since he left
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 296
since he left
I was really upset when EXAH left with the kids, but since then I have learn a lot. The kids(19,19, 17 really young adults) have been brain washed and are really acting like spoiled brats(2 out of 3 fit this description-I am not going to say that to them at this point maybe later)
EXAH is very immature and acting like a 14 who is acting out and Somehow I became the person who ruins all their fun, and I have become the person who the are enjoying laughing at. (power went out and x got the generator and of course the backup sub pump does not work - not surprising - but I had no problem, the power was not off too long, however, I hear in my sons voice, a bit of mocking, when he asked about how it was without power)
I so want to inform my son that his dear dad also received child support and that his dear dad does not know this because his mom did not tell him, not to mention that his cousin received a lot of child support from her dad about 3x's more than I will get. But for now I will not. I kinda feel sorry for my kids they are choosing the rockier road in life and I don't know how much I want to clean up after them anymore.
At times being by myself bothers me a lot, but the up side is I love being on my own. I thought I would be lonely and upset all the time but I really love it. The ex has left me a mess to clean up(sub pump yard etc) but I will figure it out - I got this.
Just wanted to share.
EXAH is very immature and acting like a 14 who is acting out and Somehow I became the person who ruins all their fun, and I have become the person who the are enjoying laughing at. (power went out and x got the generator and of course the backup sub pump does not work - not surprising - but I had no problem, the power was not off too long, however, I hear in my sons voice, a bit of mocking, when he asked about how it was without power)
I so want to inform my son that his dear dad also received child support and that his dear dad does not know this because his mom did not tell him, not to mention that his cousin received a lot of child support from her dad about 3x's more than I will get. But for now I will not. I kinda feel sorry for my kids they are choosing the rockier road in life and I don't know how much I want to clean up after them anymore.
At times being by myself bothers me a lot, but the up side is I love being on my own. I thought I would be lonely and upset all the time but I really love it. The ex has left me a mess to clean up(sub pump yard etc) but I will figure it out - I got this.
Just wanted to share.
Last edited by cricket123; 11-07-2015 at 08:17 PM. Reason: adding
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
C-
It's only a matter of time that "Dad" will show his true colors to the kids. Your life will be calmer and the kids will be picking up the mess, that you had been picking up for ever.
Don't think that this whole scenario is over, I am sure it won't be long till they start telling you the stories of what good old Dad has been doing.
This movie is only just beginning. Enjoy the quietness and serenity today!! hugs my friend!!
It's only a matter of time that "Dad" will show his true colors to the kids. Your life will be calmer and the kids will be picking up the mess, that you had been picking up for ever.
Don't think that this whole scenario is over, I am sure it won't be long till they start telling you the stories of what good old Dad has been doing.
This movie is only just beginning. Enjoy the quietness and serenity today!! hugs my friend!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
cricket.....I think your rhino skin is beginning to grow (wink, wink).
I get it-how much your son's mocking hurts your heart.
I think you are handling it well.....
some day.....the worm will turn....
dandylion
I get it-how much your son's mocking hurts your heart.
I think you are handling it well.....
some day.....the worm will turn....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
I am sorry to hear of your son's meanness. Take heart it will get better. I have two sons and both were horrid from about 17-20. Just really rotten and mean. It is like they are trying to figure out what being an adult is. My eldest spent his senior year living with my mom he was such a brat. But, like a light was switch they both did a 180 eventually. Just be firm. Never back down.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
cricket....I just have another thought.....do you suppose that you son has been drinking...or under the influence of something when he say these beyond the pale disrespectful things to you.....?
He has been, obviously, following his father's suit in many ways.....
Even though I have said may times to detach and let things take their natural course with their father (you can't do anything about it anyway)........I don't advocate that you passively take his verbal abuse..
Draw the boundaries on his verbal, or other, disrespect. Let him know that you don't approve of it and you won't allow it.....
That goes for the lot of them, also......
dandylion
He has been, obviously, following his father's suit in many ways.....
Even though I have said may times to detach and let things take their natural course with their father (you can't do anything about it anyway)........I don't advocate that you passively take his verbal abuse..
Draw the boundaries on his verbal, or other, disrespect. Let him know that you don't approve of it and you won't allow it.....
That goes for the lot of them, also......
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
I agree with dandy--don't tolerate this
You are in a sense, "teaching" your son how to behave towards women.
Draw a strong line and stick to it.
Sounds like you are handling things very well--having peace is worth a lot, isn't it?
You are in a sense, "teaching" your son how to behave towards women.
Draw a strong line and stick to it.
Sounds like you are handling things very well--having peace is worth a lot, isn't it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 296
The peace is great! Still cleaning up xah's mess in a different way. Getting the yard mowed straightening up the house etc.
dandylion
I don't think son is or would drink he has a ways been against drinking/drugs (straight a's and a jock) and I did a lot of talking when he was young. I am told that boys will side with their dad's at this age then in about 6 months do a flip and form his own opinions - it's the girls I need to be aware of. Lol
dandylion
I don't think son is or would drink he has a ways been against drinking/drugs (straight a's and a jock) and I did a lot of talking when he was young. I am told that boys will side with their dad's at this age then in about 6 months do a flip and form his own opinions - it's the girls I need to be aware of. Lol
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
When your kids behave disrespectfully, you can detach from them, the same way one detaches from an alcoholic's disrespectful behavior.
You can say, "I'll be happy to talk to you when you decide you can be polite and pleasant. Goodbye." IOW, don't engage.
Glad you're enjoying some peace and quiet--I totally LOVE having my own space. I almost never get lonely, and if I do, I go to a meeting or call a friend. In my experience there is NOTHING lonelier than life with an active alcoholic.
You can say, "I'll be happy to talk to you when you decide you can be polite and pleasant. Goodbye." IOW, don't engage.
Glad you're enjoying some peace and quiet--I totally LOVE having my own space. I almost never get lonely, and if I do, I go to a meeting or call a friend. In my experience there is NOTHING lonelier than life with an active alcoholic.
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