Effing Alcoholism
 

I traded some Facebook messages last week with an old college friend, who has been blissfully married to a woman he adores for about 15 years. They have one son, who is 12 or 13, I think. This particular friend has some passing familiarity of my situation with STBXAH, although we hadn't talked since I moved out. He was glad to hear that the kids and I are all doing so well.

Then he dropped his own bomb. His wife, both of whose parents were alcoholics, has descended into alcoholism. Apparently for years she had maybe one drink a month, but six months ago, things got crazy. She has a VERY demanding executive (i.e., non-lawyer) job at one of the world's biggest law firms. He seems to have a relatively well-adjusted outlook on the whole thing, but man. My heart just breaks for all of them. Keep them in all in your thoughts, if you wouldn't mind?

It is so sad, isn't it?! That a person will give up a marriage, kids, their own dignity and self respect to continue doing what they're doing! I will most definitely pray for your friend and his family. It's an awful awful thing. Peace to you :)

Sure will. I hope she is willing to do something for the sake of herself and her family. I always wonder when people say someone had "maybe one drink a month"--I always suspect that there was more going on that the partner was not aware of till it spilled out of hiding. Anything's possible, though, and I know my own drinking took off in a pretty rocket-like fashion once I left my second alcoholic husband (for whose sake I was happily--and easily--not drinking).

I haven't spent enough time with them to be able to say whether the "one drink a month" thing was true or not. At this point, she is missing a lot of work, and barely made it to a very important out of town presentation last week. It *sounds* as though she may be willing to accept help at this point, but we all know how quickly those things can change.

Yeah. Well, some people really DO get help early on and stay sober. Even though I was on the verge of some dire consequences if I hadn't quit, I think it was probably a little easier for me to get sober and stay that way once my mind was made up than people who drank alcoholically for much longer. I'd say my period of alcoholic drinking (not counting a couple of years in college) lasted maybe ten years at the most. I think it's harder when you've been doing it for 20 or 30 years or more.

Sending that whole family wishes for strength and clarity, Wisconsin. What a sad thing...