Kboys-thinking of you...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
Thanks forourgirls, for thinking of me 
The boys and I went to my parent's house last week on Monday. He was home from work that day, and I knew he was drinking all day, so I didn't even bother stopping by to talk to him or get clothes or anything. Just picked up the kids from daycare and left. I sent him a text telling him we wouldn't be coming home. I was able to go by later in the week when I knew he wasn't there to get some stuff...
Throughout the week I got lots of nasty text messages ... "I hope you're having fun f***ing everyone in (your parent's town)" "I will destroy your reputation"
"worthless piece of s***" etc...
I saved all of them.
On Thursday he called me at work, and I answered, because I didn't recognize the number he was calling from. He was sober and calm, but the conversation was ridiculous, and reinforced to me just how much in denial he is, and that he will never take responsibility.
He basically just was continuing to blame me, and tell me that I never listened to him when has been telling me he was unhappy since the kids have been born... we don't get to spend as much time together.... It's all about the kids... I neglect him... If the kids spent all night in their beds and he got to wake up next to me every morning, he wouldn't be so mad all the time and wouldn't drink.
I had to stop myself from laughing.
In the past, I would have gotten angry, and defended myself, told him all the things I HAVE DONE to make time for HIM, sacrificing my sleep, getting NO time for MYSELF. Basically running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to make him happy, make the kids happy, work full time, and stay sane. I really don't think there is anything else I could have or should have done. I needed his HELP with the kids, but instead just got blamed for everything that wasn't working while he did what he wanted...
But I've said all that to him, and it does no good. I know better now.
I was feeling good and strong until yesterday...
I agreed to pick him up so he could go to the pumpkin patch with us.
He was sober, and being nice... so I figured it would be good for the kids.
And it was really fun. Just like nothing had happened, sort of.
It was really difficult for me to drop him back off, and go back to my parent's, but I did...
I keep forcing myself to think about the bad stuff, and I've re-read what I have written in my last post... because I CANNOT let myself get sucked back in this time. It's not going to change, and I know that.
Reminders would be helpful.
THANKS!!!!!
The boys and I went to my parent's house last week on Monday. He was home from work that day, and I knew he was drinking all day, so I didn't even bother stopping by to talk to him or get clothes or anything. Just picked up the kids from daycare and left. I sent him a text telling him we wouldn't be coming home. I was able to go by later in the week when I knew he wasn't there to get some stuff...
Throughout the week I got lots of nasty text messages ... "I hope you're having fun f***ing everyone in (your parent's town)" "I will destroy your reputation"
"worthless piece of s***" etc...
I saved all of them.
On Thursday he called me at work, and I answered, because I didn't recognize the number he was calling from. He was sober and calm, but the conversation was ridiculous, and reinforced to me just how much in denial he is, and that he will never take responsibility.
He basically just was continuing to blame me, and tell me that I never listened to him when has been telling me he was unhappy since the kids have been born... we don't get to spend as much time together.... It's all about the kids... I neglect him... If the kids spent all night in their beds and he got to wake up next to me every morning, he wouldn't be so mad all the time and wouldn't drink.
I had to stop myself from laughing.
In the past, I would have gotten angry, and defended myself, told him all the things I HAVE DONE to make time for HIM, sacrificing my sleep, getting NO time for MYSELF. Basically running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to make him happy, make the kids happy, work full time, and stay sane. I really don't think there is anything else I could have or should have done. I needed his HELP with the kids, but instead just got blamed for everything that wasn't working while he did what he wanted...
But I've said all that to him, and it does no good. I know better now.
I was feeling good and strong until yesterday...
I agreed to pick him up so he could go to the pumpkin patch with us.
He was sober, and being nice... so I figured it would be good for the kids.
And it was really fun. Just like nothing had happened, sort of.
It was really difficult for me to drop him back off, and go back to my parent's, but I did...
I keep forcing myself to think about the bad stuff, and I've re-read what I have written in my last post... because I CANNOT let myself get sucked back in this time. It's not going to change, and I know that.
Reminders would be helpful.
THANKS!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Oh Kboys-thank you for checking in! Yep-pretty typical ****-they can turn on Mr Nice guy for a short while and only when it serves their interests-it will not last. Please take precautions as he will potentially explode when he realizes you are not jumping on the crazy train with him again. What hopeful says above ^^. Many hugs to you today!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Yeah, amazing the nicey-nice they can pull out of their butts when they want something. good thing is - thanks to this place, we are well trained in seeing it all. Keep up the good work - the only one of the 2 of you capable of change right now is you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
KBoys, honest to goodness change is monumental. It's tangible. You feel it in your bones.
It doesn't happen in a day or two.
This goes for both of you. Stay strong. Read your past posts. You and your children deserves better than the nightmare that you have grown accustomed to.
It doesn't happen in a day or two.
This goes for both of you. Stay strong. Read your past posts. You and your children deserves better than the nightmare that you have grown accustomed to.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Kboys-what sparkle kitty said-all day long. I slid backwards and back to my then husband so many times bc I so wanted to believe him-and I did....until I didn't. He showed his true colors and yours has showed his. Just keep us posted on things, ok? I'm worried about you!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I hate this part of addiction. The mindf8dge times when they act so "normal" and you start questioning all of your perceptions and your hopes start to climb, only to be dashed again by their next big drunk. I honestly wish that my mom would stay plastered all of the time versus doing the yo-yo thing. I actually think it would be easier that way.
You are on the right path, Kboys. Listen to your intuition for you and for your children.
You are on the right path, Kboys. Listen to your intuition for you and for your children.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
Thanks everybody 
You guys are awesome
I will keep posting.
Yes, definitely this^^^ Me too
You guys are awesomeI will keep posting.
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons 
I honestly wish that my mom would stay plastered all of the time versus doing the yo-yo thing. I actually think it would be easier that way.
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