Boltin' and Runnin'
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Boltin' and Runnin'
Dear folks
I am facing a decision and would like some input here. In addition to trying to recover, there is a potential job change on the horizon. Although this would be a very good move, it presents its own set of stresses. This brings me to the question at hand:
I have recently realized that I belong to a parish that is apathetic to the core. I have a heck of a time getting responses from the authorities there on a few matters that I have sought help on. In fact, they rarely return my phone calls. This is causing me frustration and stress that I really don't need right now.
The other parish I am thinking about moving to has been known for its outreach. I have friends who have made the same move there, including a lady whose husband recently died after a long illness. She belonged to my current parish, and they failed to respond to her cries for spiritual help for him as he underwent the dying process. She moved to the other parish early on, and they are still reaching out to her since he died.
Before I was in my program, I used to run away a lot from hard situations. I don't know if this current desire to change parishes is healthy, or old habit patterns resurfacing.
Many thanks for your thoughts!
I am facing a decision and would like some input here. In addition to trying to recover, there is a potential job change on the horizon. Although this would be a very good move, it presents its own set of stresses. This brings me to the question at hand:
I have recently realized that I belong to a parish that is apathetic to the core. I have a heck of a time getting responses from the authorities there on a few matters that I have sought help on. In fact, they rarely return my phone calls. This is causing me frustration and stress that I really don't need right now.
The other parish I am thinking about moving to has been known for its outreach. I have friends who have made the same move there, including a lady whose husband recently died after a long illness. She belonged to my current parish, and they failed to respond to her cries for spiritual help for him as he underwent the dying process. She moved to the other parish early on, and they are still reaching out to her since he died.
Before I was in my program, I used to run away a lot from hard situations. I don't know if this current desire to change parishes is healthy, or old habit patterns resurfacing.
Many thanks for your thoughts!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Your post reminded me of the St. Francis prayer:
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 333
Originally Posted by Eauchiche 
Before I was in my program, I used to run away a lot from hard situations. I don't know if this current desire to change parishes is healthy, or old habit patterns resurfacing.
Many thanks for your thoughts!
Many thanks for your thoughts!
I find that expressing spirituality is best done with like-minded individuals who hold values similar to your own.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
E-
Old Church...
apathetic to the core.
I have a heck of a time getting responses from the authorities
they rarely return my phone calls.
causing me frustration and stress
failed to respond to her cries for spiritual help
New Church:
has been known for its outreach.
and they are still reaching out to her since he died.
I work at a church, and the comments about your old church are horrible. Not sure why you have any allegiance to them. What are they doing for you? I know change is hard, plus the new job. But I think the writing is on the wall. Give them a try for a couple weeks and see how it goes. Make the decision when you have more experience with the new church!!
Hugs my friend, I hope the new "potential" job change is a good thing!!
Old Church...
apathetic to the core.
I have a heck of a time getting responses from the authorities
they rarely return my phone calls.
causing me frustration and stress
failed to respond to her cries for spiritual help
New Church:
has been known for its outreach.
and they are still reaching out to her since he died.
I work at a church, and the comments about your old church are horrible. Not sure why you have any allegiance to them. What are they doing for you? I know change is hard, plus the new job. But I think the writing is on the wall. Give them a try for a couple weeks and see how it goes. Make the decision when you have more experience with the new church!!
Hugs my friend, I hope the new "potential" job change is a good thing!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by Thomas45
Do you attend church to seek spirituality that you do not yet have, or do you attend church as an expression of your spirituality?
I have enjoyed many things about that parish, but have come to realize that the new parish has healing prayer groups. This interests me very much. I also host a small group in my home that consists entirely of friends from the new parish.
I keep thinking of the serenity prayer and trying to apply it here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by maia1234
E-
I work at a church, and the comments about your old church are horrible. Not sure why you have any allegiance to them. What are they doing for you?
I work at a church, and the comments about your old church are horrible. Not sure why you have any allegiance to them. What are they doing for you?
Maia, with your job you will really appreciate this final thought:
Two weeks ago, I did an emergency baptism for a Sikh man who was in danger of death. We really thought he would die that afternoon. He wanted to convert to Christianity. I baptized him right then.
Our church law requires that we notify the pastor of our parish when this rare event occurs, so they can place the new convert on our church roles. I have finally decided after two weeks of trying through e-mails and phone calls that I am done with this issue. God knows that this man is baptized, and this is enough. Incidentally, the man has also been recovering from the condition that almost killed him....
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I wouldn't think twice about it, based on what you've shared, E. Your current parish doesn't sound as though they practice what they preach? (pun kinda intended, but I do mean it seriously... I can't handle hypocrisy in religion/spirituality so this may be a personal trigger for me.)
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
I Agree with Hopeful. It seems a common symptom of Codependency is NOT the ability to be flexible and change with the wind as needed....
It sounds like making this change could be a huge boost to your spiritual health, as well as your recovery. Best to you!
It sounds like making this change could be a huge boost to your spiritual health, as well as your recovery. Best to you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Dear friends, Thank you all!
I just sent an e-mail to the music director I have been playing for to let him know I won't be back.
Considering that I left someone after 14 years that was a lot nicer than my parish, I didn't see any reason to delay the decision.
Thanks again for all your support.
I just sent an e-mail to the music director I have been playing for to let him know I won't be back.
Considering that I left someone after 14 years that was a lot nicer than my parish, I didn't see any reason to delay the decision.
Thanks again for all your support.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I think you made the right decision.
Sorry that I was a little late to this. I had a story to tell you, so I will anyway.
When I moved to PA. to live with my friends, I was taking care of their father for them since they were commuting from NJ to Pa each week. He was a church lector. When he got ill, no one from that church even inquired about his health. He was a lector there for about 30 years.
When his condition declined to where he could not live alone anymore, he moved in with us. He started to go to his sons church. The priest there always made him feel comfortable and even brought the communion over to him so that he would not have to walk to receive it. When he was no longer able to attend church, that priest would come to the house to give him communion. He was never officially a member of that church.
I think you did the right thing.
((((((((hugs))))))))
amy
Sorry that I was a little late to this. I had a story to tell you, so I will anyway.
When I moved to PA. to live with my friends, I was taking care of their father for them since they were commuting from NJ to Pa each week. He was a church lector. When he got ill, no one from that church even inquired about his health. He was a lector there for about 30 years.
When his condition declined to where he could not live alone anymore, he moved in with us. He started to go to his sons church. The priest there always made him feel comfortable and even brought the communion over to him so that he would not have to walk to receive it. When he was no longer able to attend church, that priest would come to the house to give him communion. He was never officially a member of that church.
I think you did the right thing.
((((((((hugs))))))))
amy
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