seriously, this is getting creepy. 
LOL.
We JUST had this conversation on Friday night & people thought I was nuts for having this ^^ sort of opinion. I just kept repeating, you really DO set your own worth in this world, in many ways!
LOL.We JUST had this conversation on Friday night & people thought I was nuts for having this ^^ sort of opinion. I just kept repeating, you really DO set your own worth in this world, in many ways!
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I had applied for a job similar to the one I'm doing now, a few months before I applied for this one. When I applied for this job, when they asked my salary requirements, I quoted the figure the last place I'd applied was paying, noting that since I was getting a pension, my salary requirements would be more modest (that salary was about half of what I'd been making in my job I retired from).
When I was offered the job, I was FLOORED when they told me the salary--which was almost twice the other job, and close to what I was earning before retirement. LOL, just a matter, really, of assuming I knew the market rate (which I hadn't researched for nonprofits--all of whom, I assumed, would be paying low salaries).
Yeah, I think I'm worth it. Still, you don't want to price yourself out of the running if you want the job.
When I was offered the job, I was FLOORED when they told me the salary--which was almost twice the other job, and close to what I was earning before retirement. LOL, just a matter, really, of assuming I knew the market rate (which I hadn't researched for nonprofits--all of whom, I assumed, would be paying low salaries).
Yeah, I think I'm worth it. Still, you don't want to price yourself out of the running if you want the job.
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It's funny, FS, I was just this very morning thinking that I needed to get back to keeping a record book of my finances at the start of the new year. I did this for a number of years, then XAH took over w/creative bookkeeping. For the last few years, we've just not done it at all.
I have a sticky on my calendar to remember to start this on Jan. 1, and I just dug out a fresh new budget book and put it where I can easily find it. I think I'll feel a lot more control knowing for real how much I'm spending and where I'm spending it. That is one of my big anxieties w/XAH moving out, concern about finances on my own. Yes, he drank and spent our savings, but he did foot half the bills for utilities, property taxes, etc. I have every reason to believe I will be fine w/o his income--I am used to living cheaply already--but it won't hurt to have the proof in black and white...
I have a sticky on my calendar to remember to start this on Jan. 1, and I just dug out a fresh new budget book and put it where I can easily find it. I think I'll feel a lot more control knowing for real how much I'm spending and where I'm spending it. That is one of my big anxieties w/XAH moving out, concern about finances on my own. Yes, he drank and spent our savings, but he did foot half the bills for utilities, property taxes, etc. I have every reason to believe I will be fine w/o his income--I am used to living cheaply already--but it won't hurt to have the proof in black and white...
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I am going to do the same thing 01/1/16. I researched some of the personal finance software and I think I am going to use Moneydance ($50+/-) I currently have a good handle on my finances and am using excel spreadsheets but don't have any budget tracking setup.
While I don't think money is evil - I do think that debt is. IMO debt robs the soul of freedom.
While I don't think money is evil - I do think that debt is. IMO debt robs the soul of freedom.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
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This was a big one for me for a long, long time. First and foremost, I never "fit in" with many of my private legal practice peers in terms of money attitudes. A big house, a fancy car...none of it mattered to me, and having a lot made me feel guilty about all of the people in the world who struggle. That said, even when I was making a great law firm salary, I ALWAYS had financial problems. My money management skills were atrocious. I felt very strongly that over the years, I got myself into the situation where it was nearly impossible for me to leave my STBXAH as he became increasingly abusive. It was a full year between when I knew I had to leave, and when I actually left. I had to accept A LOT of financial help from people who care about me, and that was very hard to do. It made me ashamed, and made me worry that I would end up damaging those friendships. But here's the thing...once I was actually OUT, and on my own, a lot of that disappeared. I still have anxiety about owing people money, but it doesn't shame me the way it used to, and I am deeply grateful for the help I received. Now that I'm 10 weeks out of the house and on my own, the dust is starting to settle in my brain and I'm getting a handle on repayment plans. I can DO THIS. I made it this far, right?
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I grew up internalizing a lot of all or nothing attitudes about money. My dad's cheapness, raging about paying child support while he blew his unemployment checks on booze. My mom every single month went from "I just got paid, let's party" to ranting about how we were going to end up homeless in a refrigerator box if we didn't stop living beyond our means.
That's been a big issue with me. Forming my own adult attitudes toward money and methods for managing finances.
That's been a big issue with me. Forming my own adult attitudes toward money and methods for managing finances.
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