Liveitwell

Last nights session was amazing...one of the books we discussed was Shel Silverstein's "The Missing Piece Finds the Big O". I have to say I wish they made this required reading for everyone, seriously. If you haven't read it the book is a parable on love and looking for love in all the wrong places. True real love doesn't complete us or make us more whole and isn't about "I'd die without you". That's not love, it's dependency and need of an unhealthy person. True real good love allows us to grow into more wholeness. It speaks to those of us fixers/saviors and also those expecting someone to complete them or save them. It is a truly beautiful story of how looking for someone to fill our voids and complete us is not love....and that we must first be whole or we will never find true love. Anyone who has been in this role as savior or victim, I urge you to pick it up. Honestly, I saw a lot of my ex and I in the book with the unhealthy behaviors.....I tried to fix him (because I didn't want to lose my love, my husband as I saw him fall into alcoholism) and he put way too much on me to save him and keep him in line (and love him like his mom did-but that's a whole other issue!). Anyway, if you have a chance to read it, worth the time. Reinforces that if we are not fully healthy full complete individuals we will not find a healthy partner.
Just wanted to share....good stuff!

Peace to y'all today

Liveitwell

We also discussed purity after divorce and also how porn impacts a marriage-basically anything that is impure degrades and devalues what God holds so high-marriage. I know my ex looked at porn -he admitted to it but I'm sure it was much more than he admitted to. It hurt like hell to feel that betrayal and in turn be blamed for HIS choice to look at porn and I could tell by his actions that not only did alcoholism cause his morals to slide but the porn did too-he went from cherishing me and respecting my body to viewing me as an object...he told me that at times in so many words. The session was truly focused on keeping ourselves pure as God intended so we don't suffer the consequences of sinful choices AND not expecting others to make us happy-as that is futile bc nobody can do that and it is doomed to fail! Anyway, just sharing-this class has been a Godsend-truly-and I hope to bring some peace or words of wisdom (?) to some of y'all traveling the same path. Lord knows I need them!!

Astolfo

Shel Silverstein is fantastic, and "The Missing Piece" in particular. Here is a link to an online version of the story,, for anyone who wants to be inspired:


The Missing Piece Meets the Big O

healthyagain

This is so great! I only wish someone showed me this 15 years ago.

Helly

That's such a great link THANKS FOR SHARING!!!!!!!!! X