Custody hearing: I was enough
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Custody hearing: I was enough
It's over, finally. Nine in the morning until two in the afternoon, and I spent the first two hours testifying. It was stressful and exhausting, but also completely worth it. All these months of combing through my journal, dragging up those old, awful memories finally had their purpose today.
My lawyer couldn't exactly high five me when I got down off the stand, but he was pretty happy. My ex's lawyer was reduced to trying to argue with me about the definition of alcoholism- "So he wasn't an alcoholic by the definition of an alcoholic being someone who drinks every day." LOL. I wanted to tell him to read the stickies.
My ex was a disaster on the stand- like Reagan at the Iran-Contra hearings, he did not recall much of anything. And for comic relief he had concocted a ridiculous story about me hitting him in the head with a hammer causing a scalp injury that took 12 staples to close. Really? You drove yourself to the VA for an appointment with a flap of your scalp hanging off and your therapist noticed it and put you in a wheelchair and called an ambulance to take you to another hospital. OK.
According to both him and his wife, he has successfully learned to moderate his drinking and only has "1 or 2 beers once a month."
Yeah the judge didn't buy any of it either.
None of their evidence was admitted. It was all hearsay (my new favorite word, thanks Lexie!).
His lawyer realized what a massive turd they were trying to polish and took them both into the conference room for several long talks until he finally convinced my ex to agree to visits contingent upon successfully completing an alcohol treatment program. Funny how he absolutely scorned that exact offer during mediation. And every other time I brought it up before that. He just spent a fortune in legal fees to have someone tell him to go to rehab. Is it wrong that I'm getting a bit of a chuckle out of that?
The only fly in the ointment is that I have to let DS6 go with him tomorrow for an overnight visit with ex's wife supervising and the condition that he not drink. I'm OK with it, and I get the feeling that the judge is feeding all of us some rope to see if anyone hangs themselves.I am being the queen of sweetness, and making all arrangements by text so there's no chance for any "miscommunication." Plus his wife gets to live out the ultimate codie fantasy of supervising an alcoholic during an important event. I hope she really enjoys that.
So that was it. The finale of our yearlong battle royale. And I was enough. My voice, my words, my truth. It was enough.
Thanks all my SR peeps, for the massive amounts of support and wisdom.
My lawyer couldn't exactly high five me when I got down off the stand, but he was pretty happy. My ex's lawyer was reduced to trying to argue with me about the definition of alcoholism- "So he wasn't an alcoholic by the definition of an alcoholic being someone who drinks every day." LOL. I wanted to tell him to read the stickies.
My ex was a disaster on the stand- like Reagan at the Iran-Contra hearings, he did not recall much of anything. And for comic relief he had concocted a ridiculous story about me hitting him in the head with a hammer causing a scalp injury that took 12 staples to close. Really? You drove yourself to the VA for an appointment with a flap of your scalp hanging off and your therapist noticed it and put you in a wheelchair and called an ambulance to take you to another hospital. OK.
According to both him and his wife, he has successfully learned to moderate his drinking and only has "1 or 2 beers once a month."
Yeah the judge didn't buy any of it either.
None of their evidence was admitted. It was all hearsay (my new favorite word, thanks Lexie!).
His lawyer realized what a massive turd they were trying to polish and took them both into the conference room for several long talks until he finally convinced my ex to agree to visits contingent upon successfully completing an alcohol treatment program. Funny how he absolutely scorned that exact offer during mediation. And every other time I brought it up before that. He just spent a fortune in legal fees to have someone tell him to go to rehab. Is it wrong that I'm getting a bit of a chuckle out of that?
The only fly in the ointment is that I have to let DS6 go with him tomorrow for an overnight visit with ex's wife supervising and the condition that he not drink. I'm OK with it, and I get the feeling that the judge is feeding all of us some rope to see if anyone hangs themselves.I am being the queen of sweetness, and making all arrangements by text so there's no chance for any "miscommunication." Plus his wife gets to live out the ultimate codie fantasy of supervising an alcoholic during an important event. I hope she really enjoys that.
So that was it. The finale of our yearlong battle royale. And I was enough. My voice, my words, my truth. It was enough.
Thanks all my SR peeps, for the massive amounts of support and wisdom.
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And breathe................
The true tragic character in all this is that poor lawyer of his: "So he wasn't an alcoholic by the definition of an alcoholic being someone who drinks every day." I'll bet you dollars to donuts, Ladyscribbler, that even he knew he was fighting a losing battle with that one.
I'm happy for you, and happy this is over. You did great, but I think we all knew you would.
The true tragic character in all this is that poor lawyer of his: "So he wasn't an alcoholic by the definition of an alcoholic being someone who drinks every day." I'll bet you dollars to donuts, Ladyscribbler, that even he knew he was fighting a losing battle with that one.
I'm happy for you, and happy this is over. You did great, but I think we all knew you would.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
ladyscribbler.....absolutely, it is o.k. for you to chuckle....I was dancing with delight as I was reading your account of the proceedings.....! lol.
I loved the image of her "getting to supervise an alcoholic"......LOL.
I believe that the Force was with you....and, you got a decent judge.....
I am so happy for you, ladyscribbler.....finally, you can exhale a bit....
(I have always maintained that you should be writing sitcoms or stage plays...
you paint such vivid images....out of the damnable circumstances)....
dandylion
I loved the image of her "getting to supervise an alcoholic"......LOL.
I believe that the Force was with you....and, you got a decent judge.....
I am so happy for you, ladyscribbler.....finally, you can exhale a bit....
(I have always maintained that you should be writing sitcoms or stage plays...
you paint such vivid images....out of the damnable circumstances)....
dandylion
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
And every other time I brought it up before that. He just spent a fortune in legal fees to have someone tell him to go to rehab. Is it wrong that I'm getting a bit of a chuckle out of that?
I don't get why this is funny? Yes it is wrong that you are chuckling in my point of view.
I don't get why this is funny? Yes it is wrong that you are chuckling in my point of view.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Grateful......all due respect, I don't think that Ladyscribbler is getting delight out of the basic situation.....far from it, I think....
I think that it is the absolute IRONY of the situation that she is responding to.....
(irony is the basis of most humor).
After all that Ladyscribbler has been through, I think it is a testament to her inner resilience that she can find something to laugh about in the darkest of times......
I know that if I didn't have that ability....I would surely be dead, by now......
dandylion
I think that it is the absolute IRONY of the situation that she is responding to.....
(irony is the basis of most humor).
After all that Ladyscribbler has been through, I think it is a testament to her inner resilience that she can find something to laugh about in the darkest of times......
I know that if I didn't have that ability....I would surely be dead, by now......
dandylion
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
LOL, glad it turned out so well. See--sometimes the justice system really DOES work as it should. It's a painful process even when it does (as you discovered), but you had a good lawyer, a good judge, and your own good sense, preparation, and calm on your side, as well.
As you know, this probably won't be the last time you're in court with him, but hopefully this good outcome will make him think twice about dragging you into court for trivial BS. I hope he's responsible for your legal fees, as well?
Nice job, lady!!!
As you know, this probably won't be the last time you're in court with him, but hopefully this good outcome will make him think twice about dragging you into court for trivial BS. I hope he's responsible for your legal fees, as well?
Nice job, lady!!!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
LS, so glad to hear that you got some measure of justice done! As others said, yes, you are enough. And it's nice to have that validated once in a while, especially when it's about something so important.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by Grateful11 
And every other time I brought it up before that. He just spent a fortune in legal fees to have someone tell him to go to rehab. Is it wrong that I'm getting a bit of a chuckle out of that?
I don't get why this is funny? Yes it is wrong that you are chuckling in my point of view.
I don't get why this is funny? Yes it is wrong that you are chuckling in my point of view.
I don't think I'd be able to stop with a ladylike chuckle, I'd be guffawing. It isn't the fact that he needs rehab that's funny, it's the ridiculous lengths he went to, to try to avoid it (only to lose in the end) that is funny.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by LexieCat
This guy made her life miserable for over a year trying to wrest custody away from her based upon flat-out lies and false evidence. In the process she had to turn over private journals detailing the pain of their life together. She wanted him to go to rehab to protect the well-being of their child. He refused, and put her through all this, only to get what SHE wanted in the first place.
I don't think I'd be able to stop with a ladylike chuckle, I'd be guffawing. It isn't the fact that he needs rehab that's funny, it's the ridiculous lengths he went to, to try to avoid it (only to lose in the end) that is funny.
I don't think I'd be able to stop with a ladylike chuckle, I'd be guffawing. It isn't the fact that he needs rehab that's funny, it's the ridiculous lengths he went to, to try to avoid it (only to lose in the end) that is funny.
Funny and Just. Lady, you've fought a hard, uphill battle for a long time & I am OVERJOYED that this is finally turning in your favor. What an awesome success story!!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
Yea for the TRUTH! It was told, it was heard, and it RULED!!!!!
Grateful, the point Lady is making is that despite her ex's fervent and repeated lies, the truth came out. That is was at his financial expense is the consequence he receives for lying, which, had he had any self-knowledge or humility at all, he should have known before he tried to bull his way through the judicial system with just bulls**t.
ShootingStar1
Grateful, the point Lady is making is that despite her ex's fervent and repeated lies, the truth came out. That is was at his financial expense is the consequence he receives for lying, which, had he had any self-knowledge or humility at all, he should have known before he tried to bull his way through the judicial system with just bulls**t.
ShootingStar1
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