sauerkraut

I am so grateful for the stories you all share, for being able to learn from your experiences, and for being able to realize the patterns of alcoholic marriages, and, therefore, what I need to do.

Long story short, after 16 years of marriage and 3 kids with an AH, I told my husband I'm done. He's long refused to move out, and he's fighting to have 50/50 custody with no restrictions--except a handshake between the two of us saying that neither of us will drink when we have the kids.

So I'm signing a lease on my own place today. His insane (but sober, I think) ranting last night about how my mistrust of his ability to remain sober bodes poorly for the collaborative divorce we both say we want just sealed the deal for me. I can't believe that he still doesn't realize he's an alcoholic, and that being addicted to alcohol does not make a person bad, it just means they might do bad things. However, I can't do anything about his denial, either.

So, I'm still working out the child custody plan, but I'm also looking forward to my new life, away from his insanity and the misery that has become our marriage.

Please send positive thoughts my way (west, way west in the continental U.S.) as I know the next few weeks before the move will likely get scary as he realizes he no longer has control over me. I look forward to my first breath of fresh ocean air, in the next chapter of my life.

theuncertainty

Sending wishes for peace and continued strength as you move forward. (((hugs)))

firebolt

Sending flowers and rainbows and PEACE your way! Happy days ahead, sister!!

Liveitwell

Sending hugs and prayers for peace and serenity-you'll get there! Hopeful things go smoothly for you...with relatively few quacks (!). Peace to you.