Watch out AA!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: London
Posts: 43
Watch out AA!
So I broke NC with my XABF today because I found something out which made me so angry. I know that trying to get the truth out of him is completely pointless so I won't bother again but in this case it was quite helpful for me.
It turns out that after 5 and a half years of very deep and worrying alcoholism which he admitted to both of our families (and years before that but to be fair he probably didn't know), it has only taken 1 week to completely cure himself of his alcoholism. Apparently since we have broken up he has found it easier with each passing day not to drink and can surround himself with his friends (funnily enough most of them are alcoholics which I have never realised until now) and family to keep strong.
I had to laugh out loud I was so shocked!! I wasn't even sad at the side dig that implies it is all my fault and I was not part of his real family despite having a lovely relationship together for most of that time.
So apparently it is that easy folks......all the suffering and difficulties that some of the people on this and other forums experience in trying to get sober is all a fallacy apparently. If only he could bottle it.......he'd be a billionaire!
It turns out that after 5 and a half years of very deep and worrying alcoholism which he admitted to both of our families (and years before that but to be fair he probably didn't know), it has only taken 1 week to completely cure himself of his alcoholism. Apparently since we have broken up he has found it easier with each passing day not to drink and can surround himself with his friends (funnily enough most of them are alcoholics which I have never realised until now) and family to keep strong.
I had to laugh out loud I was so shocked!! I wasn't even sad at the side dig that implies it is all my fault and I was not part of his real family despite having a lovely relationship together for most of that time.
So apparently it is that easy folks......all the suffering and difficulties that some of the people on this and other forums experience in trying to get sober is all a fallacy apparently. If only he could bottle it.......he'd be a billionaire!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Get it out, all of it. You're right, it's pointless at this moment to get any truth or to think you can have a dialogue at all, so stand up , brush off your knees and move on for your own peace of mind. There are better things ahead and you don't have to mess with him any longer. Hugs!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 61
Me, I would not consider him in recovery till a lot of time has passed. They also love to blame their spouses/partners. It is an excuse not to wear the blame.
Don't buy into his finger pointing. Hugs.
Don't buy into his finger pointing. Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Keep venting. The more I see and learn of this disease, the more I am left speechless. I could have written your post almost word for word. Sad and disturbing isn't it! They are in their own little world with blinders on and don't see the world outside even exists. Peace to you-you are on your way to healing. No more quacks!! 
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
I hope it lasts for his sake Ally, but the fact is he didn't bother when you were together; doesn't matter whats happening now. I agree with the passive aggressive part of his message.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: London
Posts: 43
Yes that is exactly what I think his new plan is. Now that I am out of the way it is only his family that he needs to convince now. I have tried to warn them of this but I am sure they think I am brokenhearted and cannot accept that he just fell out of love with me overnight.....
The sheer cunning never ceases to amaze me when it comes to protecting the addiction. However when it comes to expressing a single coherent opinion or feeling on anything else.....nothing.
It truly is a uniquely insidious disease. Next step.....getting me moved on.
The sheer cunning never ceases to amaze me when it comes to protecting the addiction. However when it comes to expressing a single coherent opinion or feeling on anything else.....nothing.
It truly is a uniquely insidious disease. Next step.....getting me moved on.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 352
My A husband did this the first time we split as a result of his drinking. Started going to the gym daily, putting on a " life is so much better without her" face to everyone, telling me he had stopped drinking because he didn't have me nagging him.
Lasted 4 weeks.
Lasted 4 weeks.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Ally-
Wonderful News!! I am so happy that he has found Sobriety!!! If it was only that easy, loose the spouse, gain freedom to drink non stop, and they find sobriety!!!
Honey, I am sure you haven't heard the last from him. Hugs my friend, continue with the NC and you will get stronger each day.
Wonderful News!! I am so happy that he has found Sobriety!!! If it was only that easy, loose the spouse, gain freedom to drink non stop, and they find sobriety!!!
Honey, I am sure you haven't heard the last from him. Hugs my friend, continue with the NC and you will get stronger each day.
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