People of SR: I am free!
 

Free at last!

Goodbye to the alcoholic who stole the last 8 years of my life. I have FINALLY left him, and there is absolutely no turning back. How, you might ask, have I ensured that I won't go back on my decision?

Because he has been regularly hiring prostitutes for the last 9 months.

And, I'm done. OUT! Thank GOD I didn't get pregnant with him. Thank GOD I have this apartment in my name. Thank GOD I have been saving money and creating connections during my training so that I can find a job. And making friends to support me, and re-connecting with my family. These steps saved me. Your advice saved me.

I was so worried about him when he relapsed. Nobody has seen or heard from him since Thursday, and I was so worried. What a fool I was. And, also, how lucky I was to stumble across this information. Thanks to his disgusting behavior, my life is completely in shambles. And it is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Off to the lawyer on Tuesday. And, to the clinic to get myself tested.

Both horrible things. But, finally, I am free.

I'm so sorry to hear that it turned out this way. I'm here for you.

I'm sure that your are going thru many emotions right now. Just know that this is a really good place to vent.

(((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
amy

That behavior on his part is inexcusable, in my eyes, and would be the end of the road, no discussion, no nothing. Done. Out.

Jenibean, sometimes it takes a real thunderbolt to get moving, and it sounds like you surely got one. I'm sorry for the pain and anger you're feeling, but I'm so glad you know what to do AND you have the strength and desire to follow thru on that now.

Sounds like things blew up on your 8th move with him to yet another new house but time you didn't pack his **** and meanwhile he's been hanging with "The Girls" in Vegas?? My guess is this has been what he's done all along with you. Or "to" you. Not a very good situation for you.

Sending you tons of support Jeni.

I am truly sorry he has disrespected you in this manner.

Slam that door closed, nail it shut , and go forward. You deserve so much better.

Sending you big, big healing hugs!

I cannot believe the sociopathic nature of trying to start a family together while he has been doing this for so long.

I am so grossed out, upset, disappointed, ANGRY, and relieved (that I have finally hit the point where I can say "no more!") all at the same time.

What kind of sick person leads this double life?

I second this!!!!! Been there done that......

What a terrible abuse of your trust and love.

Glad you are done and sending you rapid healing, a clean bill of health
and hopefully a good settlement for a new start.

I was thinking with your yoga cert you might be able to get on teaching in a resort
or maybe a cruise line since you are packed and free.

Big break, new life
You can do it

Hugs Jeni. . .

Good grief. There are no words to describe just how disgusting that is and the pain it must cause you.

I am so happy to hear you can use this to set yourself free.

I am at a similar place at the moment after one infidelity being revealed to me and I am not so naive to think it is the only one and pray I never have to hear about it.

It is truly shocking just how morally corrupt some people can be.

You are strong- women have to be.

Wow I am sorry for all this and not surprised. Honey, many people live double lives. It becomes pretty obvious when they are gone all the time, missing flights, scheduled vacations etc.

I hope those whom are choosing to stay because financially its good will read your story, and get that the price one pays can be ones life to stay with an addict - money be damned. It is the root of all evil. Simply put there is no price for sanity and peace of mind.

Praying that you get a clean bill of health on Tuesday. Best wishes for your future which now looks bright that you have left this toxic mess.

Jenni what a horrible shock for you. I'm glad you found out what's going on, and that you've wisely prepared the way for something that was almost inevitable.

You're a poster girl for looking after your side of the street.

Oh, Jeni, I'm so sorry. How disgustingly disrespectful. But I'm HAPPY to hear you using this anger instead of wallowing in sadness.

I'm SO proud of you for setting yourself up to protect yourself. That's some AWESOME self-love & self-trust right there!

:You_Rock_ :scoregood :grouphug:

Proud of you!!! Keep moving forward...and as far away from him as possible. Peace to you today.

I am so sorry you have had to go through this, but so very HAPPY that you are FREE!!!!

So happy you are FREE!!! ENJOY!!

I had to get myself tested when my AXGF told me she had slept with (at least) two other men when she was with me. It was the first time I was ever tested, and it was a bit embarrassing for me. But we do what we have to do.

Stay strong.

I just visited my lawyer who informed me that she never got the signed cohabitation document that she sent to him. So that's a HUGE cluster-**** in my life today. I did manage to save a decent amount of money on my own in the last 6 months, but nothing to support me for any extended period of time. So we revised the document to be very simple with a lump sum that breaks down what the money is in liu of, assets-wise, and I have to put my tail between my legs and ask him to sign it. Which, I can assure everyone, will go horribly. But I have to ask.

My only saving grace is that he is detoxing and guilty and vulnerable. Perhaps the combination of the two will leave him feeling generous momentarily.

Otherwise, I am STILL at his mercy, financially. So I lied: not free. Same old ****. FML.

You are getting there - there will be road blocks - keep trucking!!

JB, it seems possible that the only way for you to become financially independent is to leave him. Right now it seems like you're hoping that he will somehow give you enough money to be able to live off of for a long period after leaving, but that might never happen. It seems like you've been trying for a long time to force him to guarantee you financial stability. He knows you want this and has actively avoided giving it to you. Maybe he realizes that keeping you on a short leash financially keeps you dependent on him? I think you're at a crossroads where you will have to choose between getting your financial needs met by continuing to live with a man who has been physically and emotionally abusive, who hires prostitutes and puts your sexual health in danger, on the one hand, and maybe struggling for a while to make ends meet on the other. Only you can decide when you've had enough.

Where there is a will, there is a way.
.
There comes a point where we cut our losses and live it the best we can.

No where to go but up, there maybe a short period of struggle/hardship, and you may be uncomfortable for a short period. You get to decide where you are placing your current life values, Is your sanity important? your dignity? your self worth?

Breakup/divorce Always come with a price, there is no way to dodge that bullet, it's just a fact of life.

he is playing a life or death game with your health and well being, how do you put a price on that?

Save yourself, my friend.