blondeblonde80

It creeps back in. I thought I was doing so great and feeling good, not missing him and the chaos and sadness. It's been 5 months since my exA left. I know he's not sober, even though he tells everyone he is. I've heard that he's broken his hand and looks like **** but tells all the mutual people we have he's doing great. I don't want to miss him anymore. Sometimes I like the idea of dating again and then it sounds like the worst thing ever and makes me miss him more. I get lonely in the house and the good memories creep in, and then an hour later I'm so angry I'm screaming at him even though he's not there. I started dreaming about him again. It's like he's a ghost haunting me.

Thank you for reading my vent... Just needed to get it out today.

amy55

(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

You will get through this.

amy

Thomas45

Approach it on your own terms when you're ready. I wasn't able to even think about dating until almost a year after my separation because that's how long it took me to start feeling like a normal, healthy person again. My own outlook on relationships is that I can't expect somebody else to be happy with me until I am completely happy with myself.

Uplifting

I completely agree with this about even approaching dating, I am not even close as I am still disentangling myself currently, but I still wish and fantasize in a way and yearn for a real sincere loving honest relationship that is satisfying and not that "completes me" or fills my void, but one of equals that take care of and respect another's needs. I feel so far from this, since I have not been able to give myself the love and respect I deserve, and I am desperately trying with my actions to give this to myself lately, but it doesn't always take away the yearning for the "other" which at times is sad and scary.

maia1234

BB-
I have read that God makes you feel the burn of dealing with an addict. He does this so we don't get in this mess again.

Hugs my friend, it does hurt, cry and be sad. Tomorrow will feel a little better.

ad0117

I know exactly how you feel! I miss my ex like crazy sometimes and feel that awful emptiness. I still dream about him, too. Then there are times when I hate him for breaking my heart. I tried to make myself start dating again, but then I just find myself comparing guys I meet to my ex-the good qualities, of course. That tells me I'm not ready. There is no time limit on healing, so take your time. Get stronger and be the person you want to be. It will get better. I look back now and can't believe I've made it this far. There were times in the past few months that I didn't think I'd be able to make it through this. My heartbreak consumed my every thought and action. It still hurts more than anything, but I've just learned to handle it better I think. Some days are still rough and I'm sure there will be more down the road. It just takes time and patience. Hugs to you!

FeelingGreat

Blondie you're right on schedule, going from anger to grief to feeling OK then back again. It's like the stages of grief, except you go through them all in one day or hour.

I know you know you're making progress and you needed a good rant. That's really healthy and I hope you feel better. Don't hesitate to come on to SR when you're having a bad day.

blondeblonde80

Thank you so much to everyone. I can't tell you all how grateful I am that I found this site. It's carried me through some of my darkest moments.

Liveitwell

Someone wise told me that grief is not a linear thing-it's true ! Just feel it and let it run it's course. You will be ok. Peace to you today