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It's manipulation, pure and simple.

Addicts have an incredible level of narcissism, and it is all about them, and you had better be all about them(at least in their eyes), too.

I'm married(now separated) to an addict, and since you're engaged, I will tell you that marriage is the bind that will only make things better: for them.

I'm embittered(and know this), and I will advise you, and anyone who is engaged/dating/whatever with an addict, to read any posts from those who are married to addicts.

The underlying characteristics we all share is that we suffer, and we cope.

While it's part of the vows, it's definitely not the lightening rod that brings anyone to the alter for.

And being that you know this before the 'I do', you really have only one choice for happiness:

Run. In the other direction, and as fast and hard as you can.

Not sure? Then just keep reading. You may find a nugget of happy somewhere is all this. It's just gonna take you a long while before you do.

Then ask yourself this: Is that what you want your life to be about?

I'm truly sorry I'm blunt about this, and wish I had a more loving way to tell you to RUN!!!!

But I'm used up, scarred, and just plain tired...

Peace to you!